[gypsyrose02]

Hi everyone. I think this is the board for me.
I have 2 beautiful kids, an 11yr old son and a 9yr old daughter. Loves of my life. But I have to share them with their father (and their step mother who loves to give me a hard time). Up until 6 months ago i only saw them every second weekend. I fought in court for joint (which I won), but in the past years my ex and his partner decided to move them further away from me. So even though Ive won joint (which has taken everything we own) Im travelling for 3 hours everyday to take them to and from school. This is a huge stress on our finances, but we somehow manage to find that money. I have my kids more now and thats all that matters. The rest we will figure out. I still cry when they are away from me though.
My soulmate and I have been TTC for 2 years now. We have had tests and ive had exploratory surgery to which we have been told that everything is perfect for us to conceive naturally. But 2 years later and 3 failed IUI's later (which should have worked first time apparently) Im at a loss. They doc is talking about IVF. There is no money for this and im petrified. We are still trying on our own, but Im getting paranoid now. Everytime I go to the bathroom, I think im seeing things that arent really there.
My positive outlook and strength are disappearing. I thought I would have a toddler running around now. I just so desparatley want a child that I dont have to give back, that I can cuddle whenever I want.
We have had real bad luck over the last 2 years with this and our finances. (when i got joint custody, I lost my job because of the travelling and im finding it very hard to find another - for the same reason). We deserve something good to happen to us.
Well thats my story. Im sorry to blurt everything out on our first meeting but ive been so emotional of late. Just cant cop a break. I feel ive found people here who will understand. That wont sit there and say - she's talking about that again - and role their eyes.

[LindsayGriff]

Welcome to the board. It is pretty slow. My name is Lindsay and I have a 3 yr old son. He came so easily on one night of not protecting and now that we are actually trying, it didn't happen so easily. I went through all the tests thinking it was me and everything was normal so we had DH checked. We didn't think for the life of us that anything would be wrong since our 1st came so easily but we found out he has a varicocele and we have to have surgery and then wait. We are not candidates for IUI's as his count is too low so if the surgery doesn't work, we have to go for IVF. The only reason I can remain calm about the whole process is that I am a resident physician and as a resident at my hospital I get any and all medical treatment that I want for free including IVF as long as I get it at the hospital that I am practicing at and so I feel like this infertility problem couldn't have come at a better time in life because if we do have to use IVF, at least I won't have the stress of paying for it on top of the stress of the medical treatments. I hope you end up getting the child that you want.

[captbabs]

Sorry you are here. This board is pretty slow. You should check out the board for TTC with medical assistance. I have yet to take meds, but post over there just b/c of their knowledge, and it's active.

Lindsay wow for FREE?! I wish I could have that!

[gypsyrose02]

Thanks for sharing with me guys. Feeling pretty crap at the moment. Was a week late and I allowed myself a glimmer of hope, but nudda. 24 months wasted. Cant afford IVF till I sell my car. Might not be till next year. Seems so far away. The journey seems so long and so far. And I feel like a ***** when everyone close to me conceives and has babies. Im supposed to smile and be overjoyed. But I just cant. Life seems so unfair at the moment. Im crying at the drop of a hat.

[Mod-LilSunshine]

Welcome to the board. I'm Lisa and my hubby and I have been trying for over 2 years with 2 losses in that time. We had our first son as soon as we first started trying and now we have been struggling for so long with no explained reason. I can totally understand the feelings that you're having!