at a crossroads

lauren in hi · #1 April 1st, 2009, 11:24 PM

IDK what to do. I cannot get Joshua latched on...at most if I'm lucky it's a couple of seconds...otherwise he'll either just scream bloody murder or do it improperly. I don't want to put him on formula (though I've been giving him some at night due to supply and trying to get him to sleep longer than 2 hrs. at a time--which doesn't work that often), but at the same time the thought of continuing to pump 6x a day depresses me. I had problems nursing DD as well, but we ended up just BFing a couple of times a day...she finally decided to cooperate for me at 3 wks. Well, Joshua is 3.5 wks. and no sign of things improving.

I'm seeing a LC on Friday but don't really have my hopes up. I don't feel like anyone IRL understands and it's really grating on me. DH said everyone supports me and I shouldn't feel pressured, but I do. And I don't buy that everyone supports me because it sure doesn't feel that way. I totally thought I'd be successful this time around because I had some experience, I've read The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding from La Leche League, etc. etc. I'd like to be able to devote more time to working w/ Josh, but it's hard when I am never alone and someone always wants something from me. I'm having a really difficult time w/ this, and I totally hate it.

If you made it this far, thanks for listening.

soImarriedAnerd · #2 April 1st, 2009, 11:27 PM

Do you know about this--LLL Hotline at any time: 877-452-5324

Give them a call its free!

#3 April 2nd, 2009, 12:04 AM

((((((lauren))))))

Have you watched the videos on kellymom.com? Or search for breastfeeding videos on youtube. I did this before I had Kirsty and found it was invaluable to our BFing in the early days. Do you have a boppy pillow? Does he take the bottle ok? If so, would you try nipple shields? Maybe someone else can advise on that - I know Amy (scottishbrit) used them.

p.s. stop by the BFing board, i found a lot of help and support there.

lauren in hi · #4 April 2nd, 2009, 12:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Fiona*

((((((lauren))))))

Have you watched the videos on kellymom.com? Or search for breastfeeding videos on youtube. I did this before I had Kirsty and found it was invaluable to our BFing in the early days. Do you have a boppy pillow? Does he take the bottle ok? If so, would you try nipple shields? Maybe someone else can advise on that - I know Amy (scottishbrit) used them.

p.s. stop by the BFing board, i found a lot of help and support there.

I've tried nipple shields, thera shells, and the Lansinoh latch assist. I have been able to BF before, so it's extra frustrating that it's not working this time. I do have a boppy & I don't like it at all. I can't get comfortable at all. I'm pretty much limited to BF in bed sitting up--or should I say trying to--right now I have MIL staying at our house for a few days so I'm not in the mood to go the living room where my glider is. (And there is no room whatsoever in the bedroom for the glider, unfortunately.) I did have a multitude of people try to help me when I was in the hospital, and none of them could get him to BF, not even the LCs there. Of course, he did have jaundice and was a little bit early, so that didn't help matters.

He will take a bottle, but if we use the ones w/ the "natural" type nipples, he doesn't always have a good grip and ends up dribbling quite a bit of milk. So he mostly gets EBM.

thanks for the suggestions about the videos...i should look into that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by soImarriedAnerd

Do you know about this--LLL Hotline at any time: 877-452-5324

Give them a call its free!

thanks...maybe i'll call if the lcs can't help us. i find it a bit daunting to contact them...i feel guilty 'cause he has had formula, bottles, etc.

soImarriedAnerd · #5 April 2nd, 2009, 01:29 AM

Try not to feel guilty--your trying and no one is perfect at this...give them a call--they are there to help not to criticize!

Since he never had a good latch you may want to also have the LC check out his mouth--could be there is a tongue issue or a gum/lip issue....its not uncommon to need a babies tongue frenulum or upper lip frenulum snipped because its to long (niknok I believe had this issue with Drake) Frenulum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
If he feeds better on one side then the other--it could be he needs a chiropractor adjustment (its common for babies necks to be misaligned post birth and they prefer one side to the other because its easier on their neck).

