[MotherFrog]

Thought I might as well start one, maybe something will come of it.

DH and I've been trying 29 or 30 cycles now and after each cycle comes to an end, I find I'm not as heartbroken as I was maybe cycles 5 or 6. I don't think of myself as infertile, in my odd way of thinking, my system needs a re-boot! When I NTNP during my first marriage, babies came really easy. Now that I actually am wanting to have another (yes, a 6th baby, DH's first) things don't happen the way I want them to.

I went to the Dr last month about it all, I needed my yearly anyway, and he diagnosed me with PCOS. 6 vials of blood were taken and I had and ultrasound done. U/S showed the 'strand of pearls' most (not all) PCOS women have. He said they were not as bad as others he had seen but would wait till my labs came back before starting me on any meds.

Labs came back and some were good but one wasn't. I'm not insulin resistant, so I don't need Metformin and although I still haven't heard back on the results of 3 that had to be sent to the Mayo Clinic for processing, I'm only on one med right now. My prolactin levels came back high. High prolactin can interfere with ovulation, down right stopping it or you gear up for it and little egg doesn't want to come out. So, now I'm on Dostinex. Dostinex is supposed to lower my prolactin levels.

Where does my body make prolactin? Remember during puberty all that talk about the pituitary gland? Well, that's what's responsible for prolactin. A small mass (benign tumor) can cause those levels to raise. Don't worry it's actually more common than you think. It just goes undetected in most cases. Dostinex is supposed to help make that mass go away and lower my levels. If it doesn't work, there is another option. Surgery. No, they are not going to saw off my skull to get it out or anything. If I happen to need it, they simply knock you out and go through your upper lip or nose. Yea, owie is right! The whole mess is located right between your eyes.

Forgive me if I made mistakes here, I'm still learning about the whole thing and if some one sees I've made a mistake, please PM me.

Not really having any side effects from the Dostinex. I do have some mild nausea now and then but I've got acid reflex so that could be the cause of that. Just can't stand up too fast. It's supposed to make you tired or at least that's what the label says but I've not felt drowsy while taking it. Some aggression is normal and (lol it's not female Viagra!) but I've had more interest in a sex life more now than in the past few years. Poor DH! and not just during O time either!

[MotherFrog]

On to this cycle....

It's #29 or 30 and the BFN's don't bother me as much as they used to. I've not tested for this cycle and I don't plan on testing till I'm late. I promised DH no more wasted money. AF is due between the 28-30th. Some months I run 26 days, some months I run 28 days. I've also had 14 day cycles and 42 day cycles. PCOS! So I promised to not test till I'm a week late and that's some where around the 7th.

I think I may have O'd around the 13th. It was the only time my CP was SHOW (soft, high, open, and wet) I didn't really have any signs of EWCM at all this month but maybe a pea sized amount and not when my CP was where it should be. So I'm maybe 7 DPO if I did O.

The only things I'm feeling is a little crampy achy in my tummy, boobs are a little sore and I'm a little tired. Got a nasty taste in my mouth too. I can break all these symptoms down too.

Crampy = could be gassy, been having more BM's lately
Boobs are sore = some times they are sore before AF. Sometimes really bad but then other months they don't hurt at all.
Tired = Maybe it's the Dostinex? I have insomnia bad some nights and my allergies have been flaring lately.
Nasty taste = I know I have a bad tooth that needs to come out, don't think that's it but acid reflux can give you a nasty taste in your mouth and it can make you belch a lot too.

Nothing really unusual this month. Except my CP is still really high but if I remember correctly, it was like that a few cycles back and nothing resulted of it.

We'll see.

[MotherFrog]

Another strange day here on the pond. Still kinda crampy and for the past few days I've had some really thin kinda ewcm. Strange. CP is still high but hard and if its O, which I doubt, I can't BD as John is off at work.

Had to break out the ginger ale and Maalox today the nausea was bad enough for it. I just feel..... BLAH! I might go back to bed even though I slept all day.

[Im.Nayomi]

i so love the frog theme that you are going with her on J.M. i hope you get your this cycle.

[MotherFrog]

Thank you hun, I love my froggies.

Still icky feeling. Nauseated beyond belief and the cramps I've got aren't letting up but they aren't any worse. Feels like I gotta pee really bad but I don't.

