[♥Ashley♥]

First off, I wanna say sorry to everyone for posting that and then just going MIA. But as you can imagine my mind was all over the place and the last thing I was thinking about was the internet. I left that night after hours and hours of crying my eyes out and watching Jason pack all my stuff up and shove it into my car. He drove me to my sisters because he knew I wasnt okay to drive. He didnt talk to me all weekend only a few emails. This was the WORST weekend of my life no doubt about it.


Okay heres the story:
I have a crazy, crazy psycho ex boyfriend. I was with him for 2.5 years and then he ended it with me, I was pretty upset but I was young so I moved on pretty quickly and started going out with friends again and seeing Jason a lot. (We were always in the same group of friends so he was always at the get togethers and stuff) Well eventually Jason and I started dating which the ex-boyfriend HATED. Then Jason and I got together which he hated even more. That day he heard we were in a relationship he called me and told me as long as were together he would do everything he can to break us up. Well, he has kept that promise thats for sure. About every 3 months (Yes, EVERY 3 months for the past 4 years) he calls me over and over and texts me. At first I would answer and kind of chat with him to make sure hes okay but then after a few months I said forget it and stopped answering calls and texts. Which of course made him mad. So he called one of Jasons friends (this is when we'd been together about 6 months or so) and said ive been talking to my “ex” on the phone and texting him etc. Which I mean I was but it was just completely innocent stuff because I was seriously afraid of the man and what he would do or say if I didnt stay civil with him. So that kind of hurt Jasons feelings and we went through a few days of hard times with that. He finally realized that it was nothing to worry about and we could get on with our life. So I changed my number and went on with my life. Or so I thought, he got my number again and started the calling and texting every few months. Okay so this continues to happen for years all the way up until now. (I dont EVER answer or text back). Well Friday Jason gets a call from the same friend who told him something the first time and he says “I need to tell you this before you get married, Ashley has been sleeping with her ex all the way up until the day you guys got engaged, then she called him and said shes engaged now so this needs to stop” Poor Jason, his heart must have dropped, and I know it did he was sooooo hurt and crying. I was FUMING and sad to see Jason crying so much, id never seen him cry like that. That is what hurt me the worst seeing the person I love and want to marry extremely hurt and sad. I told him over and over again that nothing happened NEVER would I ever do that. But with this person and the things he's done and said before im sure it just gets harder and harder for Jason to hear and who to believe. I mean, dont mistake it he loves me and trusts me but this person has been trying to ruin our lives for 4 years. So to hear things like that over and over and over I think anyone would start to second guess things. I wish this person would just get out of our lives and let us be happy. But he STILL wont let me go after 4 years. So jason told me it was over and the wedding was off. Not only because he didnt know what to believe at first, but because this man is going to be trying to ruin our lives for the rest of our lives probably. So Jason took me to my sisters, we both cried the whole way, we said we loved eachother and he wanted some time alone to think. So I cried all of Friday and went to bed and woke up and called him to come and get me so that I could get a few things from the house. Once again we cried and hugged each other. I realized just HOW much Jason loves me this weekend and it broke my heart to see him completely devastated. When I was at the house he cooked a pizza and couldnt even eat and just cried at the table. So I left and didn't talk to him that whole day or night and sent him a few emails telling him how much I loved him. He was responding saying things like “I was so excited to marry you”, “We had it so good” etc things that made me sad. Then Sunday I called him in the morning to see what we were going to do if I should tell my sister I have to permanently stay with her or what. He said yes. Or go live with your grandma. OMG I was soooooo upset he said at least for the summer, that we needed the summer off so I can “decide what I want”. Of course I told him I know what I want and I don't need time away from him. I mean seriously how am I supposed to go from having a fiancé who was my BEST FRIEND, and planning our wedding to not being with him anymore and not talking to him. But then he called me back a few hours later and said if you stay with your sister or your grandma for the summer we can hang out and slowly get back together. And I said thats fine its going to be hard but its fine because I want to be with him. So my sister and I left to go to Target, I needed to get all kinds of things if I was going to be staying there. Then he called me on my way to Target and said to come home. Things wont be like they used to be at first but its what we both wanted. So I went home and we didn't really talk and I went to bed in our bed and he went to bed on the couch. I woke up to him getting in the bed with me and cuddling with me and holding my hand. Neither of us could fall asleep, I guess because we were so happy.


