[ShannonMVT]

Last night was really bad. Matthew nursed every hour from 5:30 p.m. to 11:30 p.m. and was crying constantly. I think he would have nursed even more than that except part of the time my mom was trying to rock him and get him to settle down and sleep some. Then he still didn't have a good sleep stretch (of more than 30 min to an hour at a time) until 5:00 a.m. I don't see how he could be that hungry and worry that my boobies aren't giving him enough milk. Or else something else was wrong. We tried some Mylicon. I just don't know what is wrong when he cries and I hate it. I can't tell when he is really hungry because whenever he is awake he is always rooting and sticking his fists in his mouth, but then I don't think it is always due to hunger but I just don't know. Add to this that my right nipple is very sore since he isn't being as good about latching correctly and I can't let it rest with him nursing so often. And each time he nurses it is a struggle to get him to open wide enough to latch and get his hands out of the way.
He also doesn't ever want to be put down. I will nurse him and hold him against me and he will settle down but then when I put him in his cosleeper he starts crying and fussing again. But I can't hold him 24/7. I can't nurse him 24/7 either.
I don't know what I'm going to do when my mom goes home tomorrow because she's the only reason I get any sleep.
I'm so frustrated because I didn't think it would be this hard and I'm feeling like a crappy mom.

[**Jenn**]

Aw Shannon, you're a great Mom and you're doing a wonderful job! The first 6-8 weeks are the hardest but it does get better, much better! Liam was the same way, a very high needs baby. He wouldn't sleep unless he was being held and had to be held all the time. It sounds like Matthew is cluster feeding which is very normal for babies to do and that is usually the time they do it. Liam was a major cluster feeder where I would just sit on the couch for hours and nurse and it would start around dinner time. He was a major crier too. And I know how hard that is to listen to and not be able to do a thing about it. All I could do was hold him close and sometimes just cry right along with him. Then at about 2 1/2 months old it was like magic and he was the happy baby I knew he could be. The first 3 months outside the womb are very hard for babies and it is harder for some to adjust. Their little bodies are trying to coordinate everything and they're trying to figure out this world they were just dropped onto. Do you have a sling or a wrap? That was a complete lifesaver for me with Loch because he also needed to be held all the time. I never set out to cosleep but it was their high needs that necessitated it. They slept on my chest for the first few month because honestly that's the only way I got any sleep either. Although it was light sleep it was sleep. I know how overwhelming it is but it does get better. And I'm sorry your nipple is hurting you right now, do you have any lanolin to put on it? Big *HUGS* to you! You're a great Mom and doing awesome! Don't doubt yourself!

[Resi]

^ I have to agree. It sounds like he is cluster feeding. Around 2-3 weeks your nipples will feel fine and there will be no pain. It's those first couple weeks that are rough. Oliver cried a lot too and wanted to be held. I think it's a hard time for a newborn because their whole little world has changed. I started co-sleeping so that I could also get better sleep at night. It helped us both out.

P.S. You are a great Mother and don't doubt yourself on that!

[*Anna*]

Alexa was the same way!!! Growth spurts and comfort nursing!! its hard, I'm nursing now... she'll be 6 wks tomm and sometimes does every hr!!! youre doing a great job!!!

the best advice someone gave me was "trust your mommy instincts!"

HUGS!!!!!!!!!!!

[IamMom]

Aww Shannon - your an awesome Mom. I think we all feel like bad moms at times...and it doesn't really end as they grow. I called my son's doctor the other day to ask about a refill on his allergy pills and I said - "do you think the doc should see him to determine if he even still needs them"...and they said - let's check his chart....and she goes...oh he turned 3 a month ago - he needs to come in for his 3 year old annual check up....I'm like "Oh yeah - I'm calling to set that up too". How could I have just missed that....ugggggggggghhhhhh...bad mom!

