[soImarriedAnerd]

First thanks Kyle for letting everyone know, I knew you were all pulling for me while I was there.

Sort version---I am no longer pregnant and had a D&C.

Long version--
(very detailed story-BIG WARNING!)
So the events of last night. After dinner last night, we had a huge mexican meal, I was having some light cramping--i thought it was gas since I just ate more food in one sitting then I had in months. I had a large BM and started to feel better. I was out with some friends and I went to the bathroom and had some mucus discharge (first time since I found out I was pregnant). So Troy and I decided to head home an have a night in. I fell asleep about 2am (my normal time LOL). And woke up at 3 with some cramps, rolled over and went back to sleep....well from 3-5am I kept waking up every 15-20min with cramps. Troy got up for work at 6am and I was sleeping pretty well. Well I woke up to a big cramp and a gush of clear liquid-at first I thought I peed my pants. Then got up to the bathroom and sat on the toilet and more fluid came out-so I knew it wasn't pee. I told troy its time for the ER so he went to get a car for us and to tell his co-workers he would not be coming into work that morning. While getting ready to go to the ER I went to the bathroom several time with large amounts of blood- I was starting to worry my blood loss was getting to high and I would pass out. So I laid down and got online (I saw Kyle was on). Troy came back up and we started to leave when I had to get on the toilet again---I passed a blood clot the size of an orange. Yep I know it was only a blood clot because I put my hand in the toilet picked it up to make sure (its always something the doctor asks you---"was it a clots or tissue"). Well then troy opened the door and saw all the blood and my hand full of blood....he didn't do so good with that. So we cleaned me up a little and then got to the ER- i soaked through a bathroom towel just in the drive. Once I go there we talked to the doctor within 5 min of getting there and was sent to the same ultrasound room I went to 3 weeks ago when I found out baby had a heartbeat of 176. So they get us in there and start with an abdominal u/s---well I can already tell from what I have seen with that---there was nothing viable in my uterus. But then they did the vaginal u/s---just tissue-no heartbeat. Troy was a mess, he is a little better now. Then they took me back to the ER and we went over our options---to wait and let nature finish it off (as I was still bleeding/cramping pretty hard) or have a D&C. I decided to let nature take its course. Well about 5 min after we said that I passed another huge clot (yes I checked again) this time the size of a grapefruit---and I know that this means I have active bleeding going on to a higher amount then what was coming out of me. Plus I was starting to get dizzy and my blood pressure was dropping.. So we decided to go for the D&C. I was in the OR by 9:30 and all done at 10:30...it took a little longer because "there were massive amounts of tissue" (doctors words).
The procedure went as good as can be expected, and I'm having some twinges but nothing major for pain. I got antibiotics and percocet and Iron to take (my blood levels were close to needing a transfusion). And now I am home.
We have a follow up appointment on sept 30 where they will re-check me--since there was so much tissue he wasn't sure he got it all. And to let us know the results of the tests he ran on the tissue. If I had to guess.....from the way he said "massive amounts of tissue" I'm guessing there was a twin or triplets and we saw one last time but not the other(s). ( I was wondering that when they did an abdominal u/s on me at 9weeks and not a vaginal that would have gotten a better view-not that it would have changed anything)
We plan on getting right back on the horse though....we will start TTC again after 9/30 if my uterus is clear.


So here is the part that is weird----after this thread and kyle's thread I would like to not talk about this ever again. My coping skills are not normal -I KNOW this. But I NEED to think of this as a medical event. In my brain its not a baby till it can live on its own....so for me- I didn't lose a child ( I ONLY THINK THIS FOR ME!) And Since I'm sharing this about me-I want to throw it all out there---this was my second official spontaneous abortion (I lost triplets 8 yrs ago at about 9 weeks). Plus when I was 18 I believe I had one then also (6weeks). So I promise this isn't a short term coping issue-but its the one that works for me. Please try to understand that this is just me and what I need. Thanks ladies you've been great.

[Patriciamomofboys]

I don't know anyone who copes in this way so I really don't know what to say. I'm glad you are ok and happy to hear you will be trying again.

