[Mod-LadyCoconut]

So, as most of you know DH is a wedding photographer. He mentioned last night he got an inquiry for April 17th, 2010... which will be our one year wedding anniversary. He said it like 'oh how cool..." and I was just like 'right.'

Today at my mom's he mentions that he'll probably be shooting a wedding 4/17/10 and I was like Uhh seriously?! I thought he was kidding. And then he's like "oh... should I not?" haha. Everyone else in the room slowly slinked away when I started making jokes like "well, it is the paper anniversary right? so I guess you could shoot the wedding and I'll go blow every dime of it on myself as MY gift." We had agreed for our anniversaries we wouldn't buy eachother stuff but do something spending time together. CLEARLY, we would not be off to a good start with this. For most of his wedding he leaves around like 1pm or so to shoot the pre-ceremony stuff and doesn't get home until like late -- sometimes midnight or later.

AND at this point I'll have a baby... so the idea of leaving him/her with my parents for the night or part of the night to go out on a romantic date or something sounds like it'd be something I'd really appreciate. We get time to ourselves all the time now... but then, not so much.

So just now I was all typical woman and "fine... whatever, just do it." I wass like you know what, we need the money with a baby on the way... so just book it. I guess we could pretend our anniversary was the night before or something.

But then I warned him that my feelings are subject to change, and by April of next year I might be pissed as I'm sitting alone (with a baby) ALL DAY on our very first anniversary because he chose to work. I might eat the whole stupid top layer of the cake by myself, I don't know!

He didn't like that answer and now is just sitting in the office not sure what to do... and I don't know what to tell him. I might kick myself later for turning down this $, especially if our anniversary is lame. haha. I might also kick his self later for not being around. haha.

So... would you have taken between $1,500-$3,000 in return for spending your first married wedding anniversary alone? What should I do?

[soImarriedAnerd]

I would want him there with me doing something WITH me. (spoken from the girl who's DH worked that day and then did a group dinner at pizza hut for her first anniversary)

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

(I voted other so I could see other people's responses. I'm one of those people who second guess things. I feel like I want him home with me, but I also feel like it's just one day/night and it's so much money to give up. I wish this weren't a dilemma! haha)

[alicenwonderland]

The money thing makes it a harder decision, but I know I loved my first anniversary. We went for a weekend getaway together. I would never change that. (we brought the top layer of the cake with us)

I voted no... but i'm actually a little torn since it's his job...

[Resi]

I voted Book It! It would not be a big deal to me and the money would be well worth it!

[**Jenn**]

I voted book it! The actual day isn't as important to me, just so long as the anniversary gets celebrated. My wedding anniversary is on Wednesday and we'll be spending the whole day driving up to Maine for a job interview for Ian.

And for our first anniversary I was 6 months pregnant with a 16 1/2 month old and I don't think we even did anything. Instead we planned a little family trip and made it an anniversary/birthdays present for us (both our birthdays are in June) and we did it in June.

[midnight_starr]

I voted to book it because you can always celebrate on a different day!!! Our 2nd anniversary is tomorrow and DH has a basketball game and he kept telling me he'd skip it, but I told him not to do that to his team and we could just celebrate over the weekend! Ya'll could go out to breakfast or something before he has to leave for the shoot!!

[bittersweet]

I also voted to book it. It isnt the day thats important its what they day means. You can celebrate it the day after (would be a sunday, right?) or another weekend. I dont think DH and I have spent one actually anniversary together. We've either been apart or one of us has to work. But it doesnt make it any less special. Plus with a new babers, you will want the money.

[Oriyan]

I voted for book it cause with the baby your gonna want/need that money! It'll be about the time you head back to work (not sure if your gonna do the SAHM thing) so the added boost can help with childcare. I'd maybe do a nice breakfast/lunch that day -- maybe the parents or in-laws can babysit the LO the night before into the next day so you guys can celebrate "properly" *wink wink*. Then he can go off and shoot his wedding and you can spend the night with your LO and think about the fun you had on your honeymoon that made the beautiful child you'll be holding

[chellerenee]

I also voted to book it. I agree with everything Sam said!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

Yeah the more I step back from the scenario the more it seems like... if we need the money then and he didn't shoot the wedding, I'm gonna feel bad ... and if he shoots the wedding we can celebrate a different night and we'll have a lot more money to do so. I guess so long as it isn't forgotten, that's what's important. And it's on a Saturday night which is why I feel like we should be doing out -- but I guess if it were falling on like a Tuesday or something we'd probably wait and go out later. Ugh. At this point I'm leaning towards him shooting it... but I'd still love more opinions/insight please!

