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  #1  
August 26th, 2007, 09:07 PM
jdee0509's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I happened to see one of Keith's younger sister's friends yesterday, so I started talking to her.

Shes like 16 and she has a 5 month old daughter and she told me that Keith's mom always watches her daughter and that she QUIT her job just to watch the baby while she goes to school (free of charge) Im thinking ***?? why the heck would she do that.

And she also told me that Keith's mom called me a C*nt and a s*ut and always talks bad about me. ( and i believe this is true)

Just to let you know, Keith's mom hasn't seen Alexa since she was about 5 months old because I refuse to go over there due to some personal ISSUES with his family and alexa wont go over there by herself because she flips when shes away from me...

what would you do in my shoes? his mom is supposedly really hurt she hasnt seen her only grandchild in "ages" but then she goes behind my back and calls me those names??! yeah like thats really going to make me race over there.....

i just dont know what to do. i feel bad she hasnt seen alexa but i realllllllly do not want to come face to face with that woman and if i leave her i know for a fact alexa will cry and cry and cry and i really dont want to put her threw that. if im ever at my friends house and leave the room for a sec to go to the bathroom or somethin, alexa freaks out and i always have to bring her with me.

it drives me nuts alexa is like that but theres nothin i can really do about it.
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  #2  
August 26th, 2007, 09:18 PM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
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That's a tough spot and I'm going through that right now, only my kid isn't born yet.

Jesse's dad won't 'allow' me at his house anymore because his, then fiance-now wife, told him she wouldn't marry him if I was allowed back over. They've been together about as long as Jesse and I have and she's always been extremely nice to me. I have no idea why she is being this way!

I told Jesse that his father made his decision and that if I can't go, my baby won't go either. He can see his dad all he wants, but my baby never will until he realizes his mistakes. How immature is he? His dad actually told him, "I will support you, but I will not support you and HER." He's basically trying to break us up while I'm pregnant. And it is only because I am pregnant.

Jesse's biological mother is being the sweetest she ever possibly could be (besides the fact that she wanted me to get an abortion early on in my pregnancy) and that somewhat makes up for his father.

But, given your situation, I wouldn't let Alexa around his mother. If his mother is going to say that behind your back, you can bet she'd says those things in front of your daughter. I wouldn't keep the father from seeing her or even other family members, but the mother needs to learn to respect her granddaughter's mother before she can actually be a real grandparent to your baby. She could do everything that you don't personally allow (eating sugar, spanking, etc), just because she doesn't care and doesn't respect your wishes.
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  #3  
August 26th, 2007, 09:24 PM
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Quote:
That's a tough spot and I'm going through that right now, only my kid isn't born yet.

Jesse's dad won't 'allow' me at his house anymore because his, then fiance-now wife, told him she wouldn't marry him if I was allowed back over. They've been together about as long as Jesse and I have and she's always been extremely nice to me. I have no idea why she is being this way!

I told Jesse that his father made his decision and that if I can't go, my baby won't go either. He can see his dad all he wants, but my baby never will until he realizes his mistakes. How immature is he? His dad actually told him, "I will support you, but I will not support you and HER." He's basically trying to break us up while I'm pregnant. And it is only because I am pregnant.

Jesse's biological mother is being the sweetest she ever possibly could be (besides the fact that she wanted me to get an abortion early on in my pregnancy) and that somewhat makes up for his father.

But, given your situation, I wouldn't let Alexa around his family. If his mother is going to say that behind your back, you can bet she'd says those things in front of your daughter. I wouldn't keep the father from seeing her or even other family members, but the mother needs to learn to respect her granddaughter's mother before she can actually be a real grandparent to your baby. She could do everything that you don't personally allow (eating sugar, spanking, etc), just because she doesn't care and doesn't respect your wishes.[/b]
Wow Jesse's dad sounds like a real jerk. It doesnt matter if he doesn't like you....you are the mother of his grandchild he is going to have to deal with you. I would be the same way as you....if you cant come over, neither can the baby. There's no reason a baby should be without his/her mother anyway.
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  #4  
August 26th, 2007, 09:29 PM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
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I know, he is such a jerk! He's always been mean with Jesse, he wouldn't even co-sign for a loan for Jesse's college, so he could get a better interest rate! He just doesn't want anything to do with his kids anymore. He just won't put forth any effort to help them at all. He is such a horrible parent. My parents aren't the best, but they're there when I need them, you know? I agree that anywhere a mother isn't allowed, they shouldn't expect the baby to go. I just told Jesse that I don't want Cheryl at my babyshower, only his mom, her sisters, and his grandma. His grandma just adores me, for some reason.

