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Lectures?


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  #1  
August 23rd, 2007, 01:27 AM
hardstairs.
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I was wondering if you all got lots of lectures about being a mother young? And what they were?

I was just chatting away to my sister online about what ill do after school and I just mentioned a baby.
This turned into a huge lecture from her, not agreeing with children out of wedlock or people under the age of 22 having them.
That I dont understand what it would be like, I should live with her friend who has a child and is pregnant.
Would I be willing to have a child without being married and my own house?

This is way I dont open up to people about wanting to have a baby young.
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  #2  
August 23rd, 2007, 01:36 AM
conley1988
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I tried to stay away from people like that. I never really had anyone come up and say this or that about my age but I could tell by the way looked what they were thinking. It doesnt bother me because I know some girls who don't do anything at all for their child, teen or adult. I take care of my boys to the best of my ability which is better then most! Every decision I made I made for them.

Honestly, I don't agree with teens having babies to certain extent. Not that it doesn't happen but I just think a lot more thought needs to go into the decision of having a child. I think its proper to be out on your own so your parents don't need to raise them. I believe that if you can't afford a child yourself don't have a child. Now, I am not saying its not alright to get help from friends or family, just putting your baby off is what I mean. Like the teens who want the baby, gets it, and then realizes no I don't.

Personally, I worked everyday since the time Paul was 6 weeks and I have enjoyed every moment of being a mom. But I know some teens who are childish and selfish, and those are two things you can't be when having a child.
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  #3  
August 23rd, 2007, 06:39 AM
jdee0509's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I would be a hypocrite to agree with your sister, but honestly, when you have sooo many years ahead of you to have children, why do it so young? Enjoy being young...enjoy being free....enjoy life in general without any responsibilities.

i had my daughter young and i love her very much and do not regret having her, but sometimes i think man i should be able to be free right now, Im so young and it makes me wonder this when i see other girls my age just able to leave whenever, sleep whenever, etc etc

Any young girl who says like "i want a baby" or whatever I always say....no you dont. Watch Alexa for 24 hours you will get a reality check of how babies really arent just CUTE anymore... they're hard hard work. Its like a full time job you cant quit. Im not sure if my soapbox im on right now is going to make you think twice, but I really hope it does....

plain and simple, being a teen mom isnt glamorous. you shouldnt be jealous of us. we love our kids but can probably all say...its best to wait.

ok theres my lecture


ETA: I did get some lectures but by that time I was pregnant (unplanned) and I just ignored what people said and kept my head up. My point is...I would lecture a girl who said she wanted to get pregnant, but obviously a girl who IS pregnant, Im not going to make her feel like crap so I would just give her support.
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  #4  
August 23rd, 2007, 10:22 AM
Lacey.♥s.Lemons's Avatar Mommy March '05 & Feb '10
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plain and simple, being a teen mom isnt glamorous. you shouldnt be jealous of us. we love our kids but can probably all say...its best to wait.[/b]

Im going to have to agree with Jamie on this. Yes I love my son to death, I wouldn't have it any other way. But it is hard! Especially being young, and hardly able to pay the bills. They aren't dolls to show off. They are human beings and you have to put 100% of yourself into them...ALWAYS..for the rest of your life. Goto college, be young, hang out with your friends. You have time..or at least wait until you know you can budget and have your own place to live. Be financially ready and emotionally ready.
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  #5  
August 23rd, 2007, 11:30 AM
briena's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i agree it is sooo hard. how many times ive stood in the doorway and wished i could go outside i cannot count..but if its cold out for a baby or too hot you have to stay inside with them. the first time i said id take dakota for a night i thought oh this will be cute, we will do this and this and it will be so much fun. but babys have their own individual personality and wants and needs and they can only express themselves to you by crying which can be very stressful especially when you dont know what they want. honestly take care of a 2 or 3 month old for a night and see what you think the next day.....when they wake up in the middle of the night and your so tired you just want to roll back over but cant, thats when it gets to the point where you think omg this really sucks, when dakota wakes up its hard for me to drag myself out of bed and lift her up without the energy because im pregnant. when you arent a parent and youve had a full nights sleep, getting up in the middle of the night doesnt seem like a big deal to you..but when you haveto do it eveyr night and you dont know when your gonna get a break, it makes you so crazy. and you cant get mad at the baby for it you have to suck it up and be cheerful. and you cant always go to sleep when the baby does..sometimes bottles have to be washed and made and laundry has to be done or the house has to be cleaned..it takes everything i have to drag myself downto the basement and do laundry when id rather be sleeping but it has to be done. so you should really take what your sister said into consideration.she does know what shes talking about.
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  #6  
August 23rd, 2007, 11:53 AM
jdee0509's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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i agree it is sooo hard. how many times ive stood in the doorway and wished i could go outside i cannot count..but if its cold out for a baby or too hot you have to stay inside with them. the first time i said id take dakota for a night i thought oh this will be cute, we will do this and this and it will be so much fun. but babys have their own individual personality and wants and needs and they can only express themselves to you by crying which can be very stressful especially when you dont know what they want. honestly take care of a 2 or 3 month old for a night and see what you think the next day.....when they wake up in the middle of the night and your so tired you just want to roll back over but cant, thats when it gets to the point where you think omg this really sucks, when dakota wakes up its hard for me to drag myself out of bed and lift her up without the energy because im pregnant. when you arent a parent and youve had a full nights sleep, getting up in the middle of the night doesnt seem like a big deal to you..but when you haveto do it eveyr night and you dont know when your gonna get a break, it makes you so crazy. and you cant get mad at the baby for it you have to suck it up and be cheerful. and you cant always go to sleep when the baby does..sometimes bottles have to be washed and made and laundry has to be done or the house has to be cleaned..it takes everything i have to drag myself downto the basement and do laundry when id rather be sleeping but it has to be done. so you should really take what your sister said into consideration.she does know what shes talking about.[/b]

