Stupid appointment (X Posted) Updated Post 18- Finally feel like i have answers

amazing_love · #1 June 15th, 2009, 02:57 PM

UGH!! I did NOT like this doctor! She wasn't very friendly and seemed very blunt and like she didn't even care. I had to hold back tears when i left the appointment, and not just because of the bad news. And there was bad news. She looked at my betas and told me it definitely looked like i'd m/c based on them. She said technically nothing's impossible but she acted like there was really no doubt in her mind. Right off the bat she pretty much told me there's no way this pregnancy could end with a baby in nine months. I don't mind hearing her or any other doctor's opinions, but to say it the way she did just seemed cruel.

She felt my cervix and said it was closed which in her opinion told us nothing since she said it would be open if my body was about to miscarry. Okay? I already knew that but she obviously didn't think it was a good sign either? She felt around and said she really doesn't think it's ectopic. There's the one positive thing from this appt. i guess. We didn't do an u/s because she told me my betas are too low to show anything.

They did take my blood again and are doing yet another set of betas. I won't hear back until tomorrow on the results though. That made me sad that i have to wait so long. Also i'm not 100% sure about my blood type but my mom seems sure i'm O negative. The doctor said if i am i should've got a shot because if DH is positive my body could reject the baby. I know i've heard of this in the past. I wonder if this is what's happening?? She did a test to see for sure what blood type i am and i will be getting a shot if it's negative. I guess that seems kinda productive?

I just feel like i left with no answers again. After i mentioned the chance of it being a blighted ovum she agreed with me. She said my body should m/c within the next 1 or 2 weeks but i don't know how much i believe that until i see it. I refuse to get anything like a D&C done until i know for sure that there's no baby inside of me, no matter how certain she seemed.

I'm hoping this set of betas goes either way up or down so i can know for sure. I hate it just barely going up because it keeps us guessing and the waiting game just continues. So that's all of it. Anyone else confused?

Sorry this is so long BTW!

Mod-LadyCoconut · #2 June 15th, 2009, 03:22 PM

Oh Krista. That doctor sounded like a nightmare. So much for getting any kind of reassurance either way today. I hate that you didn't really get any answers. I think it's weird she wouldn't do an ultrasound... wasn't that like the whole point of today? I wish you had GREAT doctors instead of the ones you keep getting that are giving you the run around.

.Brandi. · #3 June 15th, 2009, 03:39 PM

I don't even know what to say! I'm so sorry this doctor was so unconcerned. Something I don't like about doctors like her is that they just don't take your feelings into consideration. You are scared and worried about your baby and ANY mother would be. She should have understood that you're concerned and worried about your baby. I know to her, it may not seem like a big deal because she sees this stuff everyday, but this isn't something you've dealt with before....and even if you have dealt with it before, it doesn't make it any less hard to deal with and any less of a loss. What a B. I hope you get some better answers soon. Praying that your betas triple so she can eat her words!!! That's just so unfair to do to someone. I'm sorry you had to deal with this.

Mars · #4 June 15th, 2009, 03:40 PM

Gosh, that sucks! Where do they find some of these people?

I'm sorry you weren't able to get any answers. I hope you can find some one who's willing to help you get to the bottom of things.

Trannyfromtheuk · #5 June 15th, 2009, 03:49 PM

Wow, what an insensative woman!... espeically with her being a woman you'd think she'd have a bit more of an understanding!
I really hope you get to the bottom of this and know whats going on ASAP!

Garfieldbear · #6 June 15th, 2009, 04:24 PM

I'm so sorry that you were treated like that at a time like this.............it all is a nightmare

HopeWishWait · #7 June 15th, 2009, 05:18 PM

I'm so sorry about your doctor, she sounds like a real jerk.

I'm thinking of you guys.