Not that this would help at all cause I think there is nothing you can do about it but do all the things you are doing - but could he have colic? The constant crying without consolation sounds a bit like colic. Oh I haven't helped at all have I. I just wanted to reassure you that you are a great Mom and your son loves you and is grateful you are his mommy! Hang in there girl! It does get better!

[Mars]

You're doing a great job and you're a great mom. It sounds like either cluster feeding and perhaps he's going through his first growth spurt.

Amara had her first growth spurt at 2 weeks. I remember there was a sale that I wanted to go to beginning at 8am and I got up at 6 to begin to get ready. Amara fed almost constantly from then until just before 10am. I got to the sale around 10 and of course all the good stuff was gone.

You're doing a great job and you're a great mom. It sounds like either cluster feeding and perhaps he's going through his first growth spurt.

Amara had her first growth spurt at 2 weeks. I remember there was a sale that I wanted to go to beginning at 8am and I got up at 6 to begin to get ready. Amara fed almost constantly from then until just before 10am. I got to the sale around 10 and of course all the good stuff was gone.

[**Jenn**]

I was told Liam had colic but I don't think that was his problem. Actually both boys had dairy sensitivities and when I cut diary out of my diet they were both much better. Most likely though he is just trying to adjust to life on the outside. Just give it some time. Once you get past these first few weeks and that 6 week growth spurt you will see that it gets easier. If breastfeeding didn't get better I wouldn't be here 20 1/2 months later still at it! You both are still trying to not only figure each other out but the whole 24/7 of it all. Its exhausting and can be frustrating at times but its completely worth it. Trust in yourself, you're doing great!

[greeneyes]

Something that helps with many of the issues you are facing is swaddling. This will help you latch him on because he can't have his hands up in his face, will help with him wanting to be held all the time because he is wrapped up and feels snuggled and secure, and will also help him sleep for longer stretches at a time because his flailing limbs cannot wake him.

I honestly cannot recommend swaddling enough. I have two Miracle Blankets and they are life savers. I have two friends that just recently had babies and both of them were going through the same issues you are. I loaned them one of my MB and it made a huge difference just in the first day alone. My one friend with the three month old is now sleeping through the night for eight hours at a time and my other friend has a one week old who is sleeping four hours at a stretch and is MUCH calmer during the day and at feedings.

As for the Mylicon, I would be surprised if he actually is gassy/colicky since he is EBF. It is a possibility, just not very common. Is he bicycle kicking his legs or bring his knees up to his chest? How about spitting up a lot after a feeding? Those are classic signs of gas/colic. If he's doing those things, I would try and get some good, solid belches out him after every feeding.

You are doing an awesome job, sweetie! Hang in there, the first six weeks are the roughest as both momma and baby get in sync but the time WILL fly by, I promise.

It's VERY common for new babies to have night & day the wrong way around, Kirsty did. Sounds like Matthew has. Try to differentiate between them... very bright & noisy through the day, dark and no talking or eye contact with him through the night. He will get used to it and swap them around.

Cluster feeding is common early evening, it's when your BM is at its best and baby knows this. It's also supposed to be him "tanking up" to get through the night - I know he's not doing this but he will in time.

Originally Posted by greeneyes

Something that helps with many of the issues you are facing is swaddling. This will help you latch him on because he can't have his hands up in his face, will help with him wanting to be held all the time because he is wrapped up and feels snuggled and secure, and will also help him sleep for longer stretches at a time because his flailing limbs cannot wake him.

This was my first instinct reply in reading your post.

I also would add... if you aren't swaddling yet, he will most likely hate it to begin with but he will get used to it. We started swaddling Kirsty at 3 weeks... she would fall asleep nursing or in my arms, I'd lay her down in her basket and she'd either wake up immediately or would be awake within 30 minutes... it was because her hands would touch/whack her face and she'd wake up with fright. The swaddling stopped this.

It will most deffo help with the nursing too. Do you have a boppy pillow? If not, I'd recommend one. You could lay him on it and have 2 free hands to help with the latching. Try tickling his top lip with your nipple and when he opens (I know it's not wide enough) gently push his chin downwards which will encourage a wider mouth.

