[ShannonMVT]

Last night was really bad for my dad. My mom was up with him until 3:00 a.m. because he was convinced people (a neighbor, his BIL and a distant relative) were going to come kill them. He thinks they have a device that can read his mind. Mom took him back to the dr and the dr wanted him admitted to the hospital. He voluntarily admitted himself to the psych ward that is next/part of the hospital. I think because he thought he'd be safe there from the people he thinks are trying to kill him.
They told my mom he'll be evaluated and likely put on antipsychotic meds. They said he will be there probably 4 weeks, which seems like an awfully long time.
They told her she can call at any time to see how he is doing, but they do not recommend visiting him because he might get agitated and they think visiting him might set him back.

My question for Kyle and Lauren is, is that normal? Going a whole 4 weeks with no one in the family visiting him? He hasn't had any delusions concerning my mom or other close family members. He hasn't been violent. Why would family visiting cause a setback? Wouldn't being isolated from family cause him to slip further into his alternate reality/psychosis?
How are we supposed to know that he is really being taken care of correctly? You DO hear horror stories of family members not taken care correctly, and if we don't visit, how would we even know? Should my mom go in person to talk to his doctors at least?

Any other advice or things we should expect?

I am pretty freaked out because my dad's regular dr told my mom that she thinks there is a strong possibility that even after getting stablized onto meds, that he will need to be taken care of in some sort of nursing/alzheimer's home and doesn't think there's a good chance he can live at home with my mom taking care of him. I'm not sure what makes him think that or if that's the case.

[bittersweet]

Just to fully understand...your dad has brain cancer right? Not a diagnosed psychiatric disorder?

[Lash]

I"m not sure that its standard for a 4 month break from family as I've never seen that recommended and we dont recommend it at our hospital, however I dont work with long term alzheimers or schizophrenia and this could very well be the norm.

Above all else, YES please have your mom talk to the doctors and even do a family consultation session (this is pretty standard) in which the staff will discuss with and educate the entire family on what they believe is the best treatment protocol

[A*LOT*OF*HOPE]

Im very sorry about our dad!!

[SandKmommy]

My mom is a Mental Health Specialist at the local children's Physc unit at our local hospital, and at least for kids I've never herd of them not letting them see their family for that long. I hope they let you guys seem him sooner then that.

[ShannonMVT]

Just to fully understand...your dad has brain cancer right? Not a diagnosed psychiatric disorder?[/b]

He had brain cancer 14 years ago and has been in remission since. They do not see any tumors on his CT scan.

But they think it is possible that the brain damage from radiation has helped lead to his current dementia (or whatever this is).

I"m not sure that its standard for a 4 month break from family[/b]

Just to clarify, it is 4 weeks, not 4 months. I don't know what your experience is with that long of a break?

I'm not sure when he is going to be evaluated, as it's the weekend. My mom is going to call them tomorrow and find out. She probably didn't find out all the specifics since she was functioning on about 3 hours of bad sleep.
I will have her find out what sort of consultation she can do with the Dr and when.

[Lash]

I think there are many many possible diagnoses here and I really really urge you guys to get multiple opinions and specifically brain scans because treatment recommendations and medications will differ depending on what specific diagnosis he will receive as well as the cause of the diagnosis.

I can't tell you how strongly I urge you to get many opinions and testing because it could make all the difference. Dont let them write this off as brain damage when it could very well have nothing to do with brain damage from radiation and could be an entire different or other organic cause. This could really make a difference in his quality of life, even if his symptoms continue and he does not become the father you remember

oops i meant to type either 4 weeks or a month and ended up combining those words!

If they dont offer consultation and education family sessions, especially with him being there that long, then you need to be looking to move him elsewhere.

[ShannonMVT]

Thanks Lauren. I know so far they have done bloodwork, urinalysis, two CT scans. He was supposed to have an MRI on Feb. 11 so maybe that will get bumped up. He was/is seeing a neurologist also.

I'm not sure what possible diagnoses there even are? Or if I should be trying to speculate/research them?

I'm so sorry Shannon At least in one respect, he's in a place now where he can get help and hopefully get a diagnosis and treatment. Also he is safe, and as much as this may be painful to hear - your mum can get some rest.

KUP ((((((huggles)))))

[soImarriedAnerd]

So sorry to hear this. I agree completely with lash---multiple opinions on this one (physical AND psychiatric)! And NO do NOT start googling things! Wait till they have an better idea then of course learn more about that, random googling isn't going to make you feel better.
I was a mental health aide at our state psychiatric hospital, we had 2 weeks no family for people who were going through detox, but never a 4 week no visitor rule, that does seem like a long time (if thats their rules though you kind of have to go by them--but this doesn't mean your mom can't call the doctor or nurse who is taking care of him DAILY to find out updates!). I think we were more 72 hours for evaluation. I say I think since I was never the nurse there so I don't know all of the specifics.

