D&C Scheduling Rant

KatiInCT · #1 December 10th, 2008, 11:16 AM

I don't want to flood the main room with my rants and although I am lurking on the pregnancy loss boards I feel like I know the girls here better and value your support.

I really was hesitant to agree to a D&C to begin with and now with scheduling difficulties I am even more frustrated.

<<TMI FROM HERE DOWN>>

I started dark brown spotting on Sunday. It had tinges of red in it by Monday morning so I called me doctor and they thought it would be appropriate for me to come in even though I had my regular appointment scheduled for Thursday. I went in and they did a belly ultrasound first and couldn't see everything clear enough so I had to go get undressed from the waist down and the doctor did an internal ultrasound. He pointed out the sack and the fetal pole to me and showed me where the heartbeat should be. The embryo measured at 8 weeks 0 days. I should have been 10 weeks, 5 days according to LMP and my charting.

I did have an ultrasound at 7 weeks, 2 days where I measured 6 weeks, 0 days but there was a heartbeat visible. (Side note but I am so sad that DH did not get a chance to see the heartbeat, he was trying to work his work schedule so that he could come to this next appointment but was unable to come to the first.)

The doctor had me get dressed and meet him in his office. We sat down and he told me about my options to either take a pill to induce the bleeding or to have a D&C. He strongly recommended the D&C due to the amount of tissue. Through tear stained eyes I told him that I really wanted to discuss it with my husband before making a decision. He told me to call back the following day to let him know my decision.

During the night Monday night I was up most of the night cramping with heavy bleeding, some small clots and passed two large dark red clots (larger than quarters), and a pink golf ball shaped and sized mass (embryo in sack?).

I called his office yesterday around lunch time and they said they would add my name to the callback list for the doctor. I got the call at 6pm last night. I told him about my previous night and said that I really did not want to have to have a D&C if it was not necessary. He once again strongly recommended the D&C although he said he could give me a script for the pills but it would just result in more pain than the night before and that he is sure there is more tissue that needs to be removed so a D&C should really be done. I finally gave in and agreed to have the D&C. He said I should call his secretary the following morning (today) to schedule.

I originally called at 8:45am this morning, thinking that the office opened at 8am but they didn't open until 9am so I called back at 9:15. The secretary said she would need to coordinate the schedule with his schedule and the hospital and that she would call me back when everything was set to let me know.

I slept most of the morning after that, jumping every time the phone rang. Finally at 1:45pm I see the caller ID has the name of my doctors office on it so I answer thinking that the D&C was scheduled. Instead it was an automated appointment reminder system reminding me of my Thursday appointment (which I obviously don't need anymore). So I called the secretary back to have her cancel that appointment and to check up on the D&C scheduling. She said she had been waiting back for confirmation from the hospital but she is tentatively scheduling it for Monday. Monday?!

Monday will have been 8 days since I started spotting. I left work early this Monday to go to the doctor and took yesterday and today off to heal physically, mentally and emotionally. DH has also taken time off from work because he does not want to leave me alone (he has 1/2 days this week because of parent teacher conferences so at least it isn't full days he is missing and he is fighting off a cold which he may have called in sick for anyways).

Physically I am feeling a lot better today, still mildly crampy and obviously still bleeding but I have a desk job at work so I wouldn't be doing anything strenuous. When I finally mentally agreed and started preparing myself to have the D&C I had it in my head that I would return to work 24 hours after the D&C. But now if that isn't until Monday that means I wouldn't be going back to work until next Wednesday.

My boss emailed me and told me to take as much time as I needed. I know it is an individual balance of getting on with a schedule and taking time to heal and grieve. But I really don't know if I can mentally be productive at work for a day or two if I go back tomorrow and/or Friday only to miss Monday and Tuesday. And I also don't want to use all my sick time up.

I don't even know what advice I am looking for. I am just frustrated that I am having to wait so long and anticipate for so long instead of just being able to move on. Part of the reason I agreed to the D&C is that it would help move things along and get it done faster. But waiting over a week since it all started?

And I don't want to sit home but I also don't want to break down at work (I work in an engineering firm with mostly guys, so they aren't exactly tactful all the time.) And I feel guilty for DH missing work too. I don't know what to do. I hate this feeling of being in limbo.

*tears* *sigh*

alicenwonderland · #2 December 10th, 2008, 03:38 PM

I'm sorry. I understand that you want nothing more than for this part to be over. It stinks that they can't fit you in earlier. It just seems cruel. I'm glad your boss is letting you take all the time you need. Maybe you could take advantage of that time and take the pills. Maybe you would handle it better than the doctor thinks, and you wouldn't even need to go to your scheduled D+C. All the same...