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  • 1 Post By Nekinna2402

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  #1  
June 29th, 2012, 07:42 PM
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Just had my first appointment. My due date is January 18 according to the ultrasound. I am 11 weeks. Wow it seems so weird. This thing has been growing inside of me for 11 weeks. It has hands and feet and a little head already. I got a little picture. I have been carrying it with me all day.Everything looks like it is going good I guess. I really don't know how I will be able to take care of a little one. Still have not said anything to my parents. i almost told my dad but couldn't. So how long will it be before I have to? I felt bad when he took me shopping and gave me $50 to go get what ever I wanted. He does that about 2 or 3 times a month. I am a bit spoiled and I know it. It was cool to hear the heart beat. Well I just thought I would let you know. It is weird talking to a bunch of strangers about this. Not that I have anyone else to talk to. I am glad I do have you all to help me though it. Now I am rambling like I always do when I don't know what to say. Tomorrow we are off to the fair where my dad will get me what ever I ask for again. I kind of wish I could just enjoy it like last year.
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  #2  
June 30th, 2012, 04:17 AM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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Don't worry about rambling or telling about stuff in here, we were all new once and honestly, nice to have someone you "don't" know in real life to talk with about stuff that can be hard to say in real life.


Congrats on being 11 weeks already and a healthy little one. I still remember the first ultrasound, the heartbeat and the pictures and always will

I honestly recommend telling them as soon as possible, earlier the better. Sounds like you have a fairly good relationship with you parents so I'm sure they will do okay with it, they might be a bit shocked in the start but thats normal.
When your dad gave you those money, it would of been a idea to get some baby socks or something and see his reaction hah but you have the picture that you can show him and just be flat out honest about it.
It is tough but has to happen some day and better to give them (and yourself) time to get used to the idea that in a couple months, you will have a baby.
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Anniken - 20 years - Mama to 4 year old -student - Norway


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  #3  
July 1st, 2012, 10:34 AM
2Corinthians10:4's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Well congrats on the little one! How old are you? I honestly think that will have a lot to do with your parents reaction.

No matter though, I still think telling them as soon as possible is the best option. The longer you wait the more of a shock it will be when you tell them, it's better for them to have a little while to process it.

Did you call you boyfriend after the appointment to let him know that you really were pregnant? How did he take it?
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  #4  
July 1st, 2012, 11:56 AM
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My dad still looks at me like his little princess. I get what I want. He will not let me babysit though because he says it is to much responsibility. He lost two kids when I was little. My brother before I was born and my sister when I was 2. That is part of the reason I get basically anything I want. I have never even held a baby before though. My mom basically just wants me to stay out of her way. They usually don't talk to each other any more. They stopped talking except about me when I was about 4. Then when I got old enough to make the plans even that stopped.
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  #5  
July 1st, 2012, 12:05 PM
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I am 15. I will be turning 16 in February. I tried but he is not talking to me.
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  #6  
July 1st, 2012, 12:56 PM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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How old is your boyfriend? If he is not talking to you, try calling, texting or going there? Don't just wait around for him to figure out when he wants to talk. He is in on this too, takes two to get preggers.

It is a whole lot of responsibility, your father is correct on that but I must say that he is only making it worse by not letting you learn. I know how hard it is but it has to be done and heck, my dad kind of new I was pregnant (he had gone with me to the drs who said i'd have to take a pregnancy test if i didn't get my period) and my ex got it for me a little bit after but even then, i was scared, scared ****less to put it nicely because parents are a big part of our life normally.