We need to form a club against our children's father's parents!
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  #5  
August 26th, 2007, 09:29 PM
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ugh how old is his mom?

Honeslty his family had has a phone if they really missed alexa taht much they would have said hey i want to see her can we come over/can we meet somewhere.

Or maybe im just a big meany. but she has to respect you just a little bit if she wants to see her grandchild she can not expect to see her grandchild when she treats you like trash. And if she thinks she is intiteled to she would straiten up so that she could see alexa.
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  #6  
August 26th, 2007, 09:35 PM
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Quote:
I know, he is such a jerk! He's always been mean with Jesse, he wouldn't even co-sign for a loan for Jesse's college, so he could get a better interest rate! He just doesn't want anything to do with his kids anymore. He just won't put forth any effort to help them at all. He is such a horrible parent. My parents aren't the best, but they're there when I need them, you know? I agree that anywhere a mother isn't allowed, they shouldn't expect the baby to go. I just told Jesse that I don't want Cheryl at my babyshower, only his mom, her sisters, and his grandma. His grandma just adores me, for some reason.

We need to form a club against our children's father's parents! [/b]
LMAO, ugh why do they have to aggravate us so much?????? Yeah at keith's sister's communion party I wasnt invited but Alexa supposedly was (even though she didnt get an invitation) i only found out AFTER the party when i questioned keith why we weren't invited and he said "oh you were" its like YEAH we were really invited we didnt even get an invitation or phone call or nothin!!! They just didnt want me to come, but "Alexa is always welcome" Yeah...

Quote:
ugh how old is his mom?

Honeslty his family had has a phone if they really missed alexa taht much they would have said hey i want to see her can we come over/can we meet somewhere.

Or maybe im just a big meany. but she has to respect you just a little bit if she wants to see her grandchild she can not expect to see her grandchild when she treats you like trash. And if she thinks she is intiteled to she would straiten up so that she could see alexa.[/b]
his mom is 36 going on 12. Shes been this immature from day 1.
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  #7  
August 26th, 2007, 09:40 PM
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  #8  
August 26th, 2007, 09:43 PM
Melanie.'s Avatar Totalimmortal
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Quote:
Quote:
I know, he is such a jerk! He's always been mean with Jesse, he wouldn't even co-sign for a loan for Jesse's college, so he could get a better interest rate! He just doesn't want anything to do with his kids anymore. He just won't put forth any effort to help them at all. He is such a horrible parent. My parents aren't the best, but they're there when I need them, you know? I agree that anywhere a mother isn't allowed, they shouldn't expect the baby to go. I just told Jesse that I don't want Cheryl at my babyshower, only his mom, her sisters, and his grandma. His grandma just adores me, for some reason.

We need to form a club against our children's father's parents! [/b]
LMAO, ugh why do they have to aggravate us so much?????? Yeah at keith's sister's communion party I wasnt invited but Alexa supposedly was (even though she didnt get an invitation) i only found out AFTER the party when i questioned keith why we weren't invited and he said "oh you were" its like YEAH we were really invited we didnt even get an invitation or phone call or nothin!!! They just didnt want me to come, but "Alexa is always welcome" Yeah...[/b]
You and Alexa are a packaged deal, they don't get Alexa if they don't get you. That's how it is with me.

They just got married today, Jesse's dad and Cheryl. They told Jesse on Friday that I could come to their wedding, "for him". So, I "can go" to their wedding for him, but they do everything in their power to keep us apart. I just don't get it. I'd rather they wouldn't have said anything at all after uninviting me the first time. It just pissed me off more.
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  #9  
August 26th, 2007, 11:08 PM
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Normally I would say that regardless of your issues with his mom, Alexa deserves to have her grandmother in her life, BUT I also agree with Mel that if she's saying those things about you, she's probably saying them in front of Alexa too.

