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Well, I can't believe this is happening. On Thursday, January 13th, I woke up and was expecting to get AF, but I've been temping and my temp, which I was expecting to go down, went up. The only other time that happened when I was expecting AF was when I was pregnant with my son. So I took a test and got two pink lines...the test line was a lot lighter than the control line but very visible. I was totally shocked! It was crazy b/c I had an appointment with another RE that day to get a second opinion. I decided to keep the appointment b/c I wasn't sure the test was accurate and still wanted to know what the doctor had to say. Well, he didn't give me much hope for conceiving naturally(even though my DH's counts are almost normal now.) and told us with IUI we will have 8-10% chance of conceiving per cycle....so not very good odds. I told him about the positive test I got and he ordered a HCG blood test on me and they called me from the office a couple hours later and told me I was pregnant! I also took a digital test that said pregnant. DH and I were sooo happy since we've been trying for so long, but the next day I was a little worried b/c I took another test which was still pretty light. The next day my test still seemed light (I know it was darker at this point when I was pregnant with Mason) and yesterday (Sunday) they called from the doctor's office to say that my HCG did not go up at all from two days before (it's supposed to double). I'm not bleeding or cramping yet, but I know it my heart it's over I'm 4 weeks and 3 days pregnant today, so I'm barely pregnant....but I loved this little baby soooo much the minute I found out I was pregnant.
It's just so hard to believe....7 months ago we basically got told we wouldn't be able to have more kids b/c of DH's low sperm count....DH went through varicocele surgery and things were looking much better and we managed to conceive just 3 months after his surgery (which is the soonest you can expect the surgery to help b/c it takes sperm 3 months to form).....and after it FINALLY, miraculously happens, we have to go through a miscarriage on top of it all Oh, and we had to find this out on Mason's birthday when I was so excited to be pregnant by his 2nd birthday DH and I were so excited to have proven those doctor's wrong..we DID conceive naturally....but I guess it doesn't matter b/c we're STILL not going to have a baby.
I will add though that I don't believe that we have such a low chance of conceiving on our own since it happened so soon after the surgery. We were planning to do IUI next cycle but I think we will try on our own for the next few months.
I'm actually taking this better than I thought....probably b/c in a way...every cycle for the last year has felt a bit like a miscarriage....thinking I could be pregnant and finding out that I'm not....The disappointment and sadness is greater this time b/c I actually WAS pregnant and now it's not going to work out, but I dunno, maybe I'm just becoming immune to grief? Whatever. I'll be ok. I just really hope it can happen again before too long and we can have a healthy baby soon.
__________________ Joyful Mama to 2 Sweet little boys
I am sorry to hear all of this, but know that we are all here for you!
TTC #1 since August 2009
DH=42.......SA's off the charts!!!
One year on our own=BFNs
Clomid+BDing (4 months)=BFNs
IUI #1 Feb. 2011=BFN
IUI #2 Apr. 2011=BFN
1st RE appt.=May 2011
1st IVF cycle June/July=delayed due to OHSS concern
1st FET Oct. 2011=BFP!!!!!!
WOW, two babies.........