I was thinking while in the shower.. And maybe the reason that I say we aren't trying/not preventing or we're on a break is a way to protect my heart. I think there have only been 2 or 3 months where I have ACTIVELY avoided DTD since we started this, soooooooo long ago.

If I say things that aren't "actively TTC", I don't have to be disappointed when AF shows, I don't have to answer "so when are you two going to have a baby?" with "I have no idea", and when I see babies/hold babies/ find out more people are expecting, I don't think "Why not us?". It's "not our fault" if we aren't giving 100%, right?

The real deal is that every month mid cycle, we still try, hoping for the "just one" theory. Some months we DTD more often, with more hope, and sometimes, it's just a one time thing. We still want a baby. Yes, there are things in our lives that could get better before we have a baby, but we have a whole lot of love and desire.

So if you ever wondered why I and We bounce back and forth so much is that I try to put less pressure on us, maybe? But, today is CD21, and you can bet money I hope AF stays away for 9 months.

So that's my theory.. Just throwing it out there.

[ANGWife]

You know I don't understand all your fertility issues, but I'm always hear to listen

[Alison81]

I think that makes a lot of sense. I do hope you see your BFP soon. *HUG*

[Alison81]

I think that makes a lot of sense. I do hope you see your BFP soon. *HUG*

[petalfuzz]

Yep! We've been there too--even months where we said we weren't trying, we'd still dtd with hope. That's over for us for now, but I still have hope for you two!!

[soImarriedAnerd]

Go with what ever works for you guys! As long as it involves occasional popping in here at least!

[IamMom]

Oh Michelle - I can understand what you are saying....I never told people we were ever trying in real life except really close friends and my family....you guys do whatever is right for you.....I have hope that you'll see your BFP sooner than later! HUGS!

[Mars]

I can understand what you're saying and it makes perfect sense. I do hope you get a BFP really soon.

I'm just throwing this success story in for you. I mean, I don't know what you do but maybe it could help. I have a friend who was trying for a long time but they were DTD only at night. Well, turns out someone suggested to her that she should try to DTD not only at night but maybe in the afternoon or at different times but not just at night. She said she tried it since she was basically ready to try anything naturally (fertility treatments are extremely expensive here and she couldn't afford it) and she's now expecting her first child. I don't know how much the times of day play a role in conception but she's convinced that she was successful because of the change.

[~*sierra*~]

i hear ya girl, its my CD27 and i still hope even though we are not trying at all.
i think it's natural to have that hope, and very reasonable to want to avoid all the pressure that comes with actively ttc, i mean who needs the constant questions. my fingers are crossed for u hun!

That makes a lot of sense. I wish you and all the other long timers would get a BFP right now. Makes me want to become a fertility specialist and offer services for free. It's been a long road for you, I'm sorry you are having to wait so long