[marilyp]

A little about my Infertility Journey: I had been off of birth-control since my daughter Erin was about a year old (2001). We were just being careful around my fertile time. That is not supposed to be that reliable of a method. It worked for us for 5 years. We decided to start trying in 2005 after a year of no luck, in 2006 I went to my OB, and he put me on letrazol. After 6 months on that medicine and no luck he referred me to an RE.

The first Dr. I saw was Dr. W. He examined me and sent me for an HSG and ordered blood work and a Semen analysis for my DH. His semen analysis was on the low side of normal and all my results were normal except I had elevated androgen levels. Dr. W. was supposed to bring us back in for a follow-up to discuss our options. Instead, he sent me a cold letter telling me our problem was basically my weight and that he would be glad to help me once I got my weight into a certain range. I was 190 at the time but I attribute that to depression from not being able to get pregnant. I weighed 165 in 2005 when we first started trying on our on to get pregnant, but I do not think he even took that into consideration. I was so hurt by his letter. I wasted a year after that appt. trying to lose weight. It was so hard because I am a stress eater and my job was very stressful. I was also terribly depressed because I wanted a baby so badly.

I met a lady one day that was going through IVF at the same clinic with Dr. K. She was by no means a thin girl. I was shocked that she didn't receive the same cold treatment and was accepted into the IVF program. I made an appointment for the following week with Dr. K. By that time I had managed to get down to about 185. My 1st appt. with him, he told me that my weight was fine and that it was fine a year earlier when I saw Dr. W. He also said that he wished I would have come to see him instead. I was almost sick that I had wasted a year on count of that Jack ***** Dr. W.

I did two unsuccessful rounds of IUI"S before Dr. K. recommended I try IVF. He said that he did not think our problem had anything to do with me or my weight. He said that although my husband's SA was in the low normal range, he thought his semen were to weak to penetrate the eggs. He said that ICSI would fix the problem. So we ventured down the path of IVF a little over a year ago
(1/08/2009). I got my positive beta on February 16th 2009.

[Mommy2Dakota]

Hey and welcome!

I can't believe that Dr W!!! Grrr...!

Anyhoo, I know what you mean about weight issues. I weigh now the same as when I was fully pregs with my daughter (163lbs). I too put it down to being too depressed to really concentrate on losing weight...but I also see loads of 'bigger-than-me' women getting pregs and I just don't know what is causing my problem (I ovulate but have LPD caused from low progesterone). The docs won't give me any help until my hub has his sperm tested but he just won't! He promises he'll do other things instead (give up smoking) but I can't get MY help. grr so frustrating!
Anyhoo..sorry....I am really stressed out over this right now!

Welcome to the board (again). Its pretty quiet but [hopefully] just temporarily!

[BornAgainRenee]

Hi!!! Welcome!! Im Renee the co-host here, we don't have another co-host right now. I am married to Kevin and have 5 children. We have had 3 miscarriages and one 20 week loss. We have been trying since July of 2006 after our first surprise bfp and miscarriage. Its been a rough road and Im tired from it, but Im not ready to quit.
I have had testing done and everything is in working order for me. DH wont go get a SA done so if he is low we wont know.
Looking forward to getting to know you, we are a pretty tight group of girls here, and love to have new ones come along!!

[marilyp]

Hi BornAgainRenee & Mommy2Dakota, Thank-you for the warm welcome! I hope I am responding in the right place. I am still trying to figure things out. I know how you both feel. I went through so many different emotions. I could not understand what was wrong with me. I felt broken! I also didn't feel like people understood why I was so depressed because “I already had children".

Both of you mentioned having trouble getting your husbands to go for testing, that is tough. I am sure you are frustrated but try to understand how embarrassing it must feel to have to bring his little cup back from a little room and hand it to a lab tech that knows what he just did.

At the clinic I went to the men had to bring it out into the lab where other women were getting their blood drawn. YIKES! There would be no way I would even be able to have an O under those circumstances. The pressure would be too much. Also men that have fathered a child will be more reluctant to go because they don't think there is anything wrong with them. In my husbands case although he had fathered a child our fertility issues were with his semen. Apparently the conception of our daughter was by chance! Even after those findings my hubby still tried to talk me out of it by saying if we just KEEP trying....... I was tired of "TRYING" It obviously wasn"t working. I wanted help.

I felt sorry for my husband and was so thankful that he went through all that for me. I offered to go with him to "help" him. That way we would face everyone together. After a couple times, he chose to go alone. He just explained that it added to the pressure. I did not understand and I was hurt, but I did not pry. I just did my best to understand and know that he was doing it for me.

You could ask the clinic if you could bring the sample from home. If you do that, you have to be able to get the sample to them within a certain time frame. You would also have to keep it body temperature by placing it in your bra. Of course this method would not give the most accurate results but it is an option.

I know it is hard, but don't give up hope. Try to find a good RE. I wouldn't waste time with an OBGYN. After years of infertility, there was a time I thought I would never see another + pregnancy test again. I now have 4 month old twins.

-Marilyn

[Mommy2Dakota]

Thanks marilyn! I do understand totally how hard it must be to 'produce' a test like that! Although my first doc said we would do it at home then bring it in ...and I already told hub I would do it so he needn't face any people or anything. Although the last nurse I saw whilst having my blood test said he would do it AT the hospital and in a little room. Guess he won't know until he see's his GP about it.

Thing is, our daughter wasn't easy either. It took us 16mths ttc with her (which admittadly seems like a short time now!). But something has always been wrong with my cycles. Back then they were too long..and now they're too short (or, at least, my luteal phase is short).

We did do a home sperm test and it *looked* OK. I mean, you get a colour chart and it was top of the good range. I thought that would give him confidence in getting a proper test.

We'll just have to see I guess. He's made me order Progesterone online so I can at least know that my cycles WILL be 'correct' for two cycles. I'm not sure its gonna come in time for this cycle? But if still nothing? I guess he will have run out of excuses!!!