[~*Bethy*~]

Ive got a few friends that are like "ewww...kids....why do you want another one?!" I say because I love them....but their comments are making me feel bad about having more kids...and I dont know why....I guess Im just venting and finding an excuse to yet again WTTC........I cant make this choice for the life of me and its making me feel like Im 16 and am hiding cigaretts away from my parents......I feel selfish almost for wanting another baby, and that everything I have going for me now will just vanish into thin air........

sorry for the vent...

[*Mrs.J.2011*]

Sorry people are making those comments! Are these people that would make these comments to some TTC #1? Maybe they just dont like kids.. Chris and I have some friends like that, which is fine, but we love kids and we will have as many as WE choose! I dont think you should let these people influence your decision. Its your life! You and your DH need to make this decision together, with no one elses input!

[~*Bethy*~]

thank you kaleigh!!! Im not sure if they would comment if it would be my first or not....Its just people Im around everyday, just makes it harder. My poor husband is like trying his hardest to knock me up and get the process over with poor guy wants another one!

I think Im just stuck like you said that Im worrying too much about others and what theyll say........uhhhg....

I just feel like Im still 15 and need approval to proceed in life.....blah....

I find myself comparing my life to others who are pregnant and have kids. Their new homes, cars, ease of money, ect....Are they like me on the inside? is their home in foreclosure but wont tell anyone? are they struggling to make their car payment? Just little things that scream out to me "DONT DO THIS YOUR NOT AS STABLE AS YOU THINK" but really who is? How much better off are they than me? Sure I live in a small apartment, and we dont have alot of money coming in....should that really matter if we know we can provide for our kids? Clean home, good food and a roof over their heads? is that enough?....

I think Bethy should blog......

[*Mrs.J.2011*]

I know EXACTLY how you feel.. you should hear Chris and I talking about telling our parents this weekend that we are expecting!!

[~*Bethy*~]

Kaleigh, I updated my 2nd post....lemme know whacha think....

Do your parents know that you needed medical help in TTC?

[freesiangel]

It can be hard when the people around you are constantly saying things like that. I always feel that way (not with TTC/pregnancy per-se, but anything) around my sisters because they tend to have the opposite opinion as me on EVERYTHING! Since I'm the youngest, it does get to me. I still don't let it affect my decisions, but it definitely sits there in the back of my mind.

Just do what is right for you and your DH.

And from what I've learned over the years, most people with a really nice house and lots of stuff cannot afford it. They like to appear as though they have a lot of money, when really they don't. You live within your means and that's exactly what you should do. In the end, it isn't money that matters. I grew up in a family without much money and I had a lot of hand me down clothes, etc. and it never once bothered me. I had a place to sleep, food to eat, and my family. I didn't even know we didn't have money til I was older...

[*Mrs.J.2011*]

A baby doesnt care how much money you make or if you own a house! A baby just wants to be fed and changed and loved! If you can do that I think you'll be fine!


Our parents didnt even know we were TTC! We decided we would wait until it happened to tell them. Not that they would be mad or upset, but they would probably have tried to talk us out of it for a few years. we're young, not married, etc (humorous thing is that both his and my parents were young and not married when they had us... difference is that we PLANNED this pregnancy!) My mom did ask me on Sunday night when Chris and I were going to get married and have kids.. she misses having a little one around to spoil. (my sister will be 10 in September)

[~*Bethy*~]

Thanks to the both of you - you have really helped out!! its just ALWAYS in teh back/side of my mind. My DH is just like "Can we get this done and over with?! I want a baby!!!" where would I be without him?

[*Mrs.J.2011*]

lol Good luck and have fun

[~*Bethy*~]

lol thanks?

[Trannyfromtheuk]

Personally i feel its upto US (and our partners obviously ) how many kids we want.

This is one of the reasons only a few people know we are TTC#2. Most of my friends are just finishing Uni etc and are not ready to settle down, get married have kids but at the end of the day I am and thats my choice.
When i fell preg with DD i feel some sort of dropped me because i wasnt like them any more and TBH i dont care. If they cant be happy for me and my choices; as far as i am concerned they are no friends of mine.
True friends, at the end of the day should be happy with what ever you choose to do with your life, no matter what their oppinions on kids or anything is.

