I had a little guy who had his days and nights screwed up at first....he didn't cry at night just laid there wide awake ready to be alert and I felt guilty falling asleep....I couldn't take it....so I got three books that my mom ordered for me that were great (each in their own way - I used suggestions from all of them!)
Solve your child's sleep problems - ferber (alot of this is geared at older babies and toddlers)
Healthy sleep habits, happy child - weissbluth (this is good it is sectioned by months of age)
the no cry sleep solution - pantley (this is just good all around!)
I was bound and determined to have a good sleeper - who would sleep in his own bed (space) anywhere we went and never be in our bed or waking up several times a night wanting a drink whatever ....and....I have a perfect sleeper now

- naps and nighttime.....all I can say about what worked for us is routine, routine, routine...and we had to stick stick stick to it. We started him very young (like at 8 to 12 weeks) doing a bath, lotion massage, pj's, books, music lullabies with rocking and then bed....we've had to add a breathing treatment to the routine since he's been older but he loves his routine....it makes him feel secure and safe in the world I guess......although we had to do a bit of the cry it out - the 5 min, 5 min, 10 min, 10 min, 20 min thing....and it was just like the books say after a couple nights there was hardly any belly aching at all. My friend just did this whole routine thing and monitored cry it out with her new baby and she was amazed at how well it went - she gave in to her first child when he was a baby and at 4 he still sleeps in their bed and stays up till all hours of the night.....she wishes she knew then what she knows now!
I do feel your pain and I really hope that your beauty starts getting her beauty sleep soon on a more regular schedule.....but like Lisa said it does get better and you hardly remember all those frustrating times that sleep was just not working out right for the rest of the family! Good luck!!!