Baby shower for second baby

IamMom · #1 February 20th, 2009, 09:40 AM

So I've been talking to my mom about a baby shower for this baby. I know that traditionally its not proper to have a baby shower for second babies (I personally don't feel this way - I think there is never a bad excuse or improper reason to have a party!) but I'm wondering if in my situation it might be okay and here are the reasons:

- I live in a different state with a whole new set of friends who did not know me or attend my baby shower for DH (I mean DS - duh!) (which was put on by the people at my work in VA)

- The shower at work was nice - but time was limited and we had so many people that it was a little impersonal and we didn't get to play games and all that - just each cake and open presents.

- My mom did not live near me and although she came to my work shower she did not get to help in planning it ect.

- I am having a girl this time and every single thing I got (besides the big stuff) was gender specific to a boy - so I NEED girl stuff bad!

With all that said - what you you all think - could mom and I throw a baby shower and get away with it??? I really think it would be fun....

#2 February 20th, 2009, 09:46 AM

Heck yeah you can! I think second baby showers are perfectly fine. No reason is a bad reason to celebrate and party. And you do have some good reasons for wanting one now too, in fact, I am sure yoru new friends and mom would really love it!

chellerenee · #3 February 20th, 2009, 09:52 AM

Personally, I think it's kind of dumb that it's not "proper" to have a baby shower other than with your first. Why is it not proper to help welcome a baby, even if it's not the first, you know?

I think it is fine to have another one. Especially since you have new friends who will probably want you to have one anyways, and you're having a girl this time. I register women at work who are on their 4th or 5th child and they still have a shower. My sister had another shower when she had the twins. No one had a problem with it.

Michelle

freesiangel · #4 February 20th, 2009, 10:02 AM

I didn't even realize it wasn't "proper" to have a baby shower for later babies... Everyone in my family has always had showers for every baby and it never seemed weird and no one ever said anything. Guess it depends on who your friends and family are.

Emma&Jack's Momma · #5 February 20th, 2009, 10:04 AM

We are having another shower. For much of the same reasons...this is DH's first biological child (he treats Emma just like she's his, though he wasnt there in the beginning), all of my friends and family on his side were not present during my pregnancy with Emma and I'm having a boy this time. I won't be inviting my family to this shower, although I will invite my closest friends, even though they were at my shower with Emma!

Mars · #6 February 20th, 2009, 10:08 AM

I never understood why people say that it's not proper or inappropriate to have showers for "subsequent" siblings. I think you should celebrate every child. Anyway, I've heard a couple persons mentioned the term Baby Sprinkle which is like a scaled down version of a shower so if you feel "weird" about the second shower thing, you could call it a Sprinkle instead.

**Jenn** · #7 February 20th, 2009, 10:21 AM

I think it's really silly not to have showers for subsequent children. Its not "done" in my family so I didn't get a second shower when I was pregnant with Lochlann. Even though he was the same gender he was born in the complete opposite season so I still needed to buy all new clothes for him! We had a welcoming party when he was 7 or 8 weeks old but I guess because he wasn't our first no one really came to it.

It was actually pretty hurtful to me that he wasn't welcomed in the same way Liam was (shower or not). It was like saying, you had your first, the excitement is over. I am a firm believer in that EVERY child should be celebrated, not just the first! I hope you have a great shower for little Nora!!!

Frozendesire · #8 February 20th, 2009, 12:07 PM

I had a baby shower for Dustin. He's my second child, another boy, and he was born in the exact same season as Curtis haha.

I doesn't see why not. I think you SHOULD celebrate all your children!

I had a work shower with Curtis and three people showed. This time I had lots of family and friends, it was SO fun!

#9 February 20th, 2009, 12:43 PM

Baby showers aren't the "done thing" in the UK - I'm jealous of you girls, they always sound such fun!! I didn't know it wasn't proper for a second baby to have a shower tho... I can't see why not!! You're celebrating your imminent arrival!

Frozendesire · #10 February 20th, 2009, 12:45 PM

Oh and just a thought... maybe if you made it a chance to see baby? Like after baby is born then it's more of a "meet and greet" baby then a baby shower? I know that made me feel a bit more comfier cause everyone wanted to come just to meet Dustin

Just a thought!

IamMom · #11 February 20th, 2009, 01:00 PM

I personally have never experienced first hand any telling me a baby shower for a second baby was wrong....however I don't think I've ever been invited to a second baby baby shower. My sister never found out what she was having and I don't think I was invited to a baby shower of her's ever so I can't go by that experience. I don't have many IRL friends/cousins on their second baby yet other than sister. So I don't know where I got this idea that it isn't traditional to do a baby shower for a subsequent child but I guess I got it from somewhere. I don't really do things traditionally though when it comes to stuff like this (like my marriage and all that - not traditional at all!) so I think I'm going to go for it!

Thanks girls for the advice and the reassurance that Nora deserves a party! I couldn't agree more that people need a party for each baby. You know now that I think about it- a girl at my work in VA got a baby shower for her second (and that is where some scuttle butt came up about a shower for a 2nd baby I think) but she didn't work there for her first so we wanted to throw her one....and she suggested like everyone bring "books" as gifts or whatever (she was having a second girl) that way she didn't get a bunch of stuff she already had and the new little girl would have her own books and things....I think that's how it was.

Anyway thanks for all your thoughts!!!!

bittersweet · #12 February 20th, 2009, 01:05 PM

You know...my mom and I were just talking about this. I had no idea it wasnt considered proper. Her boyfriend's daughter is due with her 2nd baby (has a little boy, due with a girl also). We were planning when my mom is going to visit b/c she doesnt want to come around the due date of the baby (rolling eyes). I asked when the shower was and she said she didnt think she was having one...afterall it is her 2nd baby.

News to me! I think that is silly. I know at least at work we throw baby showers for anyone with a baby due. Afterall, women have bridal showers for 2nd weddings. Not really the same thing, but its happy event people want to celebrate with you.

Lash · #13 February 20th, 2009, 05:06 PM

I"m doing my first baby shower after the baby is actually born, and I think this is a great way to "get around" this silly impromper idea that you cant celebrate every baby. Have it right after the birth!

ShannonMVT · #14 February 20th, 2009, 05:24 PM

I think every baby should be celebrated. Even if it's your 8th baby and you have everything you need and you're just having a little party without gifts.

I think most anything goes these days except throwing a shower for yourself.

.Brandi. · #15 February 20th, 2009, 07:31 PM

My aunt has 5 children, two are only 18 months apart. And she had 5 baby showers!!! Absolutely have a baby shower. Sort of make it a celebration for the new life, but maybe put on the back of the invite "For those who would like to bring a gift: I'm registered here and here." That way they feel like you not just doing it to get gifts but to celebrate your baby girl with friends and family.....you're wanting their company in celebrating this new and beautiful life. Every baby should have it's own shin-dig!!!

SandKmommy · #16 February 20th, 2009, 09:55 PM

I'm having a baby shower for Kieran. We had nothing(we bought a ton with taxes) and are starting over plus its a different sex.

I see no problem having a 2nd+ baby shower for if its a different sex, if you are "starting" over or theres a huge age gap.

ScottishBrit · #17 February 20th, 2009, 10:05 PM

My friend had a girl a year ago and is due with a boy in May and she's having another shower. I would too. I agree that every baby should be celebrated. I dont think I'd have a big one if It were the same sex maybe just a lunch gathering type thing but I'd still want some kind of shower...