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just a little vent....Is everyone pregnant but me?!


Forum: Secondary Fertility Issues

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  #1  
November 29th, 2011, 12:02 PM
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Why is it that when you're trying to get pregnant and having a hard time, it seems like everyone around you is pregnant all of a sudden?
Since DH and I started trying, here are the people in our lives who have become pregnant - my sister, my sister-in-law, BOTH of my 2 best friends, DH's 2 best friends and 2 of the couples we normally hang out with and they are ALL due around the same time! sighhhhhhh, just had to say that "out loud" to people who would understand why that makes me want to cry. Not that I'm not thrilled for all of them of course! Buuuuuuuut is it my turn soon?
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  #2  
November 30th, 2011, 03:42 AM
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Yes love, feel exactly the same. You have to be happy for them (and of course you are) but it also seems so unfair. My bro-in-law and his GF who have only been together for a year and are chain smokers are starting to try. If they conceive before my husband and I (who have been together for 5 and married for 2 - not that it matters about how long youve been together or anything) ill be royally peeved. A friend of my husbands who i cannot stand is having a baby with his GF. So over it all at the moment.
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  #3  
November 30th, 2011, 09:13 AM
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Gypsyrose02 how long have you been trying for? What kinds of things have you tried so far?

I know how you feel, that's how I felt before my sister in law got pregnant. She told me a month ago that she was going to start trying in Oct and DH and I both said to eachother "we better get pregnant before they do!" and then Sunday she called me up and said "I'm pregnant!" I felt like, how nice it must be to be able to just plan that and have it happen exactly how you wanted it too. All my other friends got pregnant, literally, on their 1st month trying! I guess DH and I are the infertility statistic for our group, no fair.
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  #4  
December 1st, 2011, 12:20 AM
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Just over 2 years. We have had tests and exploratory surgery (all showing everything is perfect to conceive naturally). We have done 3 failed IUI's. They are now saying because of our ages (35 and 39) that they dont want us to wait until we do it naturally (which could take a while) and want us to do IVF. We cant afford that and im quite frightened by the fact. Dont know if im strong enough.
We have had a very awful year financially with all of this treatment and tests. I also had a custody case for my other two children. I now get them week about but their dad moved them quite a distance away, so I spend 3 hours a day driving back and forth from their school. Because of that I lost my job. The ex is supposed to pay me child support but said I couldnt have my kids if he had to pay me money (even though I paid it for 6 years - at the expense of food on my table). So fuel is costing me an arm and a leg and to top it all off, a terrible tenant in our other property who hasnr paid rent and we had to have her forcibly removed. No rent for over 8 months and a big clean up bill. Once we get our insurance payout from that and get someone else in, we can breathe a little easier, but needless to say, any fertility treatments are on hold. Im a bit peeved that we have had to put our dreams on hold because of others (and I know alot of people have said to me that its they way i see things and the way I react that makes my life the way it is - but cmon! Really? I didnt ask for all that).
sheesh! That feels better. Sorry JoyT. Needed to get that off my shoulders.
What about you. How long and what have you tried?
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  #5  
December 1st, 2011, 11:39 AM
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Oh my gosh! Don't apologize though, unload! That's what we're here for
Wow I can't help but wonder if stress may be a factor for you!? That's a lot to deal with, I'm so sorry you've had to struggle through all that I hope things turn around for you soon.

We've been trying this time for 7 months so far but it's been exactly the same issues already that I had TTC our first baby. GP's and ob/gyn's tell me there's nothing wrong even though they acknowledge that my cycle is messed up but offer no help in getting it back on track. My GP just keeps telling me if I want to look further into it I should go back to the RE we used the first time since it worked (it took 9 months straight of trying different drugs - and 5 IUI's until it did though, that was after a year of trying naturally with no success). Apparently I'm a case of "unexplained infertility" (don't you love that diagnosis)
For the past 4 months I've been seeing an acupunturist and getting TCM's. So far it hasn't helped but it's an hour a week that's just mine where I can relax so I keep going On Monday I finally gave in to DH's requests and went and got a referral to our RE, but her office said they're booking in February right now so I've got 2 more months to try herbal stuff (and I'm praying it works). I know the RE worked the first time but it completely drained our savings and emotionally and physically was exhausting so I'm not looking forward to going through that again.
I just started Vitex this month and I keep hearing it's a wonder herb so I'm crossing my fingers it helps
And that's my story
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  #6  
December 1st, 2011, 06:40 PM
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I totally hear you on this one. I feel like everyone is around me too...and I feel like it's being thrown in my face all of the time. I'm happy for them, but disappointed for me.
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September 2009 @ 6 weeks May 2011 @ 11 weeks
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  #7  
December 2nd, 2011, 02:21 PM
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Its actually quite funny. I had a stress done a few months back and we were expecting it to be off the chart, but apparently with everything ive gone through in the past 6 years, ive learnt how to deal with my stress, cos my test came back showing that i only have a little stress in my system (which is healthy and normal). So that blew us away.
So Just have to keep going and not think about it and not think about everyone else having babies. My ex's wife has just had one and luckily I rarely see her now cos she likes to give me a hard time (even though many years ago, she told me and my ex that she hated kids and never wanted any).
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  #8  
December 28th, 2011, 09:27 PM
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I think that pg happens in cycles. Usually 2 or 3 at a time in my experience. Once one person says they are pg, I know 2 more will tell me in a few weeks. They will all give birth within 3 weeks of each other.

That was great when I wasn't thinking about TTC'ing again. Now that I am and it is pretty late in the game for me, I know it will be a bit difficult for me to be so happy for them ( I know that sounds bad), especially since everyone seems to have GREAT, glowing pregnancies and I am the only one that goes through the pre-e, and all sorts of horror stories.

No one in my real life knows how hard it is because they never had to go through it. That is why these groups are so great to discuss things.

Last edited by mat616; December 28th, 2011 at 09:33 PM.
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  #9  
July 22nd, 2012, 10:20 PM
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I feel exactly the same! I feel like I'm going crazy haha :/ I know 7 people due in the same two months and two close friends have just given birth to two beautiful bundles of joy, although I'm so happy for them all I can't help but feel slightly envious! I already have one 4 year old that is my life (whom I fell pregnant with two weeks after trying!) which I guess is making it harder to accept as number two is taking much longer! I just hope it happens for us all soon!! Lots of baby dust for everybody trying!

Also I know this is an old post but has anybody had their BFP yet!?
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  #10  
October 11th, 2012, 05:15 AM
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I have had 9 miscarriages in the last six and half years. I was told after my last one I needed an egg donor after doing Karyotyping. It certainly seems like everyone is pregnant but me and has no problems staying pregnant. Egg donation and Adoption both are so expensive. It is very tough. I am glad I came to this board because I know you guys would understand unlike many people I am around on a day to day basis.
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  #11  
October 13th, 2012, 04:26 PM
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Well, its 3 years now and still nothing. People around me are getting pregnant and having babies and im still no where. I read up on adoption this morning and apparently my husband (who just turned 40) is now too old to adopt (even though he acts and looks like he is in his late 20's, early 30's). I feel like crying. I feel lost, like theres nothing left. All we can do is keep trying. We still cant afford IVF even though things are a little easier financially (sort of) but we are still trying to get back on our feet. Im just tired of docs saying everything is perfect for us to conceive naturally, but hello, 3 years and nothing!!
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