You have to make sure you are ready for this, you are young but still possible I was also 15 years when I got pregnant so I know how tough it can be.
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  #7  
July 1st, 2012, 03:04 PM
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He is 16. Maybe you are right I should go over there and show him the picture. I guess I was just mad at him so I was just giving myself time. I don't feel ready for this at all. I think that is a lot of the problem.
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  #8  
July 1st, 2012, 03:13 PM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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I think if you aren't ready, have you thought about the alternatives? You are already 11 weeks so there are only about 29-30 weeks left to prepare and get used to the to thought of being a young mom
Sometimes, you just have to push through the time and get things done. Remember, he may also feel unsure and not ready for this too so talk to him.
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Anniken - 20 years - Mama to 4 year old -student - Norway


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  #9  
July 1st, 2012, 04:07 PM
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Yes thought and still thinking. I was reading about adoption but I am not sure if I could do that ether. There is a lot going through my mind which is why I came here. Even seeing my thought written down helps never mind how I like having the advice of people who have been through this. This is why I have not been able to join the January due date club. Plus I feel out of place because they are all older and seem to have wanted a kid in there life. I just don't know. Diapers are a lot of money. I looked after my ultra sound so I knew what to expect. I would love to see this baby grow up though. I never thought I was going to have kids and what if I have a hard time having a baby when I am ready for one. What if this will be my only baby. Just a lot to think about.
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  #10  
July 1st, 2012, 04:28 PM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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It is a tough choice but only you can take it You're free to ask or say anything you want to because most of us have most likely thought about the same things so no judgment from us in anyway.
Might be an idea to join the due date club till you are more sure about your feelings and thoughts, it can be really weird joining since a lot of the ladies there, are like you said... a completely different state in their life where they have been wanting this but once you get used to each other, it is a great support area if you are lucky to have a good due date club.

It is expensive to have kids and I don't know how you would do it but I'm sure it would work out if you really wanted this and have the support of your family (and friends)
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  #11  
July 1st, 2012, 06:49 PM
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Thank you. I like hearing about how it worked out for everyone because it helps me see what things could be like for me. Do you mind telling me a bit on how you did it? By the way I just love the picture of your daughter. She is very cute. I could just see my intro to the due date club. Hi I am the girl you are afraid of your daughters becoming. Do you mind if I join you? Ok I would not write that but that will be what everyone is thinking. I know everyone will know soon enough that I know. Anyways my dad knows now. He walked in with the picture before driving me to my moms and handed it to me and told me to take better care of it. I guess i left it out somewhere. He didn't want to talk about it though so I have no clue what is going through his head. He had my brother drive me home. I guess I couldn't keep it quiet for very long. All I had left was my mom so I thought I might as well. She lost it. She told me I was too young and that i was ruining my life and what would I do if something happened to it. I guess what ever happened to my brother and sister could be hereditary. They are not sure. At least that is what I think she said between her yelling at me. She also grabbed the picture and told me not to get attached. I feel very confused on what they really feel right now. I know they are upset with me and good reason. I just wish I could talk to them and find out where I stand with them. I wish i still had the picture to show my boyfriend his baby. I also wish i knew what his thought are. I also wish it wasn't summer so I could have something to do tomorrow. I just really want this all to be over right now. Sorry I think I am a bit emotional. The problem is I have no one to blame but myself.

Oh one more thing I might join the other group as soon as I I can think of what to say. Maybe tomorrow.
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  #12  
July 2nd, 2012, 04:15 AM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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Thank you Nah, I can try to tell a little but unfortunately, there happened so much during my pregnancy and afterwards that its a bit hard talking about it but I'll try.

This is going to be looong lol I tend to bable, just to warn you.
I was in major denial about the pregnancy, I had been throwing up, sore boobs and the moodswings? it was bad haha but I just thought I had gone nuts seeing how I was laughing, crying and pissed off just during one episode of spongebob squrepants and I kept finding myself holding over my tummy thinking that i had a girl in there and the throwing up? nah, just sick.

