My TTC story

ShannonMVT · #1 August 24th, 2008, 10:45 AM

Hi all, I had a request to share the details of our TTC journey since maybe not everyone knows the full story. I hope that for those of you TTC, that it brings you some hope that it can happen even when you think it never will.

We started TTC in June 2007. I had already been charting so I had a good idea of what my cycles were like. I was completely shocked when I got a BFP in August 2007 but was so excited! The trouble started when I checked my hcg levels and they were going up but not doubling as they should have been. The 6 week ultrasound showed no baby or heartbeat. My progesterone was low and I begged my doctor for progesterone supplements just in case the baby was viable, which she gave to me. A week later, we saw a beautiful small baby with a heartbeat on the ultrasound. The doctor said the gestational sac was a little small but my risk of miscarriage was only 5%. However, 10 days later I started spotting. I went for a follow up ultrasound and there was no more heartbeat. I stopped the progesterone and 2 days later I miscarried. I felt my world crashing down. I just couldn't belive that after all the ups and downs and thinking it would be okay, that I had lost my baby. Months later, we named him Thomas Shaw since I always felt like it was a boy.

Since we had gotten pregnant in 2 cycles I thought it would happen again quickly. But months started to pass by and I started to worry. At around 6 months, I got my hormone levels checked and they were fine. Dh got a semen analysis and it was fine. I just couldn't figure out what was wrong. It felt like it was too much that I was dealing with not only the loss of my precious baby, who I still missed, but also having trouble TTC again.

I tried everything, green tea, Preseed, Instead cups, LOTS of opks, etc, but still no luck. We went to the RE after 8-9 cycles, and she suggested an HSG and also Clomid. I also started doing acupuncture. We had to take one cycle off after I got the Rubella vaccine and it was tough to take that month off.

Then this cycle I did my HSG (which was fine) and took my Clomid. I swear to you, I did not think it would work. I was already researching IUI, even IVF, domestic adoption. Everything was "the next step", "worst case scenario", I couldn't even get my hopes up that it was going to happen with minimal intervention. You all know I was so afraid that my temps going up on my chart didn't mean anything. I wanted to hope but was afraid to at the same time because I was so tired of being disappointed.

And somehow, on cycle #10 of trying after my miscarriage, with a total TTC time of 14 months since we started, it happened again for me.

I am absolutely thrilled. I am nervous of course, but trying to stay hopeful that this one is my little sticky baby.

I still miss Thomas. I think part of me always will. It hurts that I don't get to have my first baby with me. But I do feel so incredibly blessed and lucky to be pregnant again, and to have another chance. And I know I will love and appreciate this baby so much, after everything I've gone through to get to this place. This baby feels like a miracle to me. (Okay, crying now)

My hope for all of you TTC and especially TTC after a loss, is that you don't give up hope. No matter how many months it takes, I just know that when it does happen you will all look back and know that it was worth the wait.

lauren in hi · #2 August 24th, 2008, 10:54 AM

Thanks for sharing, Shannon. I think that is a beautiful story & very inspirational for those who have had a loss and/or are having trouble conceiving.

Lash · #3 August 24th, 2008, 11:11 AM

Thank you so much Shannon- now I can go back and re read on my hard days and just keep going!

**Jenn** · #4 August 24th, 2008, 11:49 AM

Thank you for sharing and I'm so happy for you that you are pregnant again. You will always miss Thomas but he is still the "big brother protector" even if he's not here with you.

Mod-LadyCoconut · #5 August 24th, 2008, 11:53 AM

Thanks for sharing, Shannon.

sticky

#6 August 24th, 2008, 01:15 PM

It took courage to type this out, well done chickie! I'm looking forward to following you through your pregnancy

Mars · #7 August 24th, 2008, 03:19 PM

That was so inspiring!! It wasn't me but I felt like I could relate to what you've been through just from your story. Thank you so much for sharing!!

I hope all continues to go on well and I look forward to sharing this journey with you.

TheOtherMichelle · #8 August 24th, 2008, 04:04 PM

Congratulations!

Some people say that when you have a pregnancy loss that the timing wasn't right for some reason, but that the spirit of that child will come back during another pregnancy when it's the right time.

soImarriedAnerd · #9 August 24th, 2008, 10:44 PM

thanks for sharing

♥Ashley♥ · #10 August 25th, 2008, 07:48 AM

I am crying here, Shannon!! Thanks for sharing, and LOTS and LOTS of stucky dust for you!!

freesiangel · #11 August 25th, 2008, 01:01 PM

Thanks for sharing your amazing story!

*Anna* · #12 August 25th, 2008, 01:31 PM

what an amazing story!!!!! thanks for sharing with us

#13 August 25th, 2008, 04:50 PM

I'm so thrilled that you are pregnant Shannon

I knew your story, but thanks for sharing- it reminds us all that this journey isn't always easy, but we will all make it though in the end.

PS- I forgot you were on Clomid this cycle. Your 15 dpo test is pretty dark.....

....twinsies??? hehe