Try warm wash cloths on your boobies... or I don't know if you get these over there (click to read about them):


They can be used warm or cold. Have you thought about trying a pacifier? I know they aren't recommended but if it would give you a rest for even 30 mins, then it would help. Or pumping BM so DH can feed him and let your boobies rest? (he prob wouldn't take a bottle from you as he'll smell your milk and wonder why you aren't BFing him). If he wont take a bottle, you could try a sterilised medicine syringe or a cup... cups do work!

Lastly... please don't take this the wrong way... no one would think any less of you if you decided to quit BFing and FF Matthew, he will be just as healthy on either. He's had 2 weeks of BM which is a heck of a lot more than a lot of babies get, you have done a fantastic job so far!!

(sorry this was so long)

[Kristen_at_the_lake]

*hugs*

[Garfieldbear]

Your issues are my issues exactly, to the letter.....that's why I am back to pumping breast milk again. Whenever I try to breastfeed Toby, he never seems to get enough....he latches on wrong (he just won't open his mouth wide and only sucks on my nipple, barely getting milk....no matter how much I try!). When I try to exclusively breastfeed, he cries for hours because he is just hungry and I am so frustrated because my breasts are sore and I know that he is not latching on properly. However, as soon as I began pumping breast milk and giving him 4 ounce servings, it's like magic....Toby stopped crying, and has been sleeping peacefully for 5 hour stretches. Pumping frequently is hard work too, but I would rather have this over Toby being constantly hungry and crying.....because of his crying and hunger, he needs to be consoled and won't let me put him down for a minute. But since feeding him 4 ounce servings of pumped breast milk, he sleeps peacefully in his car seat. My electric pump is Medela Pump in Style and it is awesome, although costs around $230. Perhaps consider pumping part of the time, to give yourself a rest.....I definitely feel in the same boat as you!

You aren't doing anything wrong! He is cluster feeding in the evening. I used to nurse Reid almost constantly from 5pm until he went to bed. He would feed, fuss, feed, fuss, feed, fuss.....try not to worry that he isn't getting enough. Try to learn how to relax during these nursing sessions (impossible this early on, but you will be able to find it relaxing at some point). When Reid was 3 months old, he was still cluster feeding in the evening. I took advantage of the down time by reading all 4 Twilight books! I let him nurse to his hearts content while I read.

Reid hated his pack-n-play when he was little. HATED IT. I had him sleep in his swing for a couple of months When we broke that habit, he slept in an arms-reach co-sleeper with a sleep positioner/wedge. Without it, he wouldn't sleep more than 45 mins at a time. Just expirament and see what he seems to like. I TOTALLY reccommend swaddling at that age. Reid was swaddled until he was about 3 months, regardless of where he slept. Worse comes to worse, how do you feel about co-sleeping? When Reid was really fussy and not sleeping, I would just bring him into bed to me. It was the only way I could get sleep in hour chunks instead of minute chunks

You're doing a GREAT JOB! The beginning is the hardest part, I promise. It DOES get easier.

[thepinkleprechaun]

I went through the exact same thing and I know it's rough! Just hang in there...most likely he is cluster feeding and it is VERY frustrating but it will build up your milk supply really well! I remember trying to nurse Phin and he would just eat and eat and eat until it seemed like there was nothing left, I wanted to give him a bottle of formula so bad so he would just go to sleep! Don't do that though lol...I'm so glad I didn't because my supply is more than enough now.

Anyways don't worry, just try and sleep when you get the chance, when DH is there or your mom or someone to watch him. The first couple weeks are usually the worst because you're already exhausted from giving birth and then you have to nurse around the clock.

