[*kyle*]

I had my first OB appointment yesterday. Of course, Eric and I were extremely excited. They do a vaginal ultrasound for everyone right at the beginning in order to date the pregnancy correctly. Well, the midwife said we should be seeing a gestational sac, a yolk sac, and a fetal pole... possibly even a heartbeat if I am as far along as I think I am. So we go to do the ultrasound... there is a gestational sac, with nothing in it. No yolk sac, no fetal pole, and obviously no heartbeat. She kept saying our dates are probably off and it is probably too early, but I looked it up, and at least a yolk sac should be visible by now (should be by 5 weeks, I am supposed to be 6 weeks). And my dates can't be off by more than a few days because I was charting. So it is possible that I am no longer, or never was truly pregnant (i.e. the fertilized egg implanted but never developed into an embryo). Apparently this is quite common and is the reason for about 50% of miscarriages. I have another round of hCG tests and a second ultrasound next Wednesday. The odds are not great. I am not too hopeful right now. I cried a lot yesterday, but now I feel like at least if we caught it early, we could get this pill to bring on the miscarriage and go on with our lives. This is exactly what happened to my friend Jenny back in February.

It irks me that we jumped the gun in telling our families, and those people told other people and now like 300 people know. And I feel very overwhelmed when I think about having to tell all of those people "sorry, never mind." I didn't really want to get into all that so early, but we let our excitement carry us away. Although, as a wise woman (Angela) pointed out to me, it is only considered jumping the gun when the pregnancy doesn't work out. So I can't really beat myself up for it, what's done is done.

I am dealing ok, I have my moments, but then I think about the fact that maybe this embryo never developed in the first place, so I can't really mourn something that was never there. That helps me to remember. What also helps is to think of all of the much more horrible things that could happen to me or to my family. I feel a bit stronger and more optimistic when I realize that, no matter what happens, I will live through this and come out the other side just fine.

[Lash]

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. NO NO NO. NO.

Oh god Kyle I am heartbroken right now. I can imagine the devastating feeling at the doctors office and how hard this is for you (for anyone)

You didnt jump the gun! People typically tell everyone they are pregnant very early on, its really the norm I think. You didnt do anything rash and you were excited.

So when will you know more?

[KatiInCT]

You and Eric are in my thoughts.

[alicenwonderland]

I'm so so so sorry, Kyle.

((((((HUGS)))))))))

That is a terrible appt, I am so sorry Kyle. I am still holding out a lot of hope for you though. 6 weeks is still early, and every woman is different. The sensitivity of the machine matters too. My RE has top of the line equipment, and they refuse to do any ultrasounds earlier then 7 weeks. I have everything crossed for you



When do you get the blood results back?

[soImarriedAnerd]

[~* Helen *~]

Aww sweetie, you are in my thouhgts xx

[midnight_starr]

Oh Kyle I am so sorry.. I am keeping my fingers crossed and holding out some hope for you guys!!

[ScottishBrit]

Oh Kyle!!!! NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I really hope this has not happened!!! Im still gonna hope that there's a lil baby In there!!!

[Mars]

[lauren in hi]

I'm very sorry.

I'm so so sorry to be reading this

I don't think you jumped the gun - we told everyone the day of our BFP or the day after depending on when we saw people. Then I panicked, but DH pointed out... if things go wrong, at least you have the support of those who you love and love you.

I'm so sorry Kyle ((((((((huggles)))))))))) KUP. Be thinking of you both.

Kyle, I am so sorry. I pray that it really is just too early or that their ultrasound machine somehow just didn't see what it needed to be seeing. I'll be thinking of you

[**Jenn**]

I'm so sorry Kyle. Keeping you and Eric in my thoughts and prayers.

[Resi]

I'm sorry, Kyle. I'm also going to hold out hope that it's just too early. Big hugs.

[*Mrs.J.2011*]

I hope its just too early! You and Eric are in my T & Ps!

[Frozendesire]

I'll be thinking of you. *hugs*

[*JenJen*]

Kyle, I hope it is just too early. you are in my thoughts!

[greeneyes]

Oh, Kyle. I'm so sorry to hear this. I'm keeping everything crossed for you in the hopes that it all works out. Let us know if you need anything. *big, fat, huge hugs*

I know a few girls in our DDC had this same thing - I've no idea how far on they were - and it turned out it was too early. I hope this is the case for you guys.