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ricky and christian's births


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January 19th, 2008, 10:57 PM
KBeans's Avatar Believe in your body
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WARNING: LONG!

ricky:
i had 3 different due dates: feb 1st, 7th, and 10th. the doc settled on the earliest one of course.
on feb 9th, i started having really bad back pain. dh's mom suggested i go in and see if it was back labor with hidden contractions. i got to the hospital at 3:45 am
they got me right in bed and nothing was really happening on it's own, i don't even remember if they checked me or not. i really still believe to this day that just because i was "overdue" according to my ONE due date that they just did the "well we're having a baby today no matter what" shtick

8am when doc shows up (i never even saw him though!) they pop me on the IV of pitocin. slightly stronger contractions but nothing really bad. however, i had to take that darn pole with me everytime i even went pee! such a stupid pain in the ars.

they KEPT me on pitocin until 5pm! 9 hours of straight pit drip! how ridiculous. and no one ever said "try walking, let's see if your body is contracting on it's own yet, let's send ya home cause nothing is going on"...again so then 5:30pm finally my doc comes in to see me and checks, im only at 3cm and 75%. he says he can break my water if i want. he didn't tell me that puts me on a time clock! and now i find out that water shouldn't even be broken until 4-5 cm! so i say yes, not fully aware of everything entailed, thinking he knows best. after breaking my water the pit kicks in FULL FORCE. the contractions are on top of each other one after the other after the other, NO BREAK, just one constant contraction and im tied to the bed with machines and monitors. still no one suggests changing positions or walking or taking me off the PIT to see if my body would kick in on it's own after having my water broken.

so im in excruciating pain, i am told im not progressing and so i ask for a little bit of some pain medicine so that i can just keep up my strength until i start progressing. if i was making progress at that time i would have handled the pain, but thinking i wasn't progressing only made the pain unnecessary in my mind. well they gave me demoral, i end up completely overdosed or having an allergic reaction, because i don't remember much after that, my mom said i went white as a ghost and she kept asking the nurse if i was going to die, she was so scared! i started throwing up and peeing myself in the bed, they finally had to put in a catheter becaus ei couldn't make it to the bathroom anymore and even after they put that in, i kept trying to get up to go to the bathroom, not even understanding that i had a catheter in.

within 2 hours, ricky was born. somwehere along the line i signed papers OKing a cesarean (as i was being wheeled into the OR my mom says), i remember hearing someone yell "LOOK AT YOUR BABY LOOK AT YOUR BABY" and in a fog i saw him for a split second as they took him away. i was knocked out after that for 4 hours, he was fed formula before breastmilk and i woke up under a heating blanket because my blood dropped so much. i ended up borderline anemic afterwards, which does go away but i had to take iron pills to help out. my first thought was, "im not pregnant...can i see my baby!" all i wanted to do was put him to the breast. that was my first thought...to breastfeed him.

i now have my records and i read in there how my uterus, after ricky being taken out, was "catatonic", meaning it wouldn't contract, which it's suppose to do after having a baby. they tried massaging it to get it to work and it still would not do anything. how did they expect it to do anything with how drugged i was?? my body was in a complete lapse, including my uterus. (which is why drugs should not be introduced into labor, it can have a calming effect that can cause stalling).

after the horrible birth experience, i ended up blessed with a GREAT amazing recovery. i was double sutured and they used staples. the staples didn't even bother me as much as i would have expected. i was walking around and both of us nursing like a champ despite the 4 hours of being away from each other.

christian:
wasn't told i had the option of a VBAC. i now had a new doc in a different state. i was under the impression "once a cesarean always a cesarean" which is NOT truth, as we know NOW. so eventhough this doctor didn't support VBACs, he should have and could have let me know it was an option if i would like to go with a different doc, but why lose business right?

so i just went along with the cesarean, i was a little apprehensive but honestly didn't want the same experience of birth as i did with ricky and thought i just could not give birth. so i figured why cause my body that stress, just go with a repeat cesarean. being able to have the convenience of planning it was great as well because we now lived across the country from all of our family and we woulc plan them coming out here. i was VERY nervous about the surgery because i wasn't really "there" for ricky's surgery. i wasn't scared of the recovery at all though so all i kept thinking was as long as i can get through the surgery without puking or passing out, i will be ok after that....um no. not the way i expected. i ended up with a GREAT surgery and a horrible recovery. it was through that tough recovery i discovered and started working on my VBAC for my next baby, whenever that would be. i had burning sensations constantly, i couldn't sit, or lay or stand comfortably. i kept thinking i was doing great for having just had surgery, but i also didn't want to admit to anyone how much pain i was really in. im a trooper type person and often hide if im in physical pain as to avoid the pity parties. but as 6 months, 9 months..etc rolled around and i still had pain, i was determined to never have to have an unnecessary cesarean ever again. and also to be more physically fit for any upcomong birth i ever had.
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