Placed in a hard spot

ANGWife · #1 March 10th, 2009, 06:37 AM

I'd like opinions please!

DH has been asked to attend another training for his job that is 2 hrs away. The training is 6 days long and he'd stay overnight so he'd be gone the entire time. It's a great opportunity and he's excited they even asked.

The problem is, the training is when I'm 36-37 weeks pregnant. My OB has already told me that she won't stop labor after 36 weeks if things continue to progress well. Granted I could make it all the way to 40 weeks. But since being in preterm labor before, it worries me that I could have the baby while he is away. Alot can happen in the 2-3 hrs it would take him to get to our hospital. It's going to be one of the most important days in our lives and I would be devastated if he missed it. On the other hand, if I make it past 37 weeks, I will feel horrible and silly that he missed his training. As it is, he'll be gone for 2 weeks in June for Army training. However, that's AFTER baby has arrived.

I've tried very hard not to stress over getting ready for baby and worrying about things I cannot control (ie. when I go into labor). But now I feel I've been put in this tough spot. I don't want to be unreasonable and hormonal, but I'm not sure if he should go.

Mars · #2 March 10th, 2009, 09:20 AM

That's a tough call and I really don't know what to suggest but I hope you guys can come up with a solution.

Mod-LadyCoconut · #3 March 10th, 2009, 09:34 AM

Well 36-37 weeks is still pretty early, & if he could be to the hospital within 2-3 hours... I think that it would be okay for him to go. For first time moms, it *USUALLY* takes quite a bit longer than that, & he would have time to get there. Although while typing this all I can think of is nikki and how none of that is true for her, haha. *sigh* I don't know, it's a tough one.

ANGWife · #4 March 10th, 2009, 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladycoconut

although while typing this all i can think of is nikki and how none of that is true for her, haha. *sigh* i don't know, it's a tough one.

exactly!

**Jenn** · #5 March 10th, 2009, 10:03 AM

If it was me I would let him go. 36-37 weeks is still early and 2-3 hours should be plenty of time for him to get to the hospital. Just make sure if he is away and you even *think* labor may be starting to get his butt home! If I remember correctly Nikki said she was in denial she was in labor for the first few hours! LOL

Maybe at your next appointment you can get checked and if anything is going on then that would be reason enough for him to skip the training. If not just take it really easy while he was away and I'm sure your little guy will hold out til he comes back!

Resi · #6 March 10th, 2009, 10:07 AM

If it was my husband I would let him go to the training. 36-37 weeks is early and you most likely won't go into labor until after that time frame. If you do I doubt you will have the baby in 2-3 hours. He would most likely make it back in time for sure. I think what happened to Nikki is rare.

*Anna* · #7 March 10th, 2009, 10:45 AM

I agree with Shannon and Jenn and Resi- and I would say let him go. 2-3 hours is enough time to make it, with Nikki being the rarest of situations.

My DH was going to leave tomorrow for a bowling tourney in Vegas, and that is 4-5 hr flight... I said no way- cuz I'll be 35-36 wks... and DH said yea he wouldn't want to chance missing the birth of our first baby. But a 4-5 hr flight is ifferent than a 2-3 hour drive!

Hope you both come up with a solution!!!

#8 March 10th, 2009, 11:11 AM

Honestly, I think he should go. It's pretty un-likely that you will go that early, and even more un-likely that you would go from "I think this is labor" to the baby being born in the time that it would take him to get to the hospital. I understand the concern though, I would feel the same way!

#9 March 10th, 2009, 11:11 AM

Honestly, I think he should go. It's pretty un-likely that you will go that early, and even more un-likely that you would go from "I think this is labor" to the baby being born in the time that it would take him to get to the hospital. I understand the concern though, I would feel the same way!

greeneyes · #10 March 10th, 2009, 02:42 PM

Haha, I guess I'm the only Nervous Nelly in the bunch!

I've gone into labor on my due date TWICE now and I still would be telling hubby to find a way out of training if I'm 35+ weeks pregnant. That's just my nature though, I'm pretty neurotic, haha.

Angelaosaurus-rex · #11 March 10th, 2009, 02:58 PM

I made my husband miss a 45 day filed rotation because I was on bed rest. That was hard to do I had to e-mail the Ltc's wife and beg her to beg her husband LOL!!! I would make him stay. I'm sure they will offer the class again, like you said its a once in a life time thing!!! Let us know what you decide!

OT- have you decided on any names yet?

soImarriedAnerd · #12 March 11th, 2009, 12:35 AM

I would let him go. Its very unusual to go early AND that fast. Nikki was odd for being that fast (i don't think she was early though) and only 1 of 2 women I can name that did that!

petalfuzz · #13 March 11th, 2009, 04:50 AM

I would let him go. There are a lot of emotions flying around right now about it, but I still think that you won't go into labor during that time.

*krista* · #14 March 11th, 2009, 06:20 AM

Is this his only opportunity to go through the training, or will it be the only opportunity for a while? If so, I would let him go.

greeneyes · #15 March 11th, 2009, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by soImarriedAnerd

I would let him go. Its very unusual to go early AND that fast. Nikki was odd for being that fast (i don't think she was early though) and only 1 of 2 women I can name that did that!

Wasn't she four or five weeks early? But I do agree, that is very rare. Still, when it comes to childbirth you just never know what might happen!

niknok · #16 March 11th, 2009, 01:03 PM

Sorry so MIA ladies! Drake lots to be held alot, and while that let's me read the board, I haven't found a way to type yet. I've kept up with everyone, I just can't find time to post replies. He's taking an afternoon nap right now.

I was 38 weeks and 3 days when I had Drake. My ctxs felt completely different than my BH, but like I said it was denial. I truly believed the cramps/ctxs were from a morning exam by my midwife. And it was a good 4 hours before I believed it could be real. With that said, I'd just like to emphasize how different BH were from my real contractions. You WILL know the difference!!! And I had 4-8 BH an hour from 23 weeks on.

Now as far as my DH not making it, this is what everyone was forgetting.....HIS CELL PHONE WAS DEAD!!! I'm still a little bitter, but trying not to dwell on. Yes he was working out of town, but he was back in Charlotte by the time I had Drake. He was just working at a Charlotte office. And since his lovely cell phone wasn't charged, he didn't know I'd gone to the hospital.

So, with all that said, I'd tell him to go. Just make darn sure you can get in touch with him immediately! Tell him to charge that phone.

And BTW, it wasn't all that tragic without him. I love my DH, but ALL I cared about at the time was getting that baby OUT!!! When I was in transition, I wouldn't have cared if you'd told me he was in Egypt, as long as that baby came out soon.

One more thing, my labor from first teeny cramp to delivery was only 7 hours. Extremely unusual for a primip.