[Miracle]

If it was our situation, I would be bummed but I'd tell DH to book it. I agree with the others that you can celebrate it on a different day.

[JediRach]

I voted book it. its gonna suck and you will probably feel a little bit bad but then you can use the money to do something fun or get a big ticket item. Maybe take the baby on a trip?

The true romantic in me says I would be mega bummed out and forbid this. But you could do a fancy breakfast on your day, and a dinner another night?? That money would mean a lot, esp. with Baby H. And we paid our photog to stay for dinner with a date.. Is that an option? Nothing is more romantic to me than a wedding!

I had to book my neck botox to pretty much "ruin" my level of happiness for our anniv. {The Monday after next}, but it may turn out I have less side effects. However, I needed to get it done ASAP, and it just so happened that that was the date.

I put my big girl pants on= NO insult to you, but to me, the baby, and decided sometimes life isn't perfect.

The true romantic in me says I would be mega bummed out and forbid this. But you could do a fancy breakfast on your day, and a dinner another night?? That money would mean a lot, esp. with Baby H. And we paid our photog to stay for dinner with a date.. Is that an option? Nothing is more romantic to me than a wedding!

I had to book my neck botox to pretty much "ruin" my level of happiness for our anniv. {The Monday after next}, but it may turn out I have less side effects and things are enjoyable. However, I needed to get it done ASAP, and it just so happened that that was the date.

I put my big girl pants on= NO insult to you, but to me, the baby, and decided sometimes life isn't perfect.

[Lash]

Honestly-- what does your gut say? Money is helpful but not of the day will be spent making you depressed, and feeling more alone on a day that is supposed to be special (especially after about 3 months straight of no sleep with a new born)

Dont let anyone talk you into "practical" when practical isnt always the most practical, if that makes sense. Is it going to put more strain on you and that time of your life to be alone on a day you are hoping to be celebrating?

The actual day is big for us, so even if its a Tuesday, we celebrate that Tuesday. Just saying

This is why Lauren is a PhD. student and I'm not.. Our anni. is extra special to us, this one will be #1 as "Mr. and Mrs. Mike and Michelle" and #5 as Mike and Michelle". That's huge to me.. Over 1/5 of my life and no matter how aggravated, I love him more and more and more EVERY SINGLE DAY. We aren't in a position to turn money like that down, but if we were I would be like, "Are you kidding me? June 1st hasn't set in as important after 5 years???"

[A*LOT*OF*HOPE]

I would say book it!! I loved spending our first wedding anniversary together, but, the money makes it hard!! You could use that money and go do something super fun the next weekend, or use it so you can be a SAHM a little longer!!

[greeneyes]

I said to book it. You can always celebrate another night or even that morning if you want to. When it comes to holidays, birthdays, anniversaries, etc, well, the larger the family, the more likely it is that you'll have to work around different schedules and you won't always get to celebrate on THE DAY. Welcome to Lesson Number One of Marriage: Compromise.

This is why Lauren is a PhD. student and I'm not.. Our anni. is extra special to us, this one will be #1 as "Mr. and Mrs. Mike and Michelle" and #5 as Mike and Michelle". That's huge to me.. Over 1/5 of my life and no matter how aggravated, I love him more and more and more EVERY SINGLE DAY. We aren't in a position to turn money like that down, but if we were I would be like, "Are you kidding me? June 1st hasn't set in as important after 5 years???"

[*JenJen*]

I said book it, because we just take a mini vacation each year for our anniversary..sometimes 6 months late..but then we have yet to spend a single anniversary together and won't again this year...as long as Jer acknowledges the day, it doesn't relly matter to me how we spend it.