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I just posted this a while ago in cesarean support since it's for moms who are having or have had a csection, but reading all the posts there I feel out of place, am I the only one who hated her csection?
Anyway I think I posted in the wrong place, so am reposting here:
My letter to my son. I haven't read it yet, and I am not sure if I ever will:
I could feel that you were about to be born as you were being tugged out of me. I didn't open my eyes right away- I was caught off guard by the sound of your soft cry. It was so sweet, like a kitten. I wanted to hold you right then. I tried to get a glimpse of you but you were hidden by the curtain. I asked to nurse you or hold you for just a moment but the doctor said no, it wasn't safe. I felt betrayed. I cried softly as you were brought over to a table to be cleaned and weighed. My body was still trembling from having given birth to you- I think my body was in shock from the separation. I could hear and see Daddy talking to you, touching you, and I was so jealous. Then he brought you over to me and I touched you for the first time. It was just a brief moment and then you were taken away again. Everyone else was waiting to meet you outside. You were wheeled out of the surgery room and I was wheeled into another room to recover. I lay there feeling as if you and I were a thousand miles away, not knowing when my arms would be wrapped around you. My mind was just willing you to be brought to me. I was still trembling and disoriented. I wanted to jump off the gurney to look for you, but could not make my legs move. A nurse brought me ice chips to chew on while I waited for what seems like forever. Finally a couple of hours later I was brought into “Room 5”, the room we would share for the rest of our hospital stay, and you were brought to me soon after. You were placed in my arms and I felt a calm come over me. At last I was reunited with my beautiful son. I love you Jeffrey.
Amy, mama to my spirited J , 12/03, and my HBAC babe, L, 6/07.