So still no wedding in September but thats okay. Ill wait. I love him.


THANK you so much to everyone who has cared, worried, sent pms, sent messages on facebook etc. I meant a lot to me to see that there were people who I'd never even met worrying about me.


I'm still really sad about what has happened, and honestly SCARED for what happens when “the ex” hears were back together and going to work it out. I'm scared what he is going to say or do to break us up the next time. I wish there was something I could do.

[*Mrs.J.2011*]

Ashley I am so sorry you are having to deal with this crazy ex! You and Jason seem to have a really great relationship, you are strong. I know you guys will make it through this. I hope that things get back to normal soon and you can go on planning your wedding and get back to TTC.

As for your crazy ex.. I'm about to grab the van and find out where this a-hole lives!

[~Jess~]

OMG, what a horrible nightmare! Can you file a restraining order against your ex for stalking you? I'm so glad you two are going to try to work this out.

Oh Ash, I dont even know what to say! What a weekend!!

I want to beat the s**** outta that jerk off!! Can I have his name and address?! He seriously needs to get a LIFE!! UHHH! I hate people like that, Im so sorry he put you through that.

I really hope everything with you and Jason is on the up and up now, Im glad you got cuddling in and it continues to get better as you to work everything out. Im not sure what to do about that loser though, I hope someone has some good advice for you.

And let me just say Im soooo glad to hear from you, we really were so worried about you!! You know were always here for you!! About anything!!

[♥Ashley♥]

Its hard I dont know if I could do that Jess because he doesnt stalk me he just calls and texts uncontrollably. I am on the phone with AT&T right now because he is already sent me 8 texts today because i told him to please leave me alone forever and he flipped out. Im changing my # AND blocking his.

[♥Ashley♥]

It sucks that im still living my life worrying I cant eat or sleep my stomach is in knots wondering what my ex is going to do/say next. I still havent eaten since lunch on Friday.

I think thats a good start sweetie, the hard part is making sure he doesnt get the new number!! Ive had an ex who did the same thing to me..for 2 years..after that he kinda got over it..its so annoying though esp to have to disrupt YOUR life bc of what THEIR doing!!

[midnight_starr]

Yeah I was going to tell you to try and get his number blocked and hopefully he doesn't get a hold of your new number.. I am so sorry this is all happening.. I hope everything works out for you!!!

[Mod-LadyCoconut]

Ashley I'm glad things are on the up and up... I'm so sorry. I definitely think you need to report this guy's behavior to the police and start the process of getting a restraining order. Stalking doesn't mean just creeping around looking in your windows at night... he's harassing you -- you've asked him to stop contacting you, it's been YEARS since you've been 'friends' and you've had to change your number and it's still happening... that's enough. This guy has serious issues and I am so very sorry you're still having to deal with them. The 'friend' who is playing middle man also needs to be cut from you guys' lives... your relationship is (or should be) far more important than any of these friendships and it sounds like the time has come to cut ties with that circle of 'friends' since they're basically helping pysccho ex get to you (giving out your phone number, delivering messages for him, etc.)

and maybe now is not the time, and I'm sorry if I shouldn't be saying this... but I don't understand why Jason is calling off the wedding because of this. It worries me that he's not willing to join together with you to stop this ex from harassing you both (by filing police reports, etc.) but the fact that you're back living with him but 'taking things slow' sounds to me like just cold feet. Taking things slow isn't going to change the situation if the real problem is just your crazy ex. Calling off the wedding but staying together isn't going to make the ex go away. I know right now, after the total horrific scare you've had this weekend... being together at all is better than not -- but if his reasoning for calling off the wedding is just b/c of your crazy ex... I don't see how that makes sense, y'know?

I am so sorry you've had this rollercoaster of a weekend, and I absolutely HATE that you ex is still wreaking havoc in your life four years later. I hope you can get something to eat and start to feel better.

