[Mommy2Dakota]

Hello! I'm Jo and I turned 30 this year. I have been trying for my second child for 2 years - my first is almost 3yrs old. I had one miscarriage Dec 2007 but nothing since. I have been tracking my fertility through charting and occassionly OPK's and have a short luteal phase (time between ovulation and AF). I was nursing my daughter so I tried herbal remedies, like Agnus Castus and B6 (200mg) which I am still taking but they haven't helped and I have an appointment with the doctor tomorrow.Its such a difficult time as I wanted three children originally but now I think that will never happen and I will be lucky just to get a second! Although I also realise I am very lucky to have ONE child as well. But that can make it harder for other people to understand, and harder to put baby-making out the mind and 'relax' as you get told doesn't it!Anyhoo, I look forward to meeting you all. I don't have regular internet access at home right now (soon!) but will be back hopefully soon!

[MamaAnna]

Depending on what your problem is it may be very easily remedied and you could have your sticky bean very soon. Will they be testing your progesterone? Be sure to take your charts with you, they can really help.

[stefler]

Hi! Hope you get your soon!!

[~InHisHands~]

Hello & I would recommend making sure they test your thyroid too. Mostly b/c I went forever without getting pg & found out I am hypo. One symptom of hypo is a LP defect which you obviously have & m/c is more common with hypo too. HTHs! GL & I hope you get your BFP soon!

[Vicki...]

Wow I hope your appointment goes well, sometimes there is little problems that these doctors can fix without much meds at all, so I am really hoping they find something to help you, don't give up!

[Mommy2Dakota]

Hey thanks everyone! And I am back online at home whoohoo!

The doc I saw today was very young (like, she only looked 16!) lol, but we're gonna have the initial bloodtests and I have got to convince hubby to have a sperm test (yikes) although I know we both have been interested in whether his fishes are swimming well! I have been saying for a while 'what if I am doing all this to fix my cycle and his are out of action anyways!'

She also said you don't get fertility treatment until you been trying for 3years? I always thought it was one? Or is that just with first-time couples?

Anyhoo, we're on a road of sorts now so I guess I have to try to be positive eh.

[~InHisHands~]

3 years! I've always heard 1 too! Actually my OB would have referred me in 6 months if the clomid thing didn't work... but I was trying for 3 years but not b/c they made me, it was b/c that's just how long it took. I tried about a year (maybe a little more) naturally before going to the dr. The dr found that I was hypo then it took another year to find a decent dr to fix that. I started seeing a new OB (b/c the previous one just wasn't that informed) & we got pg after 6 cycles with his help (we had a m/c though 2 wks ago ). During those 6 cycles, 3 of them were using Clomid & if I hadn't gotten pg after 6 Clomid cycles he would have referred me.

[MamaAnna]

You may want a second opinion from another doctor. Mine started me on Clomid after 11 failed cycles and was going to refer me to an RE if the Clomid didn't work. She said that for women 29 and under the standard is 1 year unless they have a known issue. Issues including things like a missing tube or ovary, a vasectomy reversal, previous treatment for cervical or uterine problems, etc. If a woman is 30 or older then they get a referral after 6 months either way.

[Admin-pattyandthemoos]

((((((((HUGS))))))))))) Were you exclusively breastfeeding the whole time? Breastfeeding can definitely mess up your cycles. I nursed Lyndsey until she was 2 and a half and my cycles didn't get back to normal really until she was weaned. When did you wean your dd? Was it a while ago?

I have also had recurrent miscarriages. I have taken prometrium (progesterone) with all of my pregnancies. I agree that you should have your progesterone levels checked especially if your luteal phase is on the short side.

[Vicki...]

I had always heard it was a year also! I hope things go well though, and sperm test is not too bad, they actually let me take the cup home with a special condom and we were able to collect it at home and take it to the doctor which was so better than dh having to "produce" a sample at the office!