I think I got a second line on a FRER today but I'm not totally sure. Why is it when I want to get pregnant I can't and when I'm not too interested in having another one, I'm pregnant? Mind you I was like that 10 years ago.

[MotherFrog]

Today's update.

I HATE HPT'S! or is it they hate me?

AF has gone MIA! Not that I really want her to visit BUT my digi said not pregnant. A little frustrating. The witch is going on a week late. BFP still eludes me. CM has increased again and boobs are sensitive now and then. I know better though. It could be AF or it could be pregnancy related. No telling. Only thing I can do is hang out in the land of limbo till my body decides to make up it's mind...................

..........I hope it's soon!

[MotherFrog]

getting mad

where is my BFP?!?!

[MotherFrog]

Now 8 days late. and no BFP.

Back ache, some cramps, gassy, constipated, boobs falling out of my bra. Hungry! AF might be on her or I may be pregnant. I don't think AF is coming ever.

CP is still low, long, and firm. Walls have stayed firm for the most part except the bladder side which has gotten soft. Was pretty wet down there for nearly 24 hours but I'm not now. Bubbly tummy, pretty noisy down there. Drinking about the same amount of fluids but not peeing as much as I used to. Not much urine at all but going more frequently.

John thinks I'm being really mean and cranky lately about nothing. I gagged while changing out the garbage bag, never do that.

What is going on?

Maybe another test is in order.

[MotherFrog]

Ok let's see if orgasm brings the witch here! I've got EWCM, don't know if that means anything and I've got cramps. er kinda, no different from what I've had for weeks now.

Yesterday I had a few sharp pinches in that general area, no clue what that's about.

blah blah blah

[MotherFrog]

No witch!

Had white stringy ewcm like cm lately. Did a CP check and OMG it's rock hard! WTheck?!? Oh and my boobs started leaking!

I don't think the witch is coming and I still hate HPT"S!

[MotherFrog]

beta in the ER today
BFN
I give up...


.... for now.

[mommy jenn]

hi, just want to post here so i can follow. lol
I know that IS can cause cyst which cause unnecessary long LPs because the linger...

[MotherFrog]

AF finally arrived November 9th. 12 days late.
Prolactin level check November 13th (a month of Dostinex) revealed my level dropped to almost nothing!

Normal prolactin range 4.8-23.3
First draw 32.4 (prolactin too high, failure to ovulate)
Dostinex 30 days (0.25 mg 2 times a week)
Second draw 0.2 (almost no prolactin, unsure of ovulation, possible failure)

Before I had my levels rechecked, I decided to self medicate this cycle.
Soy Isoflavones CD 3-8
B6

We'll see how it goes. I am not happy about this cycle!

[hopeful3853]

i'm sorry, motherfrog. hoping you and your doctor can solve the problem really soon so you can get on with your

[MotherFrog]

Thanks you hun.

I did manage to figure out what's been causing my constant nausea, have had it for weeks now. Seems I have indigestion! Prilosec and Maalox have been added to my new regimen.

[MotherFrog]

Hhmm strange morning. I think I'm coming down with a bug, my horoscope said I would recover from a cold soon and also said something I've been working on that's important will pay off? Huh? I've not been working very much.

Anyway, showing some fertile signs today I think. I've got increased CM but my CP is low and very hard. Maybe soon.

Tomorrow is my last day for Soy Isoflavones but I'm going to continue with the B6 for now. I want to see if it helps with PMS like it's rumored to.

[MotherFrog]

Stopped taking SI on Sunday instead of Monday. Only supposed to take it 5 days and I guess I can't count!

Today I'm showing even more fertile signs. I got EWCM! On CD 9 of all days! I've always though I O'd early. CP isn't quite there yet but it's getting there. Got some pinching on my right side and things are pretty well lubed on their own. Might have to jump DH today just in case! 3-4 times a week should do lol!

My current theory for SI and the B6.
I do have increased CM, much more than I've ever had. Not sure if it's going to delay O but I've read posts on how it brings the O date forward too. Depends on the woman I suppose.

Waiting on the clinic to call me back and explain my prolactin levels to me. The main reason I am mad about the whole thing, is no one called and explained anything to me. It doesn't matter if it's good or bad at this point, it's just no one did anything and left me hanging for 5 days. This does not help stress at all.