I say; if you want one more baby, you can love it, feed it, keep it clean etc... go for it!

[szczepanski]

Bethy, DH and I don't have a ton of money. We live in a cozy (aka little) apartment and he has tons of student loans. We only have one car (by choice, we don't NEED two), we don't buy the latest gadgets. We live within our means and we are fine with it. Some people would look at us and say....why are they TTC....

I say its none of their business. If we want to start a family...its our business. We know how to sacrifice for things that we want and how to live within our means.

I think if someone starts to make you feel bad...just look right at them and say "Well, DH and I love our kids and kids in general. We want another to grow (or complete!) our family and are willing to make sacrifices for ourselves so our kids can have everything they need and most of what they want."

[lauren in hi]

Don't listen to the mean people! MIL had questioned DH if we could afford to have a 2nd when we were TTC #2. I was so irked! We are comfortable and live within our means...not like we are hitting her up for $ or something. And of course she is so in love w/ Joshhie so at least she never said anything rude once we were actually expecting.

[soImarriedAnerd]

Well *I* approve!

[Resi]

It's up to you & DH how many kids you feel comfortable having. My Mom has already told me SEVERAL times not to have another kid. I think it's none of their business and very personal to each family. I know I do not like other people butting into my family plans either. I feel as long as we can offer a stable, safe, and loving home those are the main things.

[.Brandi.]

Okay, this might come across as an ear full, but I'm very passionate about this!!! Just a warning

My opinion is this, people who don't like kids absolutely suck the bottom of my feet!!!! I don't know how anyone can't look at a baby or a child and not fall in love. And if these people are your friends, they suck as friends too!!! If you want a baby, you have a baby. That's between you, your DH, your other children (their feelings matter in this too) and JM (okay, totally kidding about the JM part ). Sit down in a quiet room all alone. Close your eyes and breathe deeply. Then think of the late nights, the crying, the teething, the snuggling, the sweet baby scent, the baths to be given, the sweets "mamamama"s that you'll hear. The baby laughter. The poopy diapers. Think of all of it, the good, the bad and the ugly!!! If all of it makes your heart yearn, you should have another child. If it doesn't make your heart yearn. Maybe it's just not time yet. And that's okay. Don't let some nasty butt make you feel bad about wanting another child if that is what is going to make you happy. In my opinion, a friends job is to support your decision if it will make you happy, warn you of the things that need to be considered, but ultimately support you because the thing you want will make you happy. Friends are extended family. They aren't people you've grown to love. They are here to be your family when your family just can't quite make it. If they support you, they are friends....if they don't, then they are not your friends. Don't feel guilty for wanting something that will make you happy. Because in the end, we all deserve to be happy. And we all deserve to have the things that make us happy!

[Alison81]

I had friends like this when I was pregnant with Elsa, and it honestly drove me out of my mind. None of them are my friends now, lol. Now all my friends work at a school, so none of my friends are like that AT ALL. They were all really excited when I was pregnant, even during the times I was puking my brains out and couldn't get excited, they would talk about the baby, and want to see if I looked pregnant. It's really nobody's business but your own how many kids you want, and when you want to have them.

[**Jenn**]

I agree with the other ladies. It is NO ONE elses business how many children you and your husband decide to have or when you decide to have them. I'm sure many people would think my dh and I are crazy for wanting another one now but honestly it's not up to them. This is also why no one IRL knows we're TTC and why no one will know we're expecting until I'm too big to hide it and no one will know the gender or name until after the baby is born. The comments do suck but if you know you are doing what is right for you, dh, and your family than all will be well.

[~*Bethy*~]

thank you guys SOOOOO much!!! you always cheer me up So, TTC is back on and screw the "friends" who will want to ditch me as soon as I get pregnant - not to mention my mother who thinks her (back then) 19year old daughter should have tied her tubes after the first one!!! SCREW HER!!!!!!!

~Beth

[.Brandi.]

Beth, I LOVE your toddler blinkie!!! It is so TRUE!!!