[MountainMomma]

I just need to vent for a minute. I don't really even need anyone to reply. I just need to vent. I am very near the end of my TTC journey. Just because I don't have the strength to do this anymore. March makes 4 years of constant TTC. (none of my pregnancies have made is past 5 weeks, so no breaks there even.) I am so tired and I just need to be done.

The frustration comes from seeing one person after another after another end up pregnant when they aren't ready, aren't prepared, aren't capable...... just shouldn't be parents! Why do people who have no means to support a baby, people who are on drugs or drunks, or in bad relationships or whatever able to have baby after baby, but Matt and I can't. We own our home, we are completely self sufficient. We aren't receiving any aid (not that there is anything wrong with that.... been there before) other than medicaid for my kids because my ex won't insure them and Matt's company won't do it because of a court order stating my ex has too. We have a great support system. We have lots of love to give, and would give ANYTHING to have a baby and still can't. I am just sick of it.

We are nearing the 4 year mark, and have had 7 losses. You would *think* that maybe people would start realizing that there was a real problem, that this was really difficult for us, and that it's time to stop making jokes about it, but NO! At our Thanksgiving dinner, there were comments about Matt not being "man enough" to get me pregnant. They made flippant remarks about "can't they just do a surgery or something and make you pregnant that way" or "why don't you have the doctors knock you up" or my favorite, "maybe you should have them check and see if there is something wrong with you". Gee, what do they think the surgery I had, the trips back and forth to the RE, the TONS and TONS of bloodwork and thousands of dollars in doctors bills were for?!? I explained that it was extremely expensive to do IVF and they said "So get another job". Never mind the mental cost of IVF. Never mind the stress it puts on your body. Never mind the fact that we have already been doing this for FOUR VERY LONG YEARS! Just a shrug and a "You must not be trying hard enough" immediately followed by a "you just need to relax and then it will happen." Both of those comments came from the same person, one literally right after the other. Seriously? If I am not trying hard enough, why should I "relax". One would think that wouldn't be an issue if I am not trying hard enough. And if I do need to "relax" one might also assume that I am certainly "trying hard enough" so how could those statement possibly both be true?!?
GAH! I swear, with "supportive" and loving family like this, it's a good thing I don't have to deal with unsupportive people on a regular basis!

Okay, vent over. For now anyway! lol

[BornAgainRenee]

Awww Stephanie, IM sorry!! I know how hard it can be. Im not to 4 years yet, but we are fastly approaching it. And the losses, I don't have 7 but even one is enough when you want a baby, and the more you have the more frustrating it is and the more you feel like there is something wrong with you. I know I feel like a death trap. Most people would be thrilled just with a bfp, I am not. I get that feeling of excitement but I also get a feeling of dread. Since my latest loss was 20 wk I know that I wont even feel remotely comfortable untill I am past that and on my way to viability. I mean right now I feel like if I could just get to 27 weeks then I will feel more relaxed. Of course then I worry about stillbirth, because everything else has happened why not that too. Ok now that I have totally robbed your vent! Im sorry!!

I believe that family and close friends sometimes are your worst enemy when it comes to ttc. I don't even discuss it with mine. I mean with Kevin's kids he isn't even going to tell them when we get pg because of the horrible reaction last time. So they will find out either through the grape vine or when I really start to show. My family is better but my Mom still says things like, I hope you don't get pg again. What do I say to that?

You have us here to support you! We love you and we are more then happy to hear your vents and to take the punches!

[~InHisHands~]

I soooooo know how you feel (not the negative remarks or recurrent m/c's but everything else)! Galatians 4:22-23: So Tired of This

I'm so sorry about the negative remarks... as Christ-like as I try to be I think I'd have to go off on them... sorry but I would. I would tell them respectfully but sternly & they'd KNOW I'm not happy. I think I'd just leave. If they can't treat you like a person, don't give them the time of day. I'm so sorry... I just went on a vent there. Regardless of your decision though, know I'm here for you!

[MarieJ]

I don't know what else to say, but offer you some ((hugs)) I've been there, secondary infertility is a painful journey. I am sorry that you have to deal with these comments.

[Mommy2Dakota]

Heya! Sorry I am late here...I did actually forget we have a Hiding Place what with the Weight loss board up as well.

Just want to say I know exactly what you mean with the remarks and the watching others get pregnant easily or even when they didn't want to.

These comments are so insensitive, although I guess for the most part they come from ignorance to the pain we face every cycle and frustration of not being able to achieve this one 'simple' thing that most take for granted.

*hugs*