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I know how that is! I'm so sorry it's not working and it's rough.
I have opks, and I'll probably use them, but I'm feeling very defeated. My cycles were getting shorter, and then last month bam 42 days! WTH!?! I've been taking vitex, which is what shortened it the two months before to around 33 days. I haven't made an appt with the dr. I want to, but we're totally broke right now. Summer time is always rough for my husband's business, but it's on the up now. I'm CD12? I don't know. I've been trying not to pay attention as much b/c then I get more upset. I don't know what to feel anymore? The other day I actually had the thought that maybe Abby is our only and that's okay. Also, that having another would be too hard anyway b/c homeschooling Abby would be even harder. It made me tear up having those thoughts and truly feeling them at the moment. I think I've lost all hope.