Why is she taking care of a baby that isn't even related to her when she can't even be bothered to show simple common decency to the mother of her own grandchild? That woman seriously needs to get her priorities straight before she even has any right to see Alexa, if you ask me.

Mel: Sounds to me like Jesse's dad is completely whipped... like Cheryl is the one who decided she didn't like you all of a sudden so now he's following suit. He needs to grow a pair.
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  #10  
August 27th, 2007, 07:19 AM
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jamie i dont think your doing anything wrong.....id say give her a chance to see alexa..but not if shes going to be calling you names like that behind your back..how immature! why in the world is she giving up her job to watch her daughters friends baby?! what a creep..

mel i agree with pixie_punk......he sounds completely whipped..
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  #11  
August 27th, 2007, 07:53 AM
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He is completely whipped and a total buttface. He makes me so upset. He's made his choice as far as I'm concerned, when he wants to grow up and apologize to me, I'll let him see my kid.
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  #12  
August 27th, 2007, 08:24 AM
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Quote:
But, given your situation, I wouldn't let Alexa around his mother. If his mother is going to say that behind your back, you can bet she'd says those things in front of your daughter. I wouldn't keep the father from seeing her or even other family members, but the mother needs to learn to respect her granddaughter's mother before she can actually be a real grandparent to your baby. She could do everything that you don't personally allow (eating sugar, spanking, etc), just because she doesn't care and doesn't respect your wishes.[/b]
I 100% agree w/ this !

And, I know how you feel about the seperation anxiety. Mikayla was like that for months, and just when I thought she'd gotten over it, she'd start again. If you can start leaving her w/ someone she knows for a couple hours or so, it may help her.. It can be really hard on you though!
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  #13  
August 27th, 2007, 01:53 PM
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I know what your saying in a sense. SO's father hasn't been around to see Connor, we got in a fight with him when I was pregnant. He doesn't really ask to see Connor either so it's his own fault. One night he and his ex-stepdaughter who lives with him (messed up I know) wanted to babysit him and got offended when we said no. He CRIES when he holds him, I wouldn't put him through that.

She needs to call you herself if she wants to see her, and she shouldn't be saying stuff behind your back. No matter what she thinks of you, your her granddaughters mother, she needs more respect!
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  #14  
August 27th, 2007, 04:00 PM
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I guess I am on the other side of the spectrum.

Despite my personal feelings for someone, if they are not harming my baby in any way and love my baby, I would not keep my baby from love. Does that make sense? I went 5 months give or take without speaking to my in-laws. But never once did I keep Danielle from them. Dani still spent every friday night with them...just minus me. Sometimes Dani still cries, but she gets over it quickly. It is the only way for her to learn.

Although I don't know Keith's mom, I don't think she would harm Alexa. I think she would genuinely love her grandaughter and take care of her. Of course, this is me trying to think the best of people.

I think you should call her, and very calmly say to her that you want her and Alexa to have a relationship and that you find it important that not only does she know her grandaughter, but that Alexa knows her grandmother. But in order to do that, the two of you need to clear the air as best as you can. Tell her you have heard from a little birdie some things she has said about you. Tell her you do not care if it is the truth or not, but that you do not want those things said in front of your daughter. And then leave it at that. Then I would discuss some of the personal issues you have with her. Calmly. Get it out in the open. Be the adult in the situation. If you have to, write her an email and repeatedly say in the email that you are not trying to sound rude or disrespectful. Just explain your feelings from the heart in a calm manner. And then you have done your part. The ball would now be in Keith's mother's court.

But so it doesn't bite you in the butt later on, you need to do all that you can so Alexa knows Keith's side of the family. Then Alexa can never say you tried to keep her from her dad and his family.
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  #15  
August 27th, 2007, 07:39 PM
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But, given your situation, I wouldn't let Alexa around his mother. If his mother is going to say that behind your back, you can bet she'd says those things in front of your daughter. I wouldn't keep the father from seeing her or even other family members, but the mother needs to learn to respect her granddaughter's mother before she can actually be a real grandparent to your baby. She could do everything that you don't personally allow (eating sugar, spanking, etc), just because she doesn't care and doesn't respect your wishes.[/b]
!!!
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