[Jacobbbsmommy]

I keep trying to convince myself that it will be okay if I have another baby or not. That what is meant to be is meant to be. But I feel like i'm lying to myself. Every time I look at my son he is getting older and reminding me more and more how badly I want a second (and a third) child. I just know I was meant to be a mom in this life and yet I feel like I've got the short end of the rope or something. Where are my babies?!
I see pregnant women everywhere and every one of them makes me feel instantly jealous and sad. I am so sick of feeling this way. It is getting to a bad place were I feel depressed every day now about it and I just don't know how to shake myself out of this. Any suggestions would be welcomed... I just feel like I'm depriving my son now because of the mood I am in all the time now and I feel so bad about it. I keep wanting to stop 'trying' but every time I just get MORE anxious and feel worse for still secretly wanting to 'try'. I know this is overload probably for a JM post, I dont know. But I had to get it out somewhere. Sorry

[MountainMomma]

I totally get how you feel. I am very much in the same place. I don't really have any advice because I still feel that way. I'm sorry that you feel that way. I really hope that you get your BFP very soon. I know how difficult TTC, espectially for a long time, can be.

[~InHisHands~]

I completely understand. Infertility is a long, hard, & often lonely road. The ONLY way I have survived myself is the Lord. Without Him I would have given up & probably become clinically depressed a long time ago.

[Jacobbbsmommy]

thanks stephanie and i completely agree with you amanda. thank god for my somewhat sanity i have left! i have been trying to stay away from this website all together caz it really feeds into alot of my depression but i keep getting sucked back into it so please excuse me if i disappear for a few days at a time. hope everyone is well and doin ok. i'm at CD29 now and my cycles have lasted 40 days for past three months so i guess i got a few more days of waiting...

[Minilegs]

I am coming from nowhere as I don't know your particular trial but, there is hope! I just turned 35, my daughter will be 4 in December and it took me 19 mos to get pregnant with my second. I lost that one at 11 weeks but, wasn't discouraged. I decided to do clomid to get my cycles on track because for the most part I was ovulating but, I did have long cycles and couldn't gauge when I would ovulate. I also was having a problem with fertile CM so I used preseed lubricant and conceived on the first months try.

The only thing you have real control of is checking your cycles, etc. I know how you feel about not being able to have another and feeling like your child is growing up without a sibling, etc. Eat right, try to do your best to stay positive, and when it's time it will happen. You have a beautiful child!