[~* Helen *~]

Oh sweetie how awful for you to deal with this!! That made me well up you explaing how hurt he was and all the crying you have both done

I really hope it all works out for you xx

[Resi]

Ashley, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crazy ex after all this time. I'm glad that Jason came around and your back home. Don't the two of you own a home together? I thought you did for some reason.

I think you should get an order of protection from your ex. You can get it even if it's just phone calls and text messages. You don't need the proof. My brother's GF got one against Damon, my Mom, and I for doing NOTHING. She just did it to keep us away from my brother and his baby. I also have a friend who got one for a crazy ex that lives across the country. Please get that order of protection and that way he will have to leave you alone!

I also think that Jason needs to cut off contact with that other "friend" who has been telling him these lies. It's not going to ever end unless you cut out all the drama.

Oh wow....
I am so sorry that you guys have to deal with this. It sounds like you love eachother so, so much.....it will be fine. Just take it slowly, build the strongest foundation possible, talk until you turn blue in the face, and when the crazy ex-boyfriend starts to interfere again, you two can deal with it like a team.

I'm glad you guys are working it out. Your story made a lump in my throat

[♥Ashley♥]

Originally Posted by LadyCoconut

Ashley I'm glad things are on the up and up... I'm so sorry. I definitely think you need to report this guy's behavior to the police and start the process of getting a restraining order. Stalking doesn't mean just creeping around looking in your windows at night... he's harassing you -- you've asked him to stop contacting you, it's been YEARS since you've been 'friends' and you've had to change your number and it's still happening... that's enough. This guy has serious issues and I am so very sorry you're still having to deal with them. The 'friend' who is playing middle man also needs to be cut from you guys' lives... your relationship is (or should be) far more important than any of these friendships and it sounds like the time has come to cut ties with that circle of 'friends' since they're basically helping pysccho ex get to you (giving out your phone number, delivering messages for him, etc.)

and maybe now is not the time, and I'm sorry if I shouldn't be saying this... but I don't understand why Jason is calling off the wedding because of this. It worries me that he's not willing to join together with you to stop this ex from harassing you both (by filing police reports, etc.) but the fact that you're back living with him but 'taking things slow' sounds to me like just cold feet. Taking things slow isn't going to change the situation if the real problem is just your crazy ex. Calling off the wedding but staying together isn't going to make the ex go away. I know right now, after the total horrific scare you've had this weekend... being together at all is better than not -- but if his reasoning for calling off the wedding is just b/c of your crazy ex... I don't see how that makes sense, y'know?

I am so sorry you've had this rollercoaster of a weekend, and I absolutely HATE that you ex is still wreaking havoc in your life four years later. I hope you can get something to eat and start to feel better.

There are NO cold feet we were both SO excited to marry eachother. This was REALLY REALLY traumatic and I dont want to rush back into wedding planning and stress and everything. Jason went through ALOT and i dont blame him for saying we should probably wait on the wedding. I mean, this guy is going to hound us until the day we die im afraid and thats alot for a guy to have to deal with...hearing that his fiance is SLEEPING with another man all the time. Its horrible. I feel SO bad for him. Believe me we both WANT to get married I just dont know. I mean, as it sounds today there is a slight possibility that we MIGHT because were just going to cut those people out of our lives so that *hopefully* this never happens again but I dont know. I understand what you mean that this shouldnt affect our plans at all. But its just hard, i dont know how to explain it. I want everything to be perfect for us and I just would feel stupid and like I was rushing it going from being together, to broken up, to being together again and getting married 3 months from now. I think we need time to figure out a game plan and see what we can do with this guy to get him to leave us alone for good. We need to focus on US right now instead of the stress of wedding planning that I was going through before this happened. And call me crazy but this has opened my eyes to alot of things. I will not take Jason for granted a day in my life, and I will do everything I can to make our relationship a wonderful one for the rest of our lives, it has given me a new outlook. And we have the rest of our lives together, no need to get married in 3 months if it will just stress us out on top of all this other stress weve been through lately. I love him so much.

Oh Ashley! How terrible! I'm glad Jason is devoted to your relationship and that he "let you" come back home". You guys will still be in my prayers!!!