[petalfuzz]

I'm so sorry about your dad! I hope you can visit him sooner than that--it seems extreme! But maybe it's just during the diagonstic phase or something. I'll keep your family in my thoughts, for sure!!

[♥Ashley♥]

Im so sorry Shannon!!

[Mars]

I'm so sorry about your dad. Hopefully he can get a proper diagnosis soon.

[.Brandi.]

I'm so sorry Shannon, I hope you get answers soon. Your dad and you and your family are in my thoughts and prayers!!!

[midnight_starr]

I'm so sorry hon!

[*kyle*]

Lauren has essentially covered what I was going to say. I agree on getting second, third and even fourth opinions because of the range of diagnoses. We could be looking at degenerative dementia or acute delirium, schizophrenia, tumor, closed head injury, and several others which present with paranoia and personality changes. Each of these possible causes has a wide range of treatments and expected outcomes. DO NOT google or research anything yet. It will not do you, or your family ANY good!!! You'll just end up with a bunch of knowledge and no context to apply that knowledge. Let the doctors provide the context and diagnosis first, then do your research.

I've never heard of a no-visitor rule for 4 weeks. ETA: except for inpatient drug/alcohol rehab. I have heard of a no-visitor rule during 72-hour suicide watch and I have heard of some very old research that schizophrenics in recovery tend to relapse when they resume regular contact with their families. If schizophrenia or some variation thereof turns out to be the cause, with today's effective modern medications I don't think this would continue to be true. Also, an onset with schizophrenia this late in life is very rare. If nothing else, there is no harm in asking WHY they don't like visitors for 4 weeks. If you don't understand or don't like the first answer you get, then seek out the person the next level up and ask them. Keep asking until you understand the reason given and decide whether, as a family, you either agree or don't agree with it.

[**Jenn**]

I'm so sorry Shannon. I'll be keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. *HUGS*

[*krista*]

I'm sorry Shannon! I really hope it doesn't take a full 4 weeks to get your answers. KUP.

[ShannonMVT]

They didn't say absolutely no visiting, just said they didn't recommend it. I told my mom last night that I think she should talk to the doctors about how he is doing and play it by ear. Maybe further into his treatment would be okay. I would *think* it all depends on how he responds to medication/treatment. Even if we can't visit, I think I will call or get my mom to call and ask about sending flowers, cards, books, cookies, what they think would be okay.

Kyle and Lauren, another question for you. How should my family go about getting 2nd opinions? Would he need to be taken to another facility/hospital? How would that work if he is at this place for 4 weeks? Take him to someone else after the 4 weeks is up? Or just ask them for another consult/opinion? Should we get multiple opinions from more than one neurologist and more than one pyschiatrist? Any other specialists?

Thank you girls, for helping me with this. And everyone for the good wishes.

[*kyle*]

Your first step in arranging for multiple opinions is to give the first set of doctors time to diagnose. Since there are several specialists involved, chances are they will come together in one place after all of the tests have been run, they will meet all together to present each specialist's findings and then discuss the possibilities. After that meeting takes place, they should arrange for a family consultation as Lauren mentioned. This is where they'll give you guys the most likely diagnosis and they should be able to back that up with their test results and findings. They should be able to tell you how confident they are that they've arrived at the most accurate diagnosis. They may say things like "there is a small, less than 5% chance that a brain tumor is really to blame here that hasn't been picked up by our scans." When you attend the family consultation, come prepared with a list of questions. i.e. What findings led you to this particular diagnosis? How confident are you that your diagnosis is correct? What are some of the other diagnoses you considered? Are there any symptoms that DON'T seem to agree with the diagnosis you've assigned? Could there be more than one cause happening simultaneously to account for all of the symptoms? What is the expected outcome (cure, management, short and long term functioning)? What treatments have the best results? How quickly can we expect to see those results?

Once you get ALL of your questions answered, you'll usually have a gut feeling whether you trust their diagnosis or not. Your dad might be an open and shut, textbook case of one disorder, or you may notice that some of the test results didn't seem to line up or that the doctors seem to be explaining away potentially important information. If you do decide to pursue another opinion, then the best way to do this is to inform the first set of doctors that you'd like to seek a consultation with another set of doctors. They can either bring in colleagues to review the existing file, or you have the option to discharge your father (probably against medical advice) and take him to a different hospital for a brand-new workup.