for those who have sustained a loss

alicenwonderland · #1 June 30th, 2009, 07:53 AM

how long until you started TTC again? Matt and I want to start right away, but don't know if there's any medical reason to wait a cycle or whatever. I know this question has been asked before... i just never needed the answer and didn't pay attention. Please throw in your two cents

~*Bethy*~ · #2 June 30th, 2009, 07:56 AM

I think as long as you pass it naturally (no D&C) I dont see why you cant start ASAP? Even with a D&C they only say wait 6 weeks MAX...Hope this helps!

*Mrs.J.2011* · #3 June 30th, 2009, 07:59 AM

My dr told us to wait until I get a period to start actively trying again, so that they have a true LMP date. We are NTNP for the next couple of months anyways, but we arent really preventing until I get a true period. Good luck and I hope you get a healthy sticky bean soon!

amazing_love · #4 June 30th, 2009, 07:59 AM

Alice i had no idea about your loss. I'm so extremely sorry hun.

To answer your question, we're not planning on waiting. My doctor told me they recommend waiting 3 cycles but i'm pretty sure it's for emotional purposes. From what i've heard, your body won't get pregnant before it's ready so there's no harm. I say it's okay to try again once you and Matt feel emotionally ready. BIG

szczepanski · #5 June 30th, 2009, 08:00 AM

Its a completely personal decision because no matter how hard you try or how soon after you start trying - your body will not get pregnant unless it is ready to. So to me, even if you do try and AF shows - its probably just because your body wasn't able to sustain a healthy pregnancy yet. Most of the time, they tell you to wait 1 cycle for dating purposes (having a LMP date...but that what ultrasounds are for) or 3 months for emotional reasons.

DH and I decided to wait one cycle, so we knew that everything was working and try again. It was such a long agonizing wait (and looking back on it now, I can't believe we are coming up on 3 months since my miscarriage...it feels like a year) but I felt like it was good to have an idea of my last cycle and to know that everything was generally working normal.

When I ovulated right after my m/c, I was so upset because I just wanted to be PG again, but I realized that if I got pregnant again right away, I would be terrified that my body wasn't ready to handle it yet and I would lose that baby too. So for me, waiting one cycle was good piece of mind. Like I said, its a completely personal decision....and for me it turned out pretty okay so far.

Frozendesire · #6 June 30th, 2009, 08:06 AM

After my second miscarriage we were very determined to try again. We talked with our doctor and he said they recommend waiting for one full cycle, so you would miscarry then have an AF and preferably ANOTHER AF so you would have a complete cycle. We asked why and he said it was just for dating purposes... so we threw that out the window and just DTD as we wanted and waited to see what happened. I miscarried naturally, and got my AF. Then I became pregnant. I now have Dustin

KatiInCT · #7 June 30th, 2009, 08:13 AM

After my miscarriage (11 weeks, naturally passed most but also had a D&E) my doctor told me he would like for me to wait 3 cycles but there was no true scientific reasoning behind it. We chose to wait the 3 cycles. But I agree with the other girls in that your body will take the time it needs. If you are emotionally ready to start trying again once you get your next period, there isn't anything to stop you.

alicenwonderland · #8 June 30th, 2009, 08:31 AM

Thanks ladies... I just can't see NOT trying right away. It's like there's this void now that we desperately need to fill. I think Matt is taking the loss even worse than I am. He is insistant that we get pregnant again ASAP.

♥Ashley♥ · #9 June 30th, 2009, 08:34 AM

With early losses, there is no medical reason to wait. They just want you to wait so you have a true LMP to go by. With me my losses were sooo early that had I not tested I would have thought it was just my period so there really was no need to wait, my cycles didnt get messed up or anything since I wasnt pregnant for long at all.

♥Ashley♥ · #10 June 30th, 2009, 08:41 AM

I had those same feelings Alice. I literally couldnt even think about NOT trying. It was just not possible, we needed to try.