**Jenn** · #8 June 15th, 2009, 05:29 PM

What a horrible doctor! You'd think she'd have some sort of bedside manner. When I miscarried it wasn't complete and my GYN described it as "debris" in my uterus and she was a woman too. Yeah, that cut like a knife. It always amazes me how callous and cold doctors can be in this kind of situation. I really wish you had gotten some more concrete answers today, this waiting game is torture I'm sure. And I agree with you about the D&C--definitely don't do anything permanent like that until you have solid answers. I think you really need to find a different doctor, the ones you've been dealing with during this have been horrible! I just hope you get some real answers tomorrow, one way or the other. *HUGS*

*krista* · #9 June 15th, 2009, 06:28 PM

I'm sorry you didn't get any answers today.

I hope you get some tomorrow. This waiting game is just awful.

~Jess~ · #10 June 15th, 2009, 06:58 PM

I'm so sorry you're going thru this.

midnight_starr · #11 June 15th, 2009, 08:01 PM

Oh Krista I am so sorry that you aren't getting any answers..

#12 June 15th, 2009, 10:11 PM

I'm sorry you are going through this Krista. I hope you get answers soon and I am hoping for the best with tomorrows beta results

alicenwonderland · #13 June 16th, 2009, 12:01 AM

I'm sorry krista. I hope you get some REAL answers soon.

LisanAndy · #14 June 16th, 2009, 04:56 AM

I'm so sorry hun

My blood type is also negative (A-) and you only need the shots if you miscarry, have an abortion, around 28 weeks of pregnancy, and after you deliver *if* the baby is positive. You shouldn't miscarry just because of your RH factor according to my midwives and OBs I've had but someone correct me if I'm wrong. I'm praying for you ((HUGS))

freesiangel · #15 June 16th, 2009, 07:27 AM

Wow. Just... Wow. I can't believe what in insensitive doctor you got! I'm sorry you have to go through all of this. (((((hugs)))))

petalfuzz · #16 June 16th, 2009, 08:06 AM

I'm praying for you, I'll add "find a sensitive dr" to the list

soImarriedAnerd · #17 June 16th, 2009, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LisanAndy

I'm so sorry hun

My blood type is also negative (A-) and you only need the shots if you miscarry, have an abortion, around 28 weeks of pregnancy, and after you deliver *if* the baby is positive. You shouldn't miscarry just because of your RH factor according to my midwives and OBs I've had but someone correct me if I'm wrong. I'm praying for you ((HUGS))

Medically speaking----
Were a little iffy on this in medicine even..... when the embryo forms its own blood (we think a couple weeks post conception) and IF its positive (which we can't really test for in most cases when really new) and it has the chances of mixing with moms negative blood it can cause a rejection reaction for future pregnancies. This mixing can occur during spontaneous or mechanical abortions and births, or fetal surgery.....so IF mom is negative its something she needs to possible get a shot for. With Births we test baby and if baby is Positive then mom needs a shot, or in some doctors minds they just give them the vaccine while pregnant (this is new and untested). If baby is neg nothing is done.
The problem that we run into is that during spontaneous abortions with natural passing the embryo isn't tested or may not even be far enough along that it made its own blood supply---in that case most providers feel better safe then sorry and give the shot anyway. Because if they didn't give it the only way they would know there was an issue is by future issues of failed pregnancy with embryo that have positive blood type.

amazing_love · #18 June 16th, 2009, 12:40 PM

Thanks for explaining that Angela.

Here's my latest update:
http://www.justmommies.com/forums/f4...l#post16241867 (I feel like i finally have the answer i needed)

Trannyfromtheuk · #19 June 16th, 2009, 02:23 PM

Im glad you've finally got some answers and that you seen at peace with what is happening x

Mod-LadyCoconut · #20 June 16th, 2009, 03:00 PM

I'm sorry that your numbers didn't go WAY up or way down and that they still went slightly up but not enough to give you peace or reassurance. It sounds like you're handling everything very well though. I've never had a miscarriage but I imagine if you're seeing red blood now that it will probably pick up. Did the doctor want you to come back and make sure everything is 'good to go' for future pregnancies afterwards? I hate that you've had such horrible doctors through this awful experience and I'm hoping you find good care for the remainder of this rollercoaster ride. I think interviewing doctors for the future is a great idea. Hang in there Krista... we're here for you.