[Chelnae6]

Ok so I read this and went from fumes (b/c yall were going to let happen what your ex wanted to happen) too tearing up of sadness (b/c I know that breaking up isnt what yall want to do), to tears of Joy for you guys getting back together.

I completely agree with Shannon and everybody else as far as getting a restraining order AND cutting loose the middle man. A restraining order prevents the ex from ALL POINTS OF CONTACT (in person, texts, emails, phone call, etc). And the next time dude texts you (b4 the restraining order is in place), let Jason know (each and every time... even if it means that Jason has to call him or text him back).
That situation went from you being able to handle it to Jason needing to handle it for the both of you since you are his woman (engaged, married, or girlfriend). I bet that would make Jason feel 100% better about everything simply because you're making him aware of each and every detail that goes on with the ex so if anyone else tries to tell him otherwise, he'll already know what the REAL deal is. Even that texts that were sent today, I'd let him see them for himself.

Just know that situations are going to arise whether your married or not that might bring on lack of trust or faith again, but once you're married, one cant just run away from these types of problems. The best way to handle a problem is to solve it together... to both be engaged in finding a compromise able solution that makes both of you satisfied and able to wake up together and share another day.

My response might have been long but I felt like I could semi-relate to both sides of your situation

[♥Ashley♥]

Originally Posted by Resi

Ashley, I'm so sorry you have to deal with this crazy ex after all this time. I'm glad that Jason came around and your back home. Don't the two of you own a home together? I thought you did for some reason.

I think you should get an order of protection from your ex. You can get it even if it's just phone calls and text messages. You don't need the proof. My brother's GF got one against Damon, my Mom, and I for doing NOTHING. She just did it to keep us away from my brother and his baby. I also have a friend who got one for a crazy ex that lives across the country. Please get that order of protection and that way he will have to leave you alone!

I also think that Jason needs to cut off contact with that other "friend" who has been telling him these lies. It's not going to ever end unless you cut out all the drama.

Yes, we own a home together. We have lived together for the past 3.5 years.

And that "friend" is 100% ut of our lives, we dont need that bringing us down.

[~*Bethy*~]

oh good lord!!! What an ordeal!!! Im SOO sorry this a**** is putting you through this!! Cut him and the middle man out!! Im so happy your safe

~Beth

[♥Ashley♥]

Originally Posted by ~ChelNae6~

Ok so I read this and went from fumes (b/c yall were going to let happen what your ex wanted to happen) too tearing up of sadness (b/c I know that breaking up isnt what yall want to do), to tears of Joy for you guys getting back together.

I completely agree with Shannon and everybody else as far as getting a restraining order AND cutting loose the middle man. A restraining order prevents the ex from ALL POINTS OF CONTACT (in person, texts, emails, phone call, etc). And the next time dude texts you (b4 the restraining order is in place), let Jason know (each and every time... even if it means that Jason has to call him or text him back).
That situation went from you being able to handle it to Jason needing to handle it for the both of you since you are his woman (engaged, married, or girlfriend). I bet that would make Jason feel 100% better about everything simply because you're making him aware of each and every detail that goes on with the ex so if anyone else tries to tell him otherwise, he'll already know what the REAL deal is. Even that texts that were sent today, I'd let him see them for himself.

Just know that situations are going to arise whether your married or not that might bring on lack of trust or faith again, but once you're married, one cant just run away from these types of problems. The best way to handle a problem is to solve it together... to both be engaged in finding a compromise able solution that makes both of you satisfied and able to wake up together and share another day.

My response might have been long but I felt like I could semi-relate to both sides of your situation

I agree. Ive already told Jason about all the texts today and I told him im not responding anymore if he wants to respond HE can but im not. But, i just changed my phone # so its going to be awhile before he gets ahold of the new one hopefully. But i blocked his number anyway. But then again he changes his number alot so i wouldnt put it past him to change his # so that he could call.

[~*Bethy*~]

now that is persistance...what is driving this guy?? Other than being obsessed with you...

[♥Ashley♥]

I dont know other than not wanting me to be happy with someone else...