A little background info - I lived alone with my father, we had moved to Texas so there was just me and him there. Anyways, he took me to the doctor to see what was wrong with me and the doctor started asking if I was sexually active and when my period was due, all while my dad sat there... So we got home and didn't talk to much about it at that point. I called my ex(then bf) and he bought a pregnancy test for me and came over, we opened up the test and read then I went to the toilet and we had agreed that I should come back right after and not look at the test untill the time was out and look at it together.. The time went, a tiny little faint line was there, we could barely see it but it was there. This was on May 13th 2007.
Ironically, some of my family had came that day from Norway (my grandma and aunt) since I was having my conformation a week later.. We went down and I stopped my dad, remember how insanely scared I was but I still managed to say it... Told him that "rememeber that the doctor said I'd take a pregnancy test in a week? well... C (ex) have bought one and it came out positive." then I just started crying hah. I barely remember everything that was said after that but my grandma and aunt soon found out.
The first thing they did was ask me what I wanted and i was barely ever in doubt, i was going to keep her. so my grandma (who has worked at a health shop for years) jumped in the car to get me prenatal vitamins and got me a doctor appointment two days after.. I remember it feeling very unreal and hard to grasp when I was in the waiting room but lo and behold, we got in and since I got on that table and got that cold goo on y tummy and got to see my little girl. I was about 7/8 weeks and the baby had a good heartbeat and everything looked good.
I'm very happy for the family I have, my dad and they just left it up to me and we discussed what would happen..with school, should I move back to Norway or not and what not.
My mom and little brother came the same day as I had the ultrasound but my family respected that I didn't wish to say anything (i hadn't talked to her in pretty much a year at that point and they had talked me into letting her come to my conformation) but my grandma ended up telling her after getting the good to go from me to tell her, she wasn't as supportive of my wishes and wanted me to take an abortion but she left a couple days after I told her but the last night, we spend the night talking about a lot of things and it was actually that night, my hip issues kicked in hah.
We had agreed that the best would be if I moved back during the summer, my ex was really angry with me but i just didn't move in the end because despite the fact of how much better it would of been in Norway (more support, better schooling, easier to live with a kid and such) so I stayed and went back to school but because of the constant throwing up and hip pains, i ended up missing a lot of school and i was on bedrest the last two months of my pregnancy.
There was a lot of problems between me and my ex, always had been too but i kept trying to make it work because i wanted her to have her dad there.
Fast forward, about 35 + weeks, we started buying in the things we needed and getting prepared since everyone had told me that I would most likely go into preterm labour but nope, christmas came and my due date was getting closer and closer... I was due on new years eye.
My grandpa lived in Dallas at that point and had come down so I had my dad and grandparents there for the most part. As my due date approched, I was almsot daily at the gyn/ob and on the 2nd, i started getting contractions but they wore out after a while.. back to the doctors for another "stretch and sweep" and that went me into labour and about 12ish hours later, at 4:24 AM on January 4th 2008, I finally had my little girl
It was a bit tough, getting used to all the new feelings and things that came with it but I felt okay but my school kept calling to ask me if I'd come back after two weeks, which I didn't want to so was a bit problematic with that but overall, things were okay beside the usual arguments between C and me.
I finally ended things when she was 3/4 months and had to go through police, CPS, court and a lot of other things so I don't feel like my story is really a good example for others haha but look at us now, she is a beautiful 4,5 year old and I'm 20 years, been living alone since I was 17 years and I'm finally finished with school and will start working in the health care after the summer and we have it really good, despite everything and I love my life as a mom and I love my daughter more than anything
Djizes, long but feel free to ask if there was anything else haha

Glad that your parents finally found it out even if it doesnt feel good right now since they seem disappointed and angry but give them some time to get used to the thought of their little girl becoming a mom.
What do you mean that you only got yourself to blame? You weren't in this alone since it takes two to make the baby you know. Keep your mind busy and try to not overthink things.

Also, don't be so judgmental towards yourself nor others, chances are that they won't think that about you in the due date club at all, most people won't anyways so be nice to yourself.
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Anniken - 20 years - Mama to 4 year old -student - Norway


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  #13  
July 2nd, 2012, 05:57 AM
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thank you for writing that out. I think it is good to hear these stories. I was very interested in yours because you said you where the same age I was. Even here I feel like I am one of the youngest. I have a few more questions if you don't mind. How did you manage to go back to school? Did you stay with your dad till you where 17? How did you get enough money to support the baby and you. I couldn't see getting enough to move out so young right now. I know I would have to start earning some if I plan on keeping it.
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  #14  
July 2nd, 2012, 09:44 AM
Dhartanya's Avatar Paleo Mommy-to-be
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I would just like to point out... You are NOT the girl that I fear my daughter could turn into.

