So I still haven't put up my doula deposit . . .

#1 February 27th, 2009, 01:43 PM

B/c I am afraid it will be a waste of money. $600! I like her a lot, but I am really looking for someone to tell the hospital staff whats up, so I can concentrate on labor. And for someone to help with positions and massage and all that too I guess.

Now that I write all that out, I am just worried she won't be upfront enough about my desires, and then I will go ape######. I need to chillax, but there are so many horror stories out there, and I am always like, "WTH was the doula doing?" I need some muscle!

Someone help me feel better about paying the doula. . . please

*krista* · #2 February 27th, 2009, 05:25 PM

How experienced is she? Has she told you her stories of how she handled conflict in the hospitals? Maybe you could get references?

Forgive me if any of this sounds outlandished, I've never had to look for a doula before, so I don't know what the norm is. Maybe if you got some more info from her you will for more at ease. I think that is a reasonable request.

thepinkleprechaun · #3 February 28th, 2009, 03:16 AM

Check out my birth story if you haven't yet....there is NO WAY I would have made it through going natural without my doula! It was well worth the $500 we paid, and I would pay more if I needed to do it again! Doulas know all kinds of tricks that you would never even think about, and they really come in handy when you get into active labor!
Trust me...totally worth it.

ETA: Just make sure she knows your expectations and what is important to YOU. Because she is going to be working for you and being your advocate, so if you aren't really clear on what you want her to do...kwim?

LisanAndy · #4 February 28th, 2009, 03:24 AM

I don't know many things about doulas, just wanted to wish you good luck!

greeneyes · #5 February 28th, 2009, 09:44 AM

I'm not sure about your Doula, but I know all of the Doulas I interviewed made it very clear hat they were there as a labor support person and would not be interacting with the hospital staff on my behalf. They can give you advice but ultimately you will need to be your own advocate. If you are wanting a Doula to run interference or act as a buffer zone for you with medical personnel, I would be sure and let her know so she can tell you if she's willing to do that or not.

My Doula was worth every penny we paid her ($600) and I would hire her all over again a heartbeat.

ShannonMVT · #6 February 28th, 2009, 02:48 PM

I'd say talk to her again about what you feel her role is going to be and maybe that will help you feel more comfortable with her.

I know you are an assertive person, but of course, while in labor it may be harder to stand up for what you want.

In my case I am NOT assertive, but I can tell my doula is. She told me that she cannot tell the nurses "Shannon doesn't want you to offer pain medication", but she WILL say things like "I think you said that you did not want to offered pain medication, isn't that right Shannon?" At which point I say "Yes, that's right".

Clarify with your doula about what her role will be both as labor support and as running interference between you and the hospital staff.

Resi · #7 February 28th, 2009, 03:42 PM

The doula won't speak to the hospital staff on your behalf. All of the ones I interviewed said it wasn't their place to do so.

thepinkleprechaun · #8 February 28th, 2009, 04:56 PM

Yeah, but they will help you out when you are like 8 cm dilated and "in the zone" kwim?
My doula would say stuff like "I think Katie wanted this, right Katie?" and at that point I only had to provide a short answer which was awesome because I didn't really feel like talking!

#9 February 28th, 2009, 06:47 PM

She did say some things about how to talk to the hospital staff, I just can't remember.

I have the worst preggo brain in the history of preggos. I think my brain leaks out my ear at night

I will talk to her some more. Thanks girls

ShannonMVT · #10 February 28th, 2009, 09:49 PM

Quote:

I think my brain leaks out my ear at night[/b]

Same here. And then I get mad at my Dh when I bring him to appointments (so he can hear everything as well) and then HE doesn't remember stuff either!

soImarriedAnerd · #11 March 1st, 2009, 08:17 AM

We are NOT allowed to talk FOR you to the staff, but the we all have ways of getting the point across to them by doing the whole "Michelle's birthplan states this" or doing the question thing where all you have to say is yes or no.
I'm biased since I am a doula but I think its worth its weight in gold! The Chicago ones I have looked up are a little over $1000!!! It was one of the reasons we had a little saving booster for pregnancy was for a doula! Also check with your insurance company--some WILL cover the fees!