[Mommy2Dakota]

Hey Amanda, I'm so sorry for your loss. I was reading your quote earlier and thought it was very touching. Its such a recent loss too so I really hope you are OK. Whats your next step now?

MamaAnna: I thought that too, about 6mths for older mums-to-be? Although here (UK) I heard they put it to 35 now? When I go back for bloods I am going to try to get my regular doctor.

Pattyandthemoos: Heya! Well I wanted to let my daughter self-wean and she was really into nursing, and I tried stopping night feeds a few times but that was a no-way so we stopped day feeds about 6mths ago and she was on bedtime, morning and maybe once in the night. I was going to go upto her third birthday but my boobs were getting really sore from my ovulation to AF and after trying progesterone cream to no avail breastfeeding seemed the last thing to stop and so it just happened out the blue - and the fact that she accepted it proved she was ready and OK - so its only been like 4 and a half weeks. But last cycle was just 23 days long, with an luteal phase of 8 days. I was gutted cos ttc aside I would AT LEAST expect a few extra days on my LP!
I know its not been long and maybe it will correct itself with more time but I just feel time slipping away and figured I have to get the ball rolling with the docs now (knowing how long treatment can take!).
For a long time I have been torn between wondering if my issue is breastfeeding related (despite seeing others getting pregnant around me whilst BF) and therefore thinking I just need to wait or if there is a problem with ME that is unrelated.
I do think it is progesterone related and had hoped the docs would take my evidence (over a year of charting) but of course they won't prescribve until tests are done.

WVmama: lol, thats what I was told would happen also. He would be given a cup to take home but would have to get it back to the clinic in half an hour! Luckily his docs is literally 2mins walk away from where we live! Just have to get him to go now! To be honest he is more reluctant to give up smoking than give a sperm sample when I thought he would be the other way round, considering he often says he wants to give up, or tries but fails. Now he has a better reason to stick to it!

[~InHisHands~]

Originally Posted by Mommy2Dakota

Hey Amanda, I'm so sorry for your loss. I was reading your quote earlier and thought it was very touching. Its such a recent loss too so I really hope you are OK. Whats your next step now?

Aww, thank you! Well, I just passed my post-op check-up with flying colors yesterday so we wait 2 cycles once AF actually shows & we can try again... so by my estimates we'll be trying again around Oct! I think/hope we will get pg a little easier next time around since with this last one I got pg my first cycle of 100 mg Clomid so I hope that's our magic number & the dr did say you are more fertile after m/c.

Edited to add that I'm actually doing pretty well b/c I know baby is in heaven with Jesus & is waiting on me. Yeah, it's sad to not have him/her here with me but really he/she is in the best place they could be... heaven!

[Mommy2Dakota]

After my miscarriage I didn't get my AF for 8wks, although it varies alot between women and depending how far along you were (I was only 5wks although with my short LP I reckon it was actually less). I hope you catch again quickly! I was very relaxed about ttc until my MC and then I just went into sudden 'MUST GET PREGS AGAIN' mode. I think it was my way of coping, by looking forward rather than backward....but the grief can catch you up. I found mysefl crying and thinking alot about it on the one-year anniversary.
But anyhoo, you sound positive and strong so I really hope it happens again for you! Are you truely going to wait two AF cycles before ttc? I remember reading about it being advised but many women swearing they were more fertile and caught straight away...sorry, I hope thats not too forward of me to be saying?

[~InHisHands~]

I'm def not in a big hurry to get pg though I did think about trying on my own once AF shows just to see if it works. However, I tried for 3 years on my own & notta so I really really doubt we'll get pg without the clomid & I have to wait till the dr will prescribe it for me which is in 2 cycles. So to answer your question I may but doubt it'll be successful.

Oh, & you're not being too forward!

