Have to get this out (vent)

HopeWishWait · #1 May 22nd, 2009, 09:58 AM

Hi girls, I know I haven't been around much lately and here's the reason for that. I don't know what exactly is going on with Conner but I think he's going through a growth spurt. He's eating constantly and HE WILL NOT SLEEP. Over the course of the last 3 days I've gotten 8 hours of sleep total. Last night he finally fell asleep...........at 5:30 in the morning. He then was back up ready to eat and start the day at 7:15. I'm losing my mind. I can't stop crying because I'm so tired and stressed and I just want to run out of my house and leave him here. I probably sound like a terrible mother right now but I had to tell someone because DH is working so much he isn't here so he doesn't understand. *sigh* I'm considering never having another child now.

#2 May 22nd, 2009, 10:04 AM

Oh wow Caitlyn

I can only imagine how hard that must be and how you must be feeling.

It is okay to feel what you are feeling. DO NOT tell youself that you are being a bad mother. It is not okay that you have only gotten 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. You cannot function on that. You need to find someone to help you, even if it means taking a long, 3 hour nap. Today. Ask for help. You won't be able to figure out a sleep solution for Connor in this state.

Okay, lets go over when he IS sleeping. When does he nap during the day? It sounds like he has his days and nights totally mixed up. Can you give us more info so that we can try to help?

I wish I lived closer so that I could take Connor for an afternoon and give you a break!

HopeWishWait · #3 May 22nd, 2009, 10:12 AM

That's the thing, you'd think he would just be crashing at night because he doesn't sleep during the day at all. He'll take little 20 minute naps here and there but nothing steady. Before this whole mess started he was taking 3 naps a day, always at the same time, and eating only three times a day always at the same time and sleeping like an angel. Now he's awake....he had one full day of screaming from morning until night but now he doesnt do that. He doesn't even cry usually as long as I'm there entertaining him.

I don't know who to ask for help because I don't have any family or friends here. I know my neighbor alright but not well enough that I could feel comfortable leaving Conner there.

Resi · #4 May 22nd, 2009, 10:13 AM

I feel for you. I know what it's like not getting much sleep. Your not being a bad mom. You just need your baby to sleep again! Is he napping during the day? How often is he eating? Is there anyone that can come help during the day so that you can get some rest? Hang in there. It will come to an end and you will get to sleep again.

*Mrs.J.2011* · #5 May 22nd, 2009, 10:18 AM

I'm sorry your having a tough time, like Resi and Breanna said, you are NOT a bad mother! I dont have any advice since I've never been there, but I hope he starts sleeping better soon so that you can get some rest!

Frozendesire · #6 May 22nd, 2009, 10:23 AM

It will get better! He will sleep eventually. You need to get someone to help you out. Even if they stay right in the same room as you are sleeping and take care of him. Sleep when he's sleeping, whenever, where ever that happens. Don't worry about house work or cooking or anything like that. You need to get some sleep so you can function!

You are not a bad momma

You are a perfectly normal momma with a perfectly normal little baby boy

Your doing a great job. And this will pass and you will get baby fever I'm sure hehe. Your doing great!

Resi · #7 May 22nd, 2009, 11:47 AM

I remember when Oliver was Conner's age he did the short nap thing. It will get better. I know when your in the middle of it all it's really tough. Have you tired giving him a bath before bedtime? What about trying to get him to bed early than normal? I'm just trying to think of some ideas for you. Do you FF or BF or Pump? I can't remember what you were doing. Does he rub his eyes when tired?

Miracle · #8 May 22nd, 2009, 11:53 AM

Aw, hun! I feel so bad for you. I will pray for you right now that Connor will sleep better today so you can get some adequate rest.

#9 May 22nd, 2009, 12:18 PM

I know this may not be possible, but could DH take a day off of work to help you, or at least take a half day? I NEEDED my DH to do that for me a couple of times when Reid was smaller and I was still staying home with him.

Do you nurse? When he DOES fall asleep, how does it happen? Some night (even still) I have to go through half a dozen different things to get him to sleep. Sometimes he just needs to be held and rocked in a dark room while I hum to him, other times he needs to nurse while laying down in our bed in the dark, other times I had to put him in the car and take a ride.....it's torture sometimes....but it will pass. It WILL get easier. You just have to get yourself through this phase.

#10 May 22nd, 2009, 12:19 PM

I know this may not be possible, but could DH take a day off of work to help you, or at least take a half day? I NEEDED my DH to do that for me a couple of times when Reid was smaller and I was still staying home with him.

