[trying41more]

i had a dream 2 nights ago.. that i had my 2nd baby.. and i had totally forgotten about them... like i was so busy with Gracie.. then all of a sudden i had a baby about a year old.. and i didnt remember having her(i think the baby was a baby girl.) but i just knew it was my child.. and i kept wondering why i couldnt remember when i had her.. and why i forgot about her.

[Mommy2Dakota]

Awww!

I don't know what it might mean? Maybe that Gracie has needed you more over the last year and thats why you haven't had another. Gods way of saying you (or she) wasn't ready yet. At least, thats what I sometimes think...even though I wanted another one much sooner I do know my daughter wouldn't have been ready for a sibling before now! She's quite demanding and likes being no1.

[trying41more]

hmm.. i never thought of it like that before.. but that does make sense.. I have really enjoyed my many years of having Gracie a lone.. and the one on one time I have had with her.. its very special.. sometimes I wonder how I would ever love another baby as much as I love Gracie.. but I know I will..When we do have our 2nd baby Gracie will be in school.. and I will get my one on one time with the new baby.

[Mommy2Dakota]

yeah I used to think that too. I did so much with Dakota, talking to her about everything and anything when we were out, teaching her colours and numbers and shapes and body part names etc...you know, all the things they learn so fast in the first couple of years and I loved it but I would wonder if I would have the energy to do as much again! It was like I gave 110% of my time and attention, but not with huge effort. It just happened naturally....but at the same time would feel like going back to square one if a no2 had come.

I don't feel that now! Dakota needs me less than she did and we don't do as much educational things - she wants to do make-believe play more these days - so I do feel ready to start afresh with a new baby!
I'm just waiting for my body to catch up with that fact and stop holding me back!

We do still co-sleep though and I sometimes wonder if having her in close contact all night sends my body a signal that I still have a needy baby or something? Although a forum friend of mine got pregs just fine whilst breastfeeding and co-sleeping when her daughter was just like 16mths old or so.

[trying41more]

yea.. just like Gracie.. she doesnt need me as much.. since shes almost 5.. but now she will be more of a helper.. and i know she is ready to be a sister.. but i can agree about not having another one when ur first one needs u for every little thing.. eating..changing diapers..dressing.. etc.. some people can do it.. havin babies back to back.. the only way i would do 2 babies at once is if i had twins.

[Mommy2Dakota]

Dakota actually done a little prayer to God last night asking Him to 'give mummy a baby in her tummy'.

It started off, at bedtime, with her saying she has a heart inside (pointing to her chest) and then she said 'And I have a little egg in my tummy' so I explained yes she does but they're not ripe yet until she is an adult. She says "and then they grow and grow into a baby! You got a baby in your tummy!" and I say "no, not yet" and she says "I want you to have another baby!" so I said "you'll have to ask God...and yeah, so after a hundred questions about 'who and what is God and why can't she see Him, she did!

[BornAgainRenee]

How Sweet Jo!

Those dreams are always a little disturbing. I have them sometimes too.

I will say that you don't have to worry at all about your love and how far it will stretch. Its amazing how far it goes!!

[trying41more]

aw.. thats sweet .. shes a thinker.. just like Gracie.. Gracie asks me all the time if theres a baby in my belly yet.. and i told her no.. not yet.. then she goes.. aw..yes there is.. and i tell her.. no.. if there was a baby in mommys belly i would tell u.. i just know she will love it when i tell her when i finally do

[Mommy2Dakota]

Originally Posted by BornAgainRenee

I will say that you don't have to worry at all about your love and how far it will stretch. Its amazing how far it goes!!

Oh I don't know...of course I hope so...but I must admit when D was born I felt strange to hub. Before, we were together 24/7 (worked together and everything) and then I had to stay in hospital a week with Dakota and when I looked at hub he suddenly seemed like a stranger! We had quite a rough first year and I did feel like I transferred the intense love I had for him completely to D?
Things have very slowly got better but i do worry about the same happening with no2 (although at least 2nd time round we know our difficulties are temporary). But worse if I suddenly feel distant from D too!

But I think not...hopefully.

[BornAgainRenee]

Originally Posted by Mommy2Dakota

Oh I don't know...of course I hope so...but I must admit when D was born I felt strange to hub. Before, we were together 24/7 (worked together and everything) and then I had to stay in hospital a week with Dakota and when I looked at hub he suddenly seemed like a stranger! We had quite a rough first year and I did feel like I transferred the intense love I had for him completely to D?
Things have very slowly got better but i do worry about the same happening with no2 (although at least 2nd time round we know our difficulties are temporary). But worse if I suddenly feel distant from D too!

But I think not...hopefully.

Oh no, I meant with the next baby, not with dh. He is on his own...LOL!!
I don't have any stronger feelings of love toward any of my kids. It just keeps on stretching.

[Mommy2Dakota]

OH OK, kid love not DH love! lol

Well, I figure we can reaquaint ourselves and be 'just us' again after we've had our kids and they're old enough to look after themselves so yeah, he is on the 'back burner' for a little while. I think he gets that now and understands...but just one reason its so hard that this is taking so long and why I really can't 'afford' relationship wise to go throught this 'wanting' a third time.