[ShannonMVT]

Let's say that you are not 100% decided on a baby name and people keep asking you what the baby's name is going to be. We *think* we have it narrowed down to a couple and we have a leaning towards one but I don't really want to tell everyone, "It's going to be ____ " and then we want to change our minds, KWIM? Dh is also a little funny about not wanting outside input and I'm not crazy about it either.
I know I'm going to get asked a million times at my baby shower next weekend. So should I:

A. Tell them "We have no idea" and enjoy the appalled looks on their faces before they launch into a story about how they knew someone who didn't decide before they gave birth and wound up giving their baby some crazy name that they hated later.

B. Tell them "We've narrowed it down but aren't totally decided yet." And then of course they always ask, "Well which names are you considering?" This drives us NUTS because then they will weigh in on which one they like more and I really don't WANT to know that they hate one of the names we like.

C. Tell them "We aren't sharing the name." I haven't tried this but probably people will think I'm being rude.

Or something else???

[**Jenn**]

We kept Lochlann's name a secret until he was born for exactly the reason you mentioned--we didn't want outside negative opinions. We learned that lesson the hard way when we shared Liam's name. Now we still did get a couple comments when he was born but they were FAR less than we would have gotten if we shared before.

We just told people "We're keeping it a secret!" To me it sounded less rude than "We aren't sharing" and everyone took our response well. Saying you haven't narrowed it down yet is a good option too or say you have a couple names and are waiting til he's born to decide the perfect one for him.

Good luck choosing!!!

[ANGWife]

People ask us all the time and we just say "It's a secret." I'd rather hear suggestions than how much they hate the one we picked. Almost everyone is cool with it, a few relatives are being pushy but no one thinks it's rude (at least I hope! lol)

[*Anna*]

I think what I would say is "we're going to announce it when he's born." or "we have a couple names we like and we're going to pick when we meet him"

And I don't think its rude, actually we have our name picked, but still I don't want to tell everyone- and we just say we don't know yet.

[ShannonMVT]

Morgan, I thought you had his name picked? Or were just sharing on JM and not with people IRL?

Thanks, maybe "it's a secret and we'll announce when he's born" will work. I'm still afraid to say we have a couple we are choosing once he is born because then they want to know which couple we are considering and I've had some people be fairly pester-y about wanting me to tell them which couple we've narrowed it down to.

[bittersweet]

You could say something like "Well we havent picked anything yet...there are just so many names we like" Then when they ask, like what....which they will. Just name off some random names you are not even considering just to let them talk about it with you. That way your feelings wont be hurt when they bash some of the names you mention.

Then as you near delivery, if you are really set on not announcing the name just say so.

I feel the same about why you dont really want to talk about it. I wanted not to announce the name until the birth. But then I thought how would I feel if I had a daughter and she was expecting my first grandchild and then told me she wasnt going to discuss the name choices or tell me what they planned on naming the baby. I think I would feel really hurt and left out.

But I hope, no matter what you decide, your family will be respectful of your choice.

[**Jenn**]

Originally Posted by bittersweet

You could say something like "Well we havent picked anything yet...there are just so many names we like" Then when they ask, like what....which they will. Just name off some random names you are not even considering just to let them talk about it with you. That way your feelings wont be hurt when they bash some of the names you mention.

Then as you near delivery, if you are really set on not announcing the name just say so.

I feel the same about why you dont really want to talk about it. I wanted not to announce the name until the birth. But then I thought how would I feel if I had a daughter and she was expecting my first grandchild and then told me she wasnt going to discuss the name choices or tell me what they planned on naming the baby. I think I would feel really hurt and left out.

But I hope, no matter what you decide, your family will be respectful of your choice.

I felt the same way that's why we shared with our parents but no one else!

[ShannonMVT]

It's not really a problem with close family. They are all respectful about not bashing any names we are considering. I've talked with my mom about which names we like and I've mentioned some to my MIL as well.
It's more people like co-workers, more distant relatives, etc.

[IamMom]

I don't think it is rude at all to say your keeping it a secret....especially if you are telling people the sex....I mean come on you have to have something for people to anticipate! I think most people would totally respect that you are keeping the name to yourself. Or you could say that you will pick when you see what he looks like etc. For instance, my parents had names picked out for "a girl with blond hair/blue eyes", a "girl with dark hair/blue eyes" - etc. etc. No joke - so you could say something like that too. OR just say you have to pee and run to the bathroom !!!!!

[LaLaRose3]

My closest family were the WORST about berating Alice's name. That still annoys me... my stepmother doesn't even call her Alice. She calls her "Gracie", because that is what SHE wants to name her.

Anyway, I would go with saying that you are keeping the name a secret. It isn't rude!

Well, personally, if I didn't want to share my possibilities, I would lie and do the "We have no idea!" route

[.Brandi.]

You could say that you're waiting until he's born to see what name suits him. A lot of people do that!!! I had a friend who was having a girl and I asked her if she had a name yet and she said, "No, I'm waiting until she's born to see what name fits her."

[ANGWife]

Originally Posted by ShannonMVT

Morgan, I thought you had his name picked? Or were just sharing on JM and not with people IRL?

Yep we picked out the name in December . But no one in our family knows. We've told our coworkers and friends that we know can keep a secret. The biggest reason we aren't telling is because we're naming him after my late grandmother and it will make a wonderful surprise.

[**jessie**]

I would go with, the name when be announced when the baby is born. I know that is what we are going to do. We will announce the gender when we know it, but the name will be kept secret. I think people feels it's okay to give their opinions on the name just because the baby is not born yet. I don't think I could stand for other people's criticism of a name we chose for our child.

[~* Helen *~]

We just tell people we haven't thought of any yet ... which in all honesty we haven't lol !!

[soImarriedAnerd]

I think its easier when you don't know the sex. People rarely ask me. But I did tell my mom and DH's parents that we are announcing at birth our choice and the sex! LOL
Its a secret is perfect for us.

[niknok]

I always said, "We believe in meeting him before naming him". People didn't get offended. And if they asked for samples names we liked, I'd give ones we'd already eliminated, just to get them off my back. I HATED people giving me their opinion. And that's why we wouldn't tell anyone Drake's name. And we truly did want to see his little face to make sure it was the right name.

[Mars]

I think the one to say that you want to meet him before you name him is a good option. And I don't think it's rude to say that you don't want to share your child's name until birth.

[ScottishBrit]

I honestly think If you like the name then It shouldn't matter what people think or say. If I didn't want people to know then I would just say we haven't decided yet and if they ask your opptions then I would say it's a secret..