[Arien]

Hello all! I'm pretty sure I have a journal around here somewhere, but I can't find it and since I've been TTC for well over a year, I figured I should start one in this forum anyway.

My hubby and I have been married for 2 years in January. I'm 35 and he will be 35 next month. I have three daughters from a previous marriage and relationship. We've been TTC for most of the past 2 years, though we did take a break for a few months awhile back because the emotional ups and downs were just getting to be too much (along with some other things, like some deaths in the family and major illnesses). We've been sort of trying for the past few months, but have now decided to really get active about it again. We haven't seen a doctor yet since DH just started a new job and we know we'll have to switch doctors again once his insurance kicks in, so we're waiting a bit longer on that. But we're doing everything non-medical we can right now to increase our chances. I don't have a lot of hope, but I'm not ready to give up yet!

[Arien]

I'm in the process of losing weight and just improving my health overall. I'd gotten up to 170 pounds by last summer, which is officially overweight for my height and bone structure. I'd been steadily gaining weight for nearly two years, and I'm wondering if that hasn't had something to do with our trouble getting PG. I started eating better and working out again, and I'm now down to 145 and am hoping to reach my target weight of 130 (which is what I was before I started piling on all the weight) by this summer. I lost 20 pounds between last summer and Christmas, and I've lost another 5 since then. Only 15 to go!!

[Arien]

I did my first temping today. It was 96.8. That seems awfully low to me, but maybe that's just because I don't normally take my temperature when I'm first waking up. But I guess the important point is to look for a pattern and any major changes to the pattern, right?

[Arien]

Temp today was 97.1. That seems like quite a jump. CM was sticky though, so I highly doubt I'm O'ing yet.

[Arien]

Temp is about the same, CM is thinning out and getting wetter. I'm guessing O-time should happen in the next few days. Looks like DH and I better get busy!!

[Arien]

I'm really worried about my cycle. I'm on cycle day 15 and I'm just now hitting my temp spike that indicates ovulation is about to occur. The problem is, I have only a 25 day cycle, so that would give me a luteal phase of 10 days or less. I've read that anything less than 12 days is bad. So maybe it's time to bring this up with my doctor.

If this is true, this could be why I haven't been getting pregnant. DH and I have been trying too soon, assuming that I'm ovulating 14 days before AF. But if I'm O'ing only 9 or 10 days before AF, then maybe it doesn't matter when we BD.

[Arien]

Well, I finally got the crosshairs on my chart, and according to that I O'd on CD14. That gives me an 11-day LP. I hope that's good enough. DH and I BD'd that night, a couple of days before and a couple of days after, so hopefully we'll get some results this time. But after two years of trying, most of that BD'ing every other day (DH can't do it every day), with no results at all, I'm not very hopeful.

[Arien]

Well, AF is due tomorrow. She's usually as regular as clockwork, so I should know tomorrow if we had any success this month. It would be nice to be able to tell DH on his birthday next Saturday that we're expecting, but I don't have my hopes up. Why should it work after 2 years of trying?

My temp went up again about 7 days after O. I know this could possibly indicate implantation, but I've also read that it doesn't necessarily mean anything. And even if implantation occurs, that doesn't mean AF won't still come and wash that little baby away. I've only been charting for one month though, so I really haven't had time to see how my temps work on a regular basis.

I fully expect AF to show tomorrow. I refuse to get my hopes up.

[Arien]

Well, my temp dropped this morning. I know that most likely means that AF is imminent. She's due today and I'm fully expecting her to show. I was really hoping to be able to tell DH on his birthday that we were going to have a baby, but that's looking very doubtful now.

[Arien]

AF was due yesterday and hasn't shown yet, but my temp has plummeted and is now back to pre-O levels, so I'm sure she will show by tomorrow. It's highly unusual for me to be even a day late, but it does happen on occasion.

I also had a BFN on a PT today, so I'm pretty sure AF will be here soon.

[Arien]

AF showed today, two whole days late. I don't think she's been this late in over a year. Figures she'd do this on my first month charting.

[Arien]

Wow, I just found out that gossypol, which comes from cottonseed oil and is found in products like potato chips, acts like "male birth control". I'm going to have to start checking food labels for this stuff.

And yay! I lost the 4 pounds I'd gained back. Only 15 to go (though I'd be happy with 10)!

[Arien]

Ugh! This month's chart says that my fertility signs are in conflict. It first said I O'd on CD 10! That's the day I first finished spotting for cryin' out loud! Then when I kept having watery and ew cm, it bumped my O date up one day, but says my sign are in conflict. So irritating!

I know I shouldn't be getting bent out of shape until I have a few more months' worth of charts to compare, but it's hard not to get frustrated at the possibility that I don't O at the same time each month, especially when AF arrives on CD 25 almost every single month without fail. Why would I O at different times but still get AF at the same time? That doesn't make sense to me.

[Arien]

Based on my continually rising temps, Fertility Friend has moved my O date up again. Now it's at CD 13, which is the day after DH and I BD'd. FF is saying our timing was "good". Not "high", but "good". Well, that's better than "low", which is what it was saying before.

But the crosshairs are still dashed, indicating conflicting fertility signs. I guess I'll just have to wait another 2 weeks or so and see what happens.

Okay, weird. I just went back to my chart to add my mood and energy levels, and after doing that the crosshairs are now solid. Well, it doesn't change the fact that I'm in the 2WW, so I still have to wait and see how it all plays out.

[Arien]

Well, I'm at 8 DPO and so far I haven't had another temp shift, so I'm not getting my hopes up this month. I hate all this waiting. 2 Week Wait my butt! It's more like every day that I don't have AF!

[Arien]

Well, another month bites the dust. Try, try again!

At least I'm getting the hang of charting, and now that a couple of months have gone by I can see a pattern to plan by.

[Arien]

My chart is all wonky this month. Based on my temps it is saying I might have O'd on CD 10, but I continued to have fertile CM and a soft, high cervix for several days after that. I had another temp spike on CD 14 and the fertility signs started fading after that, so I manually set my O date for CD 13, but of course I don't know for sure if that's right.

I think next cycle I'm going to start using OPK's along with charting, just for the added cross-reference.

[Arien]

This month is going much better than last month. A nice, clear ovulation pattern, with other signs that match up instead of conflict. BD'd on a good day, so hopefully we'll have success this time.

[Arien]

This month seemed to be going well, but today my temperature has dipped to the coverline. Not a good sign. Not that I really expected to be pregnant anyway.

[Arien]

My temperature has dipped below the coverline. I'm guessing this is another month down the tubes.