Wow, are we the same person??? LOL I agree 100% with this........everything you said is definatly SO TRUE and one of the hardest parts for me!
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  #7  
August 23rd, 2007, 04:49 PM
Dombone's Avatar Twilight Obsessor.
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I agree with the others!!! Live your life while you can! (FYI: I'm not trying to say you stop living life once you have kids )
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  #8  
August 23rd, 2007, 06:00 PM
Lacey.♥s.Lemons's Avatar Mommy March '05 & Feb '10
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I agree with the others!!! Live your life while you can! (FYI: I'm not trying to say you stop living life once you have kids )[/b]

What?? No one told me that! Damm
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  #9  
August 23rd, 2007, 07:04 PM
jdee0509's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Quote:
I agree with the others!!! Live your life while you can! (FYI: I'm not trying to say you stop living life once you have kids )[/b]

What?? No one told me that! Damm
[/b]
WHAT!! u mean we dont have to stop having fun???

jeez i need 2 get out of the house, ive been locked up for 8 months!
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  #10  
August 23rd, 2007, 07:18 PM
Lacey.♥s.Lemons's Avatar Mommy March '05 & Feb '10
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I know seriously Jamie! Ive been locked up for 2-1/2 years!
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  #11  
August 23rd, 2007, 08:10 PM
briena's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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yeah you cant go out whenever..its really important to be home with the baby a lot so you can keep them on a schedule or routine..thats what im trying to do with dakota
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  #12  
August 23rd, 2007, 10:43 PM
beckii's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I agree w/ what the others have said. And trust us, we've been there.. we ARE there. I love Mikayla, more then words and I love her more and more each day. But that's not to say I wouldn't have waited if I knew.. I guess I thought "oh it won't happen to me!".. could I have been more wrong?

Once you have a baby, you are connected and its almost like the umbilical cord is still there, even if you're out w/o him/her, your mind is constantly thinking about your baby.. you really don't get to go anywhere or do anything w/o making plans and its hard.. Its hard no matter how much you love your child.

I understand where you're coming from-- its hard to hear lectures from people. I tried to ignore it when they came at me, but I was already pregnant by then.

Some people are just maternal, but there is LOTS of time for that in the future... The only advice I could give someone trying or hoping to have a baby young is wait.. Even though the chances of that person taking me seriously is slim.
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  #13  
August 23rd, 2007, 10:56 PM
pixie_punk's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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I hate getting lectures about anything, and I'm the type of person that's so stubborn and headstrong that nothing is going to make me want to do something more than being told I can't or shouldn't... BUT, I have to agree with everyone else here. I haven't even had my baby yet and I already realize how hard it's going to be, and already is. I got a couple of lectures when I told people I'm pregnant, which were annoying but just made me that much more determined to prove those people wrong... because I'm here now, I kind of have no choice.

I'm excited to be a mom and I think I'll be able to provide for my son and give him the life he deserves, but I definitely wouldn't have planned to have him now, I would have waited a few more years and probably gotten married first.
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