[MotherFrog]

UPDATE! 11/17 3 pm
Had to call them AGAIN!!! Finally I got the info!
My prolactin levels are too low now but since I do have prolactin issues, I have to stay on the meds but only take it once a week, not twice like I had been told when I started them.
First dose was too high and that's what killed my prolactin. On a lower dose, my levels should fix themselves. This is pretty frustrating. Wanna know when my next level check is?
3 freaking months! Just after Valentine's Day.
I also have to find a new Dr as mine is leaving. I can see the female Dr who is highly sought after, she's in the same clinic so I don't have to really transfer.
I can continue to TTC BUT if I do happen to get a BFP I am to call them ASAP!

I'm ok now, all I needed to know they told me today, why they had to wait so long to tell me is stupid.

[MotherFrog]

Some cramps today, EWCM, and all that.

[MotherFrog]

John and I had it out today. Sometime a really good fight can do the relationship some good. Some how we've become roommates that have sex instead of a loving married couple that makes love. I don't know what happened. I had to have it out with him, I'm lonely and I hate living this way. I think he understands now, we had a long talk afterwards, made some compromises and some new agreements. I told him I miss him, he said he's right here, I asked him if he remembered what it was like when we were dating and when we first got married. Finally he understood. We've gotten into this rut and it's pretty deep. He understands my depression now. He understands that I'm upset about my body not working the way it was designed, not being able to find a job, and having to sit at home alone all day. He does know that depression is causing my health issues like the colds and all the aches and pains, including my head aches and tension. He finally understands!

Me on the other hand. I know I have problems. I need to quit asking him to do everything and anything. I used to be too independent but when I first fell in love with him, I felt I never had to do anything and he made sure I never had to do anything. I took advantage of it and he let me. It's more my fault though. I'm not the same person I used to be before I met him but I don't want to be her again. Too independent but not letting anyone get close. He's broken down walls, that I thought I'd never let any one through. If I want to be the SAHM, I need to start being one now, not after we have a baby. Meaning, I need to do my share of the house work and I'll admit I do almost nothing now. That needs to change right this minute.

We've agreed to change a few things here at home. He's not going to rag on me for not working since he understands that jobs are scarce around here and he doesn't want me to have to go who knows where to get a job. Purse strings are going to be even tighter because he wants me to stay with him. I don't want to have to go away to a larger city to find a job. We are not that bad off financially but we need to watch our spending more.

John's agreed to help me prepare the house as if we were already pregnant. He actually likes this idea. No it's not getting a nursery put together, it's getting the entire house including the garage reorganized. We've agreed that the way we've let things slide around here, it's not a great place for a baby. Neither one of us like running around at the last minute changing things. He hates change and I'm not a big fan of it. I think we need to organize us before we bring another baby home. Neither one of us know where to start. Change doesn't come easy to us.

We also made a decision on TTC. Since my prolactin levels are interfering with my ovulation, we are moving to NTNP. The med for my prolactin issue is something I might have to be on for the rest of my life. We can't control every little aspect of our lives and yes, we tend to be control freaks. We've decided to let nature (and Dostinex) take it's course. If we get pregnant, we get pregnant. If we don't, we don't. There isn't much we can do at this point until my levels figure themselves out. My next level check isn't until just after Valentine's Day and I hate having to wait that long but it's out of my hands. We've agreed that if nothing happens by then, whether it's pregnancy or controlling my levels, we'll see what other options are available to us to get the levels under control.

I'm not really a religeous person but at this point, it's in God's hands, not ours.

John and I came to another agreement. If we do get pregnant I of course have to stop the Dostinex but you can't breast feed and take it either. As long as I'm not having any problems caused by the mass on my pituitary gland, I'm not taking the Dostinex for at least 6 months. I want to breast feed my baby and I've handled high levels for who knows how many years now, so 6 months minimum of dealing with high levels again sounds fair. But we've agreed to see how it goes, it's not something definite.

Right now the only issue I have with no prolactin is my temper. All I'll say is I walked away. I'm not sure if this is any better than being on Prednizone.

It's amazing how something the size of a pea can control your entire life.