You haven't done something wrong, or something you need punishment or hardh judging for.

You are here trying to the mature thing. Trying to decide what is best for you and your baby.

You might not have wanted this right now and you might not feel ready. And that's ok. However, babies are what happens when you choose to have sex.
Now you need to step up to the plate and make some new mature decisions.

I'm sorry it sounds like you don't have the support of your family. Perhaps (and hopefully) they will come around soon.

If you choose to keep your baby, it will not be easy especially if your parents are not there for you. Most places have programs in place to help teenage mothers. My suggestion is to talk to your guidance councillor at school and even contact you nearest planned parenthood. If your religious ask what programs are available through your church (or other place of worship). Your could even google teenage pregnancy/mothers and your town and see what pops up.

If you want to do this, I have faith you can. If you choose not to keep the baby, remember make the choice for yourself. NOT for anyone else (your parents or bf).
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  #15  
July 2nd, 2012, 12:32 PM
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Thank you all good suggestions. Since I don't think I will have much to do this week this will give me something to look into to help me decide. I kind of feel lost. The good thing is I still have 29 weeks before this baby comes.
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  #16  
July 2nd, 2012, 02:04 PM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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No need to say thanks, if it helps you then I'm just glad that I'm able to help and I remember how helpless and lost I felt when I found out I was pregnant.
Don't worry about feeling young in here, most of us have been a mom for a while now but we were all pregnant and about to become a mom at one point

I ended up dropping out and I tried to do oneline schooling for a bit but there was too much problems with my ex and too much happening and a whole lot of lack of motivation really so I'll be honest and say... barely did a thing. I started school once I moved back to Norway again and took a one year course to get the last bit finished before I could move onto next schooling system (we have a different school system over here so not much point in really going into that)

I lived with my dad til I was 17 years for a couple reasons, the fact that I simply didn't have the money for it and the fact that I was on his work visa and lack of license and all, left me without really much choice. I have a great relationship with my father but i actually really didn't live living there after I had my daughter. I felt bad for "living" off him but didn't have much choice since I couldn't work and I went through court to get papers that said I'd be allowed to move back.

As for money, as I said, I lived with my father til I was 17 years and Tanja was 15ish months then I moved back to Norway where I got economical support from the state and I'm still on it but only til I get settled into work and get paid for full.
It isn't something that I'm proud of exactly but this is only a phrase of life until we get more settled and I'm finished with schooling and all.
I don't know all that much about the govt support where you live but I suppose it depends on how much your parents earn (if you continue living with them) and a lot of other stuff.

I hope you are able to talk to your parents about your future plans and what you want to do, I highly suggest sticking with school and maybe lay a plan on what you want to do after the baby is born.

I also agree with Dhartanya's post
Dhartanya likes this.
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Anniken - 20 years - Mama to 4 year old -student - Norway


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  #17  
July 2nd, 2012, 07:40 PM
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Well my mo told me she wanted me to have an abortion which is out of the question. I just keep thinking about that picture of the cute baby. I am having a hard time sleeping tonight so I just read different boards. I found my way on the birth mom board and read a couple post there. I honestly now don't know if I could. Sorry just upset and didn't know where to go. I really think I need to get my mind off of this for day or two. Not sure how.
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  #18  
July 3rd, 2012, 01:14 AM
Nekinna2402's Avatar Anniken <3 Tanja
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You do what feels right for you to do, if you put your mind to it, you can get it to work
I can relate to not being able to have an abortion nor give her up, couldn't imagine giving up my daughter at all. It is a tough thing and not something that everyone have the psychical strength to do since it require a strong mind.
Try to do something you like doing, going for walks, if you have a good friend then tell her/him or just try to relax.
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Anniken - 20 years - Mama to 4 year old -student - Norway


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