*kyle* · #11 June 30th, 2009, 10:35 AM

I don't think I ever took any real time off after my 2 losses. I know I did feel somewhat ambivalent about trying again so soon, although I just could not psychologically pass up a perfectly decent ovulation without even one BD close by to give us a "chance." I guess I was kind of NTNP for one cycle after each loss and actually planned to stop trying for a while when I got pg with this little guy. I'm not gonna lie, you will have better days and worse days. Some days you feel totally ready to try again and others you're still grieving the loss or feeling hopeless about TTC. If you're a person who doesn't like ambivalence, you may want to prevent for a month or two just so that your heart can be 100% in it the next time you try. Otherwise you risk compounding grief over a loss with grief over a BFN and the negative feelings can pile up.

Mars · #12 June 30th, 2009, 11:05 AM

I hope it happens quickly!

SandKmommy · #13 June 30th, 2009, 12:02 PM

We didn't purposly TTC. Af never came back for me after the M/c and my OB gave me a shot of Progesterone to jumpstart it cause he said I wasn't ovulating, we had actually had an appt to get back on b/c and ended up pregnant with Seamus instead.

Mod-LadyCoconut · #14 June 30th, 2009, 03:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ♥Ashley♥

With early losses, there is no medical reason to wait.

That's always been my understanding as well. :dothugs:

ANGWife · #15 June 30th, 2009, 04:33 PM

We went thru one cycle before we started TTC again. My GYN said that since my miscarriage didn't require a D&C and that there was no medical reason it happened, that it was safe to try after my system had completely returned to normal.

**Jenn** · #16 June 30th, 2009, 06:38 PM

I didn't go to the doctor after my loss so I didn't know about any of these "waiting periods." Since I was on BCP when I got pregnant I just stopped taking them and never went back on. We weren't "actively" trying (like charting and that kind of thing) but we were letting nature take its course. It took a very long time to get pregnant again for me but with the loss and coming off BCP I think my cycles were messed up for a long time.

My Aunt had a loss 4 months into her pregnancy and got pregnant again with my cousin the first ovulation after she miscarried. She was a perfectly healthy pregnancy and baby (now she's 25).

I totally understand your need to not want to wait. I was the same way. I really hope this happens very quickly for you Alice!

Kristen_at_the_lake · #17 July 1st, 2009, 11:37 PM

I lost our first baby at 9 weeks. The doctor told me that she "recommended" waiting one cycle, but we were determined to try right away. Well, AF came and then we got pregnant on that cycle and now Leo is almost 10 months old. We didn't abide by the doctor's recommendation on purpose, but my body did what it needed to do.

Lash · #18 July 5th, 2009, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by *kyle*

I don't think I ever took any real time off after my 2 losses. I know I did feel somewhat ambivalent about trying again so soon, although I just could not psychologically pass up a perfectly decent ovulation without even one BD close by to give us a "chance." I guess I was kind of NTNP for one cycle after each loss and actually planned to stop trying for a while when I got pg with this little guy. I'm not gonna lie, you will have better days and worse days. Some days you feel totally ready to try again and others you're still grieving the loss or feeling hopeless about TTC. If you're a person who doesn't like ambivalence, you may want to prevent for a month or two just so that your heart can be 100% in it the next time you try. Otherwise you risk compounding grief over a loss with grief over a BFN and the negative feelings can pile up.

I'm kinda late answering, but I'm similar to Kyle in that I became a little numb, but it didnt make sense to "waste" too many cycles in my head. We took off 2 months because Clint needed more repair time emotionally than I did and he became pretty phobic we'd miscarry again.

Looking back, its been over a year now and as cliche as it sounded coming from people, it meant and still means we can at least get pregnant. That literally meant nothing to me at the time, but now after a year and half of infertility and all our problems you have no idea how much hope it can give you that you at least CAN get pregnant.

My cycle also regulated pretty quickly so timing LMP was pretty easy. If yours recorrects, I"d say just start

alicenwonderland · #19 July 6th, 2009, 10:51 AM

My doctor ended up saying it was ok to just keep trying, so that's what we plan on doing.... if only I would stop bleeding already.... grrr

Pepsi · #20 July 7th, 2009, 05:19 AM

HI, I'm really sorry to hear about your loss, if your like me your very anxious to get pregnant again asap. I lost a baby at 5 mths in Dec o6 and had a D&C and I was pregnant again in January as my doctor said I was fine to try again straight away. I had a healthy boy in October 07. Good luck.