[ShannonMVT]

I'm not sure if I am being overly sensitive or if this is just normal.

My MIL is getting on my nerves. But not for the usual reasons. I have been sending her email updates now and then about how pregnancy is going. Whenever I talk to her on the phone she always acts really happy to know what is going on. I know she likes to be including and "in the know" so I feel like I should keep her apprised of how I'm doing and so forth. I share so much with my mom because we're close and I don't want MIL to feel like she (as the other grandma to be) isn't important too.

But she almost never emails me back! I feel like the least she could do is email back to say "oh I'm glad you aren't feeling nauseous anymore" or "let me know how your appointment with the endocrinologist goes" or something you know? I feel like I am making an effort to include her and then she just ignores the emails most of the time! WTH?

I really don't even feel like talking to her anymore.

Am I being silly? It's okay to say I am....I know I am more emotional in general these days.

[*krista*]

That would tick me off too! I would stop emailing if I were you, but maybe I'm a bit more impatient. It seems to me like if she really cared she would reply. Are you sure she is getting the emails?

[IamMom]

I'd stop emailing and see if she says anything....you said you talk on the phone with her from time to time...that should be enough. It's just something as the mother of a boy that you miss out on I guess.....you're pregnant hun, you get to do and feel whatever the h**l you want right now!!!! Oh, and your always right!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

I don't think you're being silly. One of my big pet peeves is taking the time to drop someone a line (email, text, whatev) and they can't respond. It's fun for you to get mail too, dangit! I'd just stop emailing her and that way if she doesn't have much of a response, she can save those for when you talk to her on the phone or IRL... and if she starts to feel left out of the loop, well oh well! My FMIL wanted to be included in wedding stuff so I'd email her IDEAS and she would just be like "you're doing too much." and then I included her on an email on what I'm doing to honor my (late) father... and she wrote back and was just like "I don't like that." so yeah... love her, but she's not voluntarily included anymore. If she asks, I'll tell her... but that's it. So yeah, I'd cut your MIL out of the emails and just tell her how you are if she asks.

[soImarriedAnerd]

the above advice.

I hate when my family don't reply to my msgs about my preggy updates!! I would perhaps add a line into the next one saying "please let me know if you are getting these?" If you hear nothing back, I would stop mailing her. Or ask her on the phone, just say oh btw are you getting my mails? Just wanted to make sure, maybe reply to one to let me know they're getting through ok.

That way you have a vocal reaction and you could get the feel for if she is reading them at all.

[*JenJen*]

I used to send out email updates about our family when we first moved away and I got totally irritated if they refused to even acknowledge that tehy got them. That's why I switched to the blog format because I know a few people read it and this way they can't complain that I am not updating them.

[*vi]

I hate when my family don't reply to my msgs about my preggy updates!! I would perhaps add a line into the next one saying "please let me know if you are getting these?" If you hear nothing back, I would stop mailing her. Or ask her on the phone, just say oh btw are you getting my mails? Just wanted to make sure, maybe reply to one to let me know they're getting through ok.

That way you have a vocal reaction and you could get the feel for if she is reading them at all.[/b]

I would probably do the same thing. I'm a little cranky at times though so I wouldn't be able to say much, it would soon get me in trouble lol

I used to send out email updates about our family when we first moved away and I got totally irritated if they refused to even acknowledge that tehy got them. That's why I switched to the blog format because I know a few people read it and this way they can't complain that I am not updating them.[/b]

Blogging is a great idea. Send them the link and leave them to it... then we can stalk too hehe!!

[petalfuzz]

Email is weird like that! My parents email regularly (though not to me as I live too close ) but when my mom included my MIL and never heard a response ever--she got dropped from the list. When MIL mentioned something, it turned out she has dial-up and doesn't respond to anyone's email. She "felt horrible" about it, but never sought to change her behavior. Now that she's just out of the loop but I don't hear her complaining--as it was her fault anyway. No one likes talking to a wall!