I am so sorry Angela. For this loss, and the previous ones. I understand having different coping skills then most, and I support you in that. This is terrible this has happened to you and Troy and you are in my thoughts. Let me know if there is anything I can do, I wish there was something I could do

[Alissa&Isabelle'sMommy]

Oh no! I'm so sorry. I've had a miscarriage before. I'm here if you need to talk.

[SandKmommy]

[Kiwi]

Cope with this however you need to. My thoughts are with you hon.

[Brenda04]

[soImarriedAnerd]

Thanks for the hugs ladies!

[alicenwonderland]

I'm so sorry Angela. I'll will be keeping you in my thoughts as you heal in body and mind. *hugs*

[~* Helen *~]

OMFG !!! I am so, so sorry hun Cope however you need to hun xx

[carmen0609]

Oh honey!! Cope however you need to!! When you are feeling better and back to TTC please come back and update us!! Id love to hear from you!

[Angelaosaurus-rex]

((BIG HUGS)) Cope anyway you need to! I am here if you need to talk, about anything maybe about those cute little monkeys you like or whatever!

Crap I feel rotten, I'm so sorry I had sent you a PM about 2 hrs ago before I saw this, I hope it didn't upset you more than things already are I'm so sorry I wish I'd seen this beforehand,apologies if I made the pain worse.

((((((((((((((Angela))))))))))))))) I'm very saddened to hear of this.

[bittersweet]

I'm so sorry for your loss Angela. I can't begin to imagine how you and Troy are doing. You're both in my thoughts.

[soImarriedAnerd]

Crap I feel rotten, I'm so sorry I had sent you a PM about 2 hrs ago before I saw this, I hope it didn't upset you more than things already are I'm so sorry I wish I'd seen this beforehand,apologies if I made the pain worse.

((((((((((((((Angela))))))))))))))) I'm very saddened to hear of this.[/b]

oh hun your TOTALLY fine-it didn't upset me at ALL, not one bit.

((BIG HUGS)) Cope anyway you need to! I am here if you need to talk, about anything maybe about those cute little monkeys you like or whatever![/b]

its a lemur! LOL not a monkey. (thanks for making me smile!)



and thanks for all the hugs and T&P's ladies--you are helping just by doing that.

[IamMom]

I respect your need to cope and heal in your own way. I do want you to know that you are in my thoughts and prayers, Angela. And good for you guys to get right back out there and try again.

If it's TMI, then ignore my Q, but does the doctors know what caused it? i.e. is it something you can look out for in future pregnancy?

((((((((Huggles)))))))

[petalfuzz]

Oh, Angela!! I totally understand you needing to cope however you can! But I'm glad you didn't need a transfusion--be sure to take the iron as prescribed and take some B complex too as they work together in the body to make more blood cells! Not that I need to tell you that, smarty-pants, but I really care about you and your health. Comfort Troy however you can also!

[ANGWife]

Wow, that's all I can say. What a long terrible experience. We all find out own ways to deal with loss, and I don't see anything weird about yours. It's painful, and I'm truly sorry to hear.

[soImarriedAnerd]

If it's TMI, then ignore my Q, but does the doctors know what caused it? i.e. is it something you can look out for in future pregnancy?

((((((((Huggles)))))))[/b]

No problem actually asking medical type questions helps some! .... As of now we are going with mother nature just fixed her mistake (so something just wasn't right and it stopped when it realized it). They are doing testing on the tissue and when I got back for my follow up on the 30th they will tell us if they found anything---but I have to admit-I have no idea what exactly they test for and it didn't occur to me to ask at the time---but I do want to know so I will ask at that appointment.

Does anyone have an idea what it is they test for?

last time we never had tissue to test-I passed it in the toilet and then just followed up with a doctor to make sure I was good and didn't need a D&C-which I didn't.
So this time I may have a real answer, but I'm guessing mother nature will be my answer. My eggs produced two successful (healthy babies) another women so I would think egg wise I'm good. I have had my ovaries scanned more then 50 times in my life and no issue they saw there, uterus always got a clean bill of health also, my cycles are solid 98% of the times so a hormones issues doesn't seem likely. And all 3 m/c were with different guys so I'm the obvious link there.

I believe everything in life all happens for a reason and that the universe has a grand plan...just wish it handed out a playbook with its plan.