I can't seem to find a place to fit in. Well here is a bit about me, My name is Michelle I am happily married to Leo, and mommy to Madison (5) Caden (3) and Alanna (11 mths). My oldest 2 children are from my previous marriage and my last is with my husband. I had to have a c-section with all 3 pregnancies and with my last they had to do a tubal because they said it is too dangerous for me to carry again due to my uterus thinning and the scaring.
Anyway, at the time I was so consumed with a newborn that I hadn't had time to greive and now it is really starting to effect me. I keep having dreams of being pregnant again, lately they have been almost every night. And I wake up and it hits me that I wont ever be able to have that experience that again. Sometimes I can help but cry and no one understands. Every one thinks that 3 is a lot already and i am crazy to want another child and while I feel extremely blessed with my 3 angels, it is still really really hard.Sometimes I think about how I can't give my husband another child of his own and it breaks my heart. He treats my children like his own and he is wonderful with them and he tells me all the time that he is happy with just Alanna but I know deep down he wants another child. It kills me that I can't give that to him. Sometimes I think about it all and cry and no one understands what I am going through. I feel selfish because I should just count my blessings and get over it and while I am soooo thankful for my children I just don't feel like our family is complete!
Like I said, I don't know if I actually fit in this catagory but I think this is the closest place and I don't know where else to go.
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I don't know if I actually belong here but
I'm so sorry you've gone through all of this. Have you sought counseling at all? You have a lot of huge changes to deal with and some sort of counseling may work wonders at helping you through it.
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