Do you nurse? When he DOES fall asleep, how does it happen? Some night (even still) I have to go through half a dozen different things to get him to sleep. Sometimes he just needs to be held and rocked in a dark room while I hum to him, other times he needs to nurse while laying down in our bed in the dark, other times I had to put him in the car and take a ride.....it's torture sometimes....but it will pass. It WILL get easier. You just have to get yourself through this phase.

#11 May 22nd, 2009, 01:17 PM

Caitlynn, there is a growth spurt at 3 months, it sounds like he's hit it.

Kirsty nurses every 1.5-2 hours through the day if we're at home, if we're out in town or something, she will easily go 3-4 hours between.

As for the daytime sleep... I'm with you on that. Kirsty is terrible. She'll only go to sleep (day or night) if I nurse her or rock her. It's tiring and frustrating - I feel ya! Through the day she will only sleep 20-45 minutes at a time unless I'm out in the car or walking with her in the pram. She will then sleep longer.

Yesterday she woke up around 6:30am, her bedtime is around 7:30pm... she had 2 x 30minute naps for the entire day. A total of 1 hour daytime sleep. It's horrendous! I've tried all sorts of things, I've tried pick up/put down (put her in the cot, when she cries, pick her up until she calms then lay her down - repeat this), PU/PD does not work because she will not calm until she is asleep on my shoulder, I've tried a little bit of CIO, I left her for 10 mins and at that point she was hysterical.

She was getting better last weekend, I was picking up on her tired cues quicker, now I'm back to square 1. I to... want someone to take her just so I can sit and do nothing for an hour.I want someone to come to my house for a week and help me sleep train her (and me!!).

It's VERY trying on my patience, so I empathise with you!! I am there with you!! If you find a solution, let me know!!

lauren in hi · #12 May 22nd, 2009, 01:50 PM

it is hard! your feelings are completely normal and understandable. i hope he sleeps soon for you!

Mars · #13 May 22nd, 2009, 03:16 PM

I think it's probably a growth spurt. I really hope he settles soon so you can get some rest.

~*sierra*~ · #14 May 22nd, 2009, 03:32 PM

i'm so sorry hun. maybe that neighbour can come over to your place even for an hour or two and watch conner while you have a nap? **hugs**

HopeWishWait · #15 May 22nd, 2009, 03:42 PM

Thankfully DH had a short day today so he watched Conner and I napped for about 4 hours, it was wonderful

He can't take any days off because there are a lot of rules and regulations about why and how much time you can have off when you're in nuclear power school...and your baby not sleeping isn't one of them sadly. The only ways Conner falls asleep are if hes being bounced in his bouncer with music playing (adult music, he hates baby music) or sucking on a bottle.

Alison81 · #16 May 22nd, 2009, 03:50 PM

Elsa was like that for awhile too, and it was really hard, I did it all by myself. And the only advice my parents gave was, that's why you shouldn't have had her. The only thing I can tell you is that it gets better, and the not sleeping thing goes away. Just keep reminding yourself that it won't last forever, and get help every chance you get.

#17 May 23rd, 2009, 05:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HopeWishWait

The only ways Conner falls asleep are if hes being bounced in his bouncer with music playing (adult music, he hates baby music) or sucking on a bottle.

be thankful you at least have these 2 methods! I have breast or rocking on my shoulder... DHs or anyone else's shoulder wont work. So it's always left to me day & night.

HopeWishWait · #18 May 25th, 2009, 03:49 AM

I don't know what happened but last night was a miracle. Conner slept from 10:30 pm to 6 am....I didn't do anything different! I don't know what it was and I don't care...I feel AMAZING

ScottishBrit · #19 May 26th, 2009, 09:43 PM

It could have been a growth spurt. I know how you feel though. Cambria was like that everyday for months! She's almost a year and STILL doesn't sleep through the night!

misfitinmn · #20 May 27th, 2009, 04:39 AM

Oh dear, the sleepless nights are horrible!! I soooo feel for you. Ben did the same thing around that age (huge growth spurt at around 12 weeks...the spurts are 3 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, and 6 months...those are the major ones so I've read). He wasn't napping, his sleep went to poo, it was awful.
But...we got through it...somehow! I don't know how, but we did it and now he's a pretty good sleeper. He also napped in his swing and was swaddled until he was 7 months old...I was all for doing WHATEVER I needed to do to get sleep for both of us.
Hang in there! I am glad to hear you got a good nights sleep last night!!