[wishfulgal]

Hi! I have been lurking here for awhile. At times it seems pretty slow in here, but I could use some help and support so I am just jumping in here.

I am 26 and my DH is 30. We've been married for close to 3 years now. We have an amazing 18-month old son. We have never prevented and got pregnant with our son 6 months after we got married. 6 months isn't *that* long to have to try, but I was getting kind of worried that something was wrong with one or both of us. We tried preseed, mucinex and Vitamin B6 that cycle and I finally got pregnant. I didn't think we would ever be the most fertile couple, I never imagined we wouldn't be able to have more children. DH and I have always dreamed of a big family (5-6 kids...however many God would give us, really) and living in the country.

We never prevented after our son and were hoping to have our kids 18-24 months apart. We would have been fine with closer together, but AF was a no-show due to breastfeeding until I weaned our son when he was 10 months old. Then we were super excited to add to our family and started TTC hardcore (OPKs, charting,mucinex, preseed, everything we tried the cycle we got pregnant and more). We were only a few cycles into it when I just had a really bad feeling that something was wrong... I knew it just wasn't going to happen. I was convinced it was me and that I have endometeriosis. I have sciatic pain before AF (very weird). My doctor was sure everything was fine with me, I got pregnant "too easily" before for anything to be majorly wrong. After 6 cycles of perfectly timed BDing and no BFP, DH volunteered to be tested.

The results were absolutely heartbreaking . 1.3 million sperm/ml with 36% motility on the first SA, 3.2million/ml with 36% motility on second SA. There are supposed to be at least 20 million/ml and 50% motility. IVF is the only option with counts like that. It's crazy how when the woman has issues there is so much they can do and try, but when it is the man who has a severe problem, it's pretty much over before any treatment begins. We were beyond devastated. I LOVED being pregnant, giving birth, being a mom. To basically be told that it will never happen again was awful. I felt like I couldn't breathe. Sometimes (a month after getting the news) I still feel that way.

DH was referred to a urologist who specializes in fertility. He did find a grade 2 varicocele and we are going ahead and having the surgery in September. The urologist seemed convinced that DH's count was a lot higher when we conceived our son just over 2 years ago. Our only hope is that this surgery will allow his counts to go back up. It is supposed to take 3-6 months to see improvement after the surgery. If the counts are no better at that time, we will begin the adoption process. It's really not something we are financially ready for at this point, and basically our dreams of having a home in the country will go out the window if we adopt, but we want another child (several, actually) and to give our son a sibling more than anything in the world .

I'm starting to dread leaving the house b/c it seems like I always run into someone who asks when we are going to have another one. You'd think people would figure it out since DH and I made it no secret that we wanted a bigger family....but no, they keep asking. I guess it never occurs to them that some people have no choice. I'm surrounded by people who can plan their children's birth right down to the month. It's not fair.

We are trying to trust God to make some sense out of this. I'm not going to lie, though....it is very hard not for me to be bitter and angry about it.

I'm sorry this is so long...looking forward to getting to know you all better!

[MamaAnna]

I never know what to say on anything like this right now. I'm Anna (26) and my particular causes of secondary infertility are PCOS and Adenomyosis. We've been very fortunate in medical assistance working for us and I truly hope that his surgery can remedy your DH's problems. Have you also checked out the TTC with Male Infertility board? They may have some unique information about his procedure and problem.

[wishfulgal]

Thanks Yes, I am also on the TTC with MFI board.

[MountainMomma]

Welcome to the board. I'm Stephanie. I have two kids from my first marriage. DH and I tried for 4+ years to have a child together. It hasn't worked though. I'm sorry that you are having trouble with getting pregnant. It's such a stressful, painful, heartbreaking thing.

It is pretty slow around here alot of the time, but the ladies here are very supportive. I look forward to getting to know you better. I really hope that the surgery improves your husbands counts and that your stay here is short and sweet.

[~InHisHands~]

HUGE It is such a struggle! I'm Amanda, BTW, wife to Mike & mom to Austin (14, from a previous marriage) & an angel. We've been TTC for 4+ years for our first together here too.

I'm sure you already know about this but I was wondering if they thought Clomid would help your DH? Probably not but it might be worth checking out if you have never checked into that before.

It can be so hard waiting on the Lord's timing but He will provide... in one way or another, He will provide. Trust me, I've been there... crying at His feet, begging Him to allow us to get pg. I'm so sorry you are going through this too.

[SavaAngel]

Hey - I remember you from the TTC 6+ months board. I am sorry you are dealing with this news. I wouldn't completely give up hope yet. You have your son, so something worked before - maybe it will work again. I hope things look up after your DH's surgery. I would also ask about the clomid - I have heard it works with men too.

It took us over two years to get pregnant and we were a infertility conundrum. DH has good numbers (70ish million/ml and somewhere over 50% motility) and I have PCOS but no other problems. I actually ovulate every month too - I just have cysts on my ovaries as well. We got pregnant with our son while NTNP and were stumped at why we couldn't get pregnant again. I had just about given up and we were waiting to pay off some more debt in order to move on to IUI even though our religion doesn't approve.

I keep trying to remind myself of that song "Gods Unanswered Prayers." He doesn't always answer our prayers when we want him to. For some reason, God knew we couldn't handle another child so close in age to our first. We might not agree, but He knows best. Another song that will probably make you cry, but might give a little piece of mind is Kellie Coffey's I would die for that - here is the youtube video: YouTube - I Would Die For That She actually had infertility problems and ended up concieving in the end.