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My son and I went to the library last night to bring back some books and check more out. As I was checking my books out the librarian (whose name I don't even know but I do go there pretty often and talk to her quite a bit, but still) said, "So...when are you going to have another one?" I was so taken aback (can't a girl even go to the library without discussing her reproductive plans anymore?) that I just said, "Ummm...as soon as we can." She kind of gave me a weird look... I guess she was expecting me to say something about my son keeping me plenty busy or something. It really floors me how people can't figure out that not everyone can have a baby whenever they want...and that the fact that you have one (or two or five) doesn't neccesarily mean you can just have another whenever you want to. We're living proof of that
__________________ Joyful Mama to 2 Sweet little boys
Completely agree. I just started a new job last month, and it is astounding the # of ppl who ask me when we are going to have another one, or some even say, "Well you better get on it." Really? NO kidding!! I always tell them that We've been trying for a while.
I used to get comments on a regular basis from DS's daycare teachers on how much he loves babies & he really wants a brother or sister ... and since initially we hadn't started TTC #2, I'd just smile politely and say we'll see. Unfortunately though after I had m/c and the comments kept coming, it became very tough to hear ... and left me wishing that these women could show a bit more sensitivity?!
You know.... I guess that is the "advantage" to my situation.....if there is one. I used to get those comments alot, especially after DH and I first got married. Since my children are older, and we've been together for over 5 years now, people are just starting to assume that we don't want more I guess. That or they've caught on to the fact that there are problems. We just don't get those questions anymore.
People really do need to be more sensitive about those types of questions though. I think part of it has to do with a lack of awareness. I personallyh had never even heard of secondary infertility until I found myself dealing with it.
I, too, get tired of it. My own family members who know our situation still say things like that. We even got a gag gift for Christmas w/ candles and love song cd. Everyone thought it was funny when it was really hurtful. Some say I am too sensitive about it but until you've been there....you'll never understand