The last few days when I close my eyes I can see myself pregnant. In detail! I look pretty cute too, and my bump is kinda saggy like I am carrying low, LOL. That has to be a good sign, right? I find it comforting that maybe I will be lucky enough to get pregnant before the year is out. Heck, I would be happy if it just happened before I hit 30!

For those keeping track, I decided to call my doc Monday because I want to try and combine Femara (which I start today) with Gonal f, (prescribed for CD 5, 7, 9) an injectable med. If I start the gonal f Monday that will put me right in line cycle day wise. We'll see what he says. But higher quality eggs plus more of them sounds good to me! And I am getting my hormones re-tested too, and may take progesterone this cycle. Fun stuff. Wish me luck, and if I do this regimen, some anti-overstim vibes would be good too

[greeneyes]

Girl, I will throw any kinda vibes you want at ya!

[*Anna*]

[soImarriedAnerd]

the EVERYTHING YOU WANT KIND!!!

[Mars]

Michelle, I do believe that you will become pregnant. I can't say how soon but I am quite confident that it will happen for you!!

So here's more dust to you!!

GL and whatever-leads-to-a-sticky BFP and healthy-baby

[ANGWife]

What a great attitude!

[Hoosier Kitty]

[~Jess~]

I'm really in awe of how strong you've been thru this whole process. GL this cycle!

[Garfieldbear]

You have a great attitude, I'm glad that you are getting over some of your fears about injectables.....seriously, Clomid isn't anymore "natural" than injectables. Many women have stated that they have felt even less negative symptoms on injectables than on Clomid (like me, who felt very weepy and depressed on Clomid but not on injectables). Don't worry, it's not like shooting heroine....I still remember the first night I took Lupron and Gonal-F injections for the first time.....I was at my mother-in-law's house for July 4th, and we had to bring the injections in an ice box and keep them secretly "hidden" in the referigerator, because of course she didn't know that we were going through infertility. I kept on thinking, what if she found them, and thought I was taking illegal drugs. I wrapped them in this tin tea box with Christmas Polar Bears on it, and my husband wrote "DO NOT OPEN" in large letters. The first night I sneaked to the referigerator and pretended to get food, and then with shaking hands I brought the box upstairs. I read the instructions a million times, and it did seem easy. No liquids to mix, no large needles in the backside. I pulled my stomach skin, injected, and thought, "wow, this doesn't hurt at all!" This was my Gonal-F, and then I did it again for my Lupron and thought the same thing. And then I thought, this is it? Did I really do this? And I did, and I felt so proud of myself, and so excited that I had such a wonderful chance to get pregnant.

If you have any questions Michelle, feel free to ask, or if you need any support. This is not a step backwards, but a step forwards. And you know, like Mari, I also have this strong feeling that you are going to get pregnant soon....I almost have it in my mind already that you will be pregnant in a month or two, and I sometimes forget that you aren't pregnant yet. I have this vision of you being on the pregnancy boards, asking a million questions and expressing different worries (as most of us do). I'm glad that you are feeling much better about your RE, and look forward to an update on Monday

Thanks for the positive support everyone, I am getting teary eyed over here

I admit that way back when before I knew I had fertility problems, I never thought I would take pills much less need injectables. Then after I started taking clomid, it was a fear about reaching the end of my options, because injectables are one step closer to IVF which is one step closer to adoption. But now I figure, what the heck! I will just trust in the process and that it will happen sooner or later. And that thought makes me pretty happy

[ShannonMVT]

I know it can be scary taking that next step. And part you wants to think "I don't need that". But if it helps you get that bfp (and I think it will for you) then it is so worth it!

I think it's a great sign that you are imagining yourself pregnant. Sometimes I think infertility makes us shy away from really letting ourselves want to be pregnant (because it hurts so much when it doesn't happen).
After I took those fake pregnancy pics for the bacon ddc I looked at them and really loved the way I looked and it really made me want that belly and to be pregnant. And it happened for me the next cycle.

I'm excited for you Michelle and I can't wait for the day when you announce your blaring BFP to us!

[soImarriedAnerd]

Gonal and Lupron were the meds I had to take for a cycle when I donated eggs. Unlike Jen I was a big chicken-sh*t and never even TRIED to give myself the shots. I had my then boyfriend (now DH) learn to give shots and he gave them to me. He actually did a great job-and I have to admit I was scared to death when he had to give me the trigger shot! (the needle was so much bigger). I now regret that I didn't even try to give myself the shots (and yes I was a nurse at the time---sad I know). I think doing it probably would have been kind of empowering.
ANYWAY my point was going to be that I can't compare the clomid to the shots but for me the shots caused no symptoms or issues at all, I did drink tons of Gatorade-which they told me to do, I can't remember why though. I had issues with the post retrieval drugs but I'm sure that's because my body was gearing up for a pregnancy and then I was taking drugs to counter act that! That part was the only part I remember that sucked.
Good luck with them and I hope this is it for you!!!

[Alison81]

Michelle, I am so hoping that you are announcing your pregnancy soon. I think with all the medical technology, there are very few people who won't get pregnant, and I am sure most of them are women that are older, in their 40's and such. And you're right about just trusting the process and going with it, I think that's the best attitude!