[Alison81]

You're doing fine! As other said, he's cluster feeding. Elsa was the same way, and I literally spent allll evening, from around 7pm until around 11pm, nursing her. She also hated being put down in those early weeks, which is pretty normal. I think that's why I started cosleeping, I was exhausted. I think all new moms have been exactly where you are. There was one night I remember being up at 4am, after maybe getting 1 hour of sleep straight and actually asking her, what can I do to make you sleep, I need some sleep, please? It's funny when I look back on it, but it was trying. And like Breanna said, those cluster feeding times became my time to catch up on movies, and I just snuggled up in bed with her. Don't worry about getting other things done. And take naps when he's sleeping during the day, or in the mornings.

[ShannonMVT]

Thanks everyone for the support and suggestions.

I have a Kiddopatomus swaddle thing but I stopped using it because he still somehow manages to get his arms out and it seemed like it was ticking him off. But maybe I'll try it again. He also ends up sleeping on his side rather than his back, so I don't know if that has anything to do with it. The sleep positioner seemed to REALLY tick him off because then he couldn't wiggle onto his side like he likes.

I tried a pacifier for a bit last night and he took it for a few minutes but as soon as it would fall out, he'd be screaming again and he still acted like he was hungry, even though he had been feeding so much.

He does spit up some and at one point last night he was kicking his legs and straining to have a bowel movement, I think. I try to burp him after each feed but sometimes I don't get any burps out.

I was trying to hold off on introducing a bottle until around 4 weeks to avoid nipple confusion, but I guess that is an option if all else fails.

I'm not sure if the co-sleeping will really help me since he is right next to me in the bassinet. I think the only thing that will work is him sleeping on me, which everything I read online says that is a big no-no, unless you are awake while the baby sleeps.

[ScottishBrit]

I just wrote this long note to you and It erased It!!!!!!!!! UGH!

Shannon I soooooooo know what your going through! Cambria Is a very high needs baby!!!!! She would nurse for an hour and sleep for 15mins and then be up to nurse again! It drove me NUTS!!!!!! This went on for months and not until she was about 10 weeks did it get a little better! I literally did not go anywhere cause she ALWAYS wanted to nurse! Have you considered co-sleeping? I swear thats how I ever got some sleep! How Is he gaining on weight? I know my milk was not the best. I always thought she wasn't getting enough and I was right cause she only gained 6OZ's in 3 months. What you can always do is pump for 10-15 mins after hes done nursing and then give him that extra bottle at night. Thats what I did and It started to help. Everyone here helped me soooooooooooo much as well, so dont forget WERE ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

I just wrote this long note to you and It erased It!!!!!!!!! UGH!

Shannon I soooooooo know what your going through! Cambria Is a very high needs baby!!!!! She would nurse for an hour and sleep for 15mins and then be up to nurse again! It drove me NUTS!!!!!! This went on for months and not until she was about 10 weeks did it get a little better! I literally did not go anywhere cause she ALWAYS wanted to nurse! Have you considered co-sleeping? I swear thats how I ever got some sleep! How Is he gaining on weight? I know my milk was not the best. I always thought she wasn't getting enough and I was right cause she only gained 6OZ's in 3 months. What you can always do is pump for 10-15 mins after hes done nursing and then give him that extra bottle at night. Thats what I did and It started to help. Everyone here helped me soooooooooooo much as well, so dont forget WERE ALL HERE FOR YOU!!!!!!!!

[Mars]

Oh Amy, I forgot to add about that in my rant as well!!

Oh man this thread is scaring me. Thank goodness all of you are going through this/have gone through this before I do. I hope some of these suggestions help Shannon. At least you know it is DEFINITELY NOT you. You are a great mommy!

Yes, co-sleeping should help. It's the feel of your body next to his, and the extreme close proximity to boob Its very different than being in a bassinet, even one that is RIGHT next to your bed. It truly was the only way I got sleep the first 3 nights he was home, and the other random nights where he was waking up ALL THE TIME.

Michelle, don't let it scare you We don't lie....it's hard....and you'll be TIRED, but billions of mothers have done it and made it through! That's what I tell myself when it gets really hard