[Mommy2Dakota]

Oh yeah, thats what I mean't. I know you wouldn't get Clomid for two cycles but it would seem odd to use contraception after all this time wouldn't it? Its one positive thing I see with myself as I haven't had to take the pill for 4 and a half years (from ttc my DD) and still won't whilst ttc no2...and if my fertility is as it is I won't even have to after no2 as I WANT a no3 but will not be in a rush and it seems nursing holds my fertility back anyhow and I intend to do another 3yrs nursing or so...so all in all it could be like 10yrs+ without contraception.

I admire your faith in God. I must say I waver at times but do feel that perhaps this is for a reason...lots of reasons. I know that as much as I wanted a child sooner it will be easier now my daughter is older and that I will be able to give no2 as much attention as I gave her.
I named my unborn Rose even though I only knew I was pregnant a week.

[~InHisHands~]

Oh, yeah... def not using contraception & probably won't ever use it again actually. My fertility issues could be a blessing in disguise over the long run... instant BC!

Awww... Rose is a beautiful name! We actually named ours Chris, short for Christopher or Christine since we don't know if it was a he or she. Curious, do you do anything special to remember Rose? I have a charm bracelet with an angel charm on it & I also framed my u/s pic & put it on the mantel with our other family pics to remember Chris. You can see pics here... http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f4...-to-share.html (Just wanted to share...).

I admire your faith in God. I must say I waver at times but do feel that perhaps this is for a reason...lots of reasons.

Thank you! You know, I wasn't always like this. Actually I think it was my fertility issues that the Lord used to draw me back to Him. In the beginning I remember thinking maybe God doesn't want me to have any more children, maybe I'm not good enough. It's been through these issues & really trying to draw close to Him that I have learned incredible faith & how to believe in His promises. I have learned, well, am still learning to be still & just wait on Him (boy, that's hard & I can really be impatient at times ). I believed Him, that I WOULD get pg & I DID! I'm still believing Him for a child, not necessarily getting pg but for a living, breathing baby in my arms! It'll happen, in His time & I just have to wait! *sigh* (like I said, I can be impatient )

I believe it's normal to waver at times... we're human & live in a fallen world. A good Bible study that I think could help you... it helped me tremendously is Beth Moore's Believing God study. This is the study that really solidified my faith & trust in the Lord. I can't say enough about this Bible study... I love it so much & think it is so great that I have already bought the study for 2 friends as a gift. One friend, who was struggling with her marriage, later told me the Bible study saved her marriage & turned her life around. Praise the Lord!

Anyway, I think my book has gotten long enough! Thanks for listening!

[Mommy2Dakota]

Originally Posted by ~InHisHands~

You know, I wasn't always like this. Actually I think it was my fertility issues that the Lord used to draw me back to Him. In the beginning I remember thinking maybe God doesn't want me to have any more children, maybe I'm not good enough. It's been through these issues & really trying to draw close to Him that I have learned incredible faith & how to believe in His promises.

Thats what I have thought. I wonder 'am I so bad?'. I have fought battles to do mothering by my instinct, to nurse longer than most, to co-sleep and give my daughter a solid foundation of love and trust even when it goes against most 'modern' parenting views and yet it seems to have backfired if it is the cause of my infertility. But then I have to think that God and nature designed us this way, that by doing what nature intended my body is following natural-child-spacing. Perhaps. Even though I am trying to counter it....??? But it very hard to just wait and trust.As for Rose: I don't have anything specific. She is just in my heart always and I think of her at Christmas (she 'came out' on Christmas day, onto tissue at home!) and thats enough. I wrote about her and said goodbye in a private post on my Myspace. I also recieved a beautiful poem...iy won't let me post properly here (keeps taking out my paragraphs???) so I'll see if it lets me PM it to you!

[~InHisHands~]

I just PMed you. Let me know if you don't get it!

[Mommy2Dakota]

I did and PM'd back!

[~InHisHands~]

I wanted to let you know that I got your PM & do plan to PM you back but the PM I think may be kinda long... I have so much I want to say! I haven't forgotten, just haven't had time... I am sooooooo busy right now almost to the point of stressing myself out!