I ditto the blog idea!

Wow, I suck then b/c I forget to email/PM people back all the time. I stink at thank you cards too. I guess I should work on that?

I have no advice : D

[greeneyes]

I'd be irritated by that, too! I guess you'd have to consider the source, ya know? For instance, my mom e-mails me back right away all the time but my MIL doesn't always. My MIL is also 15 years older than my mom and really isn't of a generation that e-mails, ya know? So it no longer bothers me that she doesn't always respond because that's just how she is. She doesn't mean any harm by it, she's just 60+ years old and doesn't really "do" Internet stuff, lol.

[*Anna*]

Yes I would be bothered too! I agree with the other girls.... and don't email her updates if she doesn't reply. I would just speak to her on the phone as you are now and give her updates that way. And if she wants more, then she'll ask right! And if she misses the emails I'm sure she'll email you or maybe ask you. Then if she does ask you - you could just say you didn't think she was getting them so you haven't replied!

Here's something I was peeved by that my FIL did and said... on my blog I have been putting a few of my belly pics. Now mind you I put them on for my parents who I don't see all the time- maybe every other to every 3rd week. And every time I see my dad he asks if I have a belly and when I will That is cute. He even puts his hand on my belly to feel if its bigger. And I put the pics for my family all over the country. Now my FIL- he is a very nice man, but his opinions drive me crazy... he always has something to say, and he always has to argue. A couple weeks ago he looked at my blog and saw my 13 week pic I believe... and he said to me "that isn't right, you're showing too much skin and everyone can see it" and he posted an anonomous comment (cuz he couldn't figure out how to put his name or he would've) that I need to remove the pic because its inappropriate. So I told him I post my belly pics for people who want to see them and I was deleting his comment. He wasn't happy. So now I don't bring up my blog with him. He's old-fashioned in a way, and thinks differently than I do. And if it wasn't that, he would find something else to criticize. I think he just likes to hear his voice and he likes to be the tough guy setting the record straight.

Ok, sorry to vent in your thread, but I guess it bothered me more than I thought!!! I feel better now!

[Mars]

I guess if I had personally made the effort I would want a response but generally I really am not bothered if I don't get one unless I was specifically asking a question or something like that.

I like the idea of asking the person if they are getting the emails to see if they respond and just not bothering anymore if you hear nothing. If MIL brings it up after you stop email, simply say you couldn't confirm if she was getting them because you never got a response so you stopped. That seems fair enough to me.

The blog is also a great idea!

[ShannonMVT]

I'm sure she is getting them. And she is pretty "with it" as far as internet goes and she does occassionally email back, but probably not 80% of the time. I'm just confused because she is SO into family and including your family in things, etc.
And I know I have asked her things in previous emails like how she and FIL were doing or if she had heard from SIL lately.

I slip up sometimes too with answering emails or PMs but I really do try to respond in a timely manner.

I think I will just stop emailing her. If she wants to know how I am doing, she can email me or call me.

I do like the blog idea but I just feel weird that then probably everyone in the extended family would end up viewing it and no one would comment. That would bug me too. Especially once I am putting cute baby pictures up. Btw, I do have a personal blog that I don't mind sharing with you ladies. I don't want to post the link on here but just let me know if you want to read and don't have the link.

Anna, I have a feeling my inlaws would be the same way about belly pics. I don't share those with that side of the family, just with my mom because I know she gets a kick out of them. That would bug me too if my FIL was making comments like that.

Oh and Shannon, I found it is not worth the effort to try and include others in wedding planning either. Sad but true.

[soImarriedAnerd]

I have my Trying to bring a dream to life blog (which is more my personal blog or people I trust and like). Then While preggers I have a Its a small world blog--this is where I may copy and past a couple of my private blog posts to and share with family (no they aren't in the like group for a few of them--his parents). So I don't really create new posts for the family blog I just paste the more appropriate ones there! So depending on who you are, depends on which one you get! LOL