#6 April 2nd, 2009, 01:33 AM

dont feel guilty!! you're doing everything you can to ensure your baby is fed, no one can ever judge you for that. they are there to help not tell you off.

i havent tried it but have you tried the rugby ball hold?

p.s. sorry to be so nosey... how are your nipples? any cracking or soreness?

Mars · #7 April 2nd, 2009, 04:45 AM

Don't feel guilty! You are trying very hard and that's the greatest thing. Keep at it and hopefully he will latch on properly soon. I hope the LC can help. Though breastfeeding should be their natural instinct, some babies are just too "lazy" to be bothered with putting in the effort. I think the people who "matter" to you will be sure to support you and those are the ones that matter.

One of my sister had short nipples with large breast and my nephew decided that trying to breastfeed was too much work for him so he didn't put in the effort to. Plus he had gotten a bottle when he was in the hospital and since that was way easier he wanted to do that. So she pumped as long as she could but he started formula early as well.

Resi · #8 April 2nd, 2009, 05:16 AM

Don't feel guilty. You are trying your hardest to make it work. I hope the LC can work with you on this and maybe he will get it finally. If not you will know you did everything to make it work. Don't feel bad if you have to formula feed him.

ScottishBrit · #9 April 2nd, 2009, 09:49 AM

I SOOOOOOOO know what your going through!!!! I had to get the shield in order for her to lacth and even when I got her off the sheild she NEVER latched right and I was in pain everyday!!!! I was seeing a LC about 2 times a week and they relly weren't any help. They would get her to latch and say she was fine but then My nipples would be on fire all day. I knew there was something wrong. How does he do on the shield? I hope The LC's can help you.

#10 April 2nd, 2009, 10:34 AM

You are doing a great job! Maybe have a talk with your DH or family and get some Abby-free time when you can just concentrate on nursing. And I have heard great things about nursing in the bath. At the very least, that may be a little extra support you need right now. I hope it gets easier for you, you are a GREAT mommy

**Jenn** · #11 April 2nd, 2009, 11:29 AM

I'm so sorry you're having such a tough time! I agree with Angela though and have his mouth checked out. Maybe even pump a bit before he latches on (stop just before a let down) so the milk is already right there. I know you had a c-section so I don't know if you're allowed to do baths yet but that's another great idea--the warm water will help relax you both and help your supply. I really hope the LC can help you out!!!

#12 April 2nd, 2009, 01:53 PM

You're doing great! I think seeing the LC will help a lot. I ditto Angela, my first thought might be his little tongue/mouth. I also thinks its a good idea to see if you can get DH to take Abby out for like half a day (or a different family member) so that you and Joshua can spend some quality BFing time, maybe the same day as the LC appointment?

Good luck!

lauren in hi · #13 April 2nd, 2009, 04:01 PM

Thanks for the advice/encouragement, girls. Right now, Abby isn't really the problem. She is in school during the day, and she is having very rough nights (also just got over a fever/cold) so we have mommy/daughter time every evening. I guess it was just getting to me b'c there are things that need to be done (& yeah, I'm anal enough not to want anyone else to do certain things) and to try to pump right after trying to BF was just not working.

I still haven't checked out any nursing videos, but I finally figured out how to get him in a football hold and at least he drank (albeit w/ a bad latch, but it's progress) on my good side. My right side is horrible...I don't know why my nipple is not everting (unless I use the latch assist which hurt like a mother!). Abby could feed off both sides, though, so I know it isn't impossible. I don't know if the stars decided to align right or something, LOL, but last night he started sleeping for slightly longer periods too, so at least I was able to get a little more rest & didn't feel frustrated so I could work w/ him this a.m. (If I'm too upset I don't try to latch him b'c I end up more frustrated than anything else.)

Mod-LadyCoconut · #14 April 2nd, 2009, 04:25 PM

Obviously I don't have any experience with this but I just wanted to offer you some GREAT BIG HUGS!

I'm sorry you're having a difficult time and I'm sure it's very frustrating. This seems important to YOU though, so don't let all the things other people want from you be a priority right now. I will be thinking about you and I hope things go well tomorrow, Lauren. Hang in there. ((((((HUGS))))))