Feeling Down

alicenwonderland · #1 July 9th, 2009, 04:24 PM

Naturally I can't wait to get pregnant again. I finally stopped bleeding and my symptoms have finally lifted.... but my temps are still close to 99 degrees. I'm just discouraged and impatient. I thought I was making progess until my temp spiked today. Ugh.... When will this be over?

midnight_starr · #2 July 9th, 2009, 04:25 PM

Mars · #3 July 9th, 2009, 04:36 PM

*Mrs.J.2011* · #4 July 9th, 2009, 05:03 PM

I decided to stop temping for a few months for that same reason. I hope things start getting better for you soon!

Lash · #5 July 9th, 2009, 05:03 PM

Its such a horrible waiting game, for sure

szczepanski · #6 July 9th, 2009, 05:30 PM

Have you thought about just using OPK's instead of temping? I know my temps were so crazy after my m/c, I just skipped temping all together and used OPKs. I have a ton (like 25) I can put it the mail to you, you'd probably get them Saturday.

**Jenn** · #7 July 9th, 2009, 05:36 PM

I'm so sorry Alice.

I wasn't temping when I had my miscarriage but I know it took a while for things to get back in order.

bittersweet · #8 July 9th, 2009, 06:12 PM

Maybe a temp break would help. You are pretty in tune with all your other fertility signs, not temping may list a big weight of stress and worry off you. As long as you are BDing regularly, you have the same odds KWIM?

Whatever is best for you, I really hope you find some peace soon.

alicenwonderland · #9 July 9th, 2009, 06:30 PM

I really don't know what's going on with me today. For the past couple days, i've felt completely like myself again. I havn't shed a single tear, i've just been happy. I thought I had put this behind me.

Today is a completely different story. There's nothing special about today... no milestone... just thursday. I feel like the grief snuck up and got me. I had a good long cry, the likes of which i havn't had in over a week. It just feel stupid. I was only pregnant for a very short time, so I feel like I have no right to feel this way. I just can't help it. I feel like my family and friends want to forget it, but I can't. I feel the need to talk about it all the time. It was important and I want to talk about it, but when I do it just makes a situation very awkward. And now I'm rambling... but DH is finally home...

Lash · #10 July 9th, 2009, 06:55 PM

People are very quick to brush off a short pregnancy with "oh it will happen again", "its not like it was that long, whats the big deal", and the best from a coworker- "well 30 years ago we didnt even have tests so if you hadnt been trying and all caught up in this pregnancy stuff, you wouldnt even have known, so dont you think you kinda brought this on yourself"

Mine was over 14 months ago. One pregnancy, one week and now over one year waiting for the next one. Its very easy to say that a chemical or early miscarriage "should" be pushed aside as if it means nothing if you havent been there, but you have now and you get it in a way that your family probably wont.

There is hope in 2 lines. 2 lines we all desire and long to see. The loss of that, no matter how long it was, is completely devastating. It was an end to a nightmare of TTC, and instead of ending with a dream baby, its just followed by another nightmare

Alison81 · #11 July 9th, 2009, 07:49 PM

The ups and downs are soo normal! And it will take your body a bit to offically get back to normal, but you'll get there. The pain does get easier, but it doesn't happen over night, and it takes time, as much time as you need.

Frozendesire · #12 July 9th, 2009, 09:23 PM

Those two lines change EVERYTHING. Hopes/dreams/desires are all immediately created. Even along with worry/stress/wonderment... it's a HUGE HUGE deal. So even if it's only a week later... it's a huge drop in all of those emotions. It takes alot of time to heal, and those types of moments/days will happen.

Sometimes, over a year later, I think of the babies I lost. It's hard. It's a hard thing to get over. But you will, in a way. You'll heal but you'll always have a place for them in your heart. I remember one night me and James and a couple friends got real drunk (We don't do it often haha) and I spilled out EVERYTHING I felt about my first miscarriage. He had NO idea I was still grieving over it (He was totally understanding of course) and he said that our baby maybe gone but there will always be a place in our heart that is empty and sad and miss that baby. And it's true.

This is alot of blahblah on my part

I just wanted to say that I understand and it's all completely normal.

greeneyes · #13 July 9th, 2009, 09:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lash

"well 30 years ago we didnt even have tests so if you hadnt been trying and all caught up in this pregnancy stuff, you wouldnt even have known, so dont you think you kinda brought this on yourself"

alicenwonderland · #14 July 9th, 2009, 11:58 PM

Lauren- I have had ALL the same things said to me. Even that awful "before pregnancy tests" one. I heard that one from my own mother! I really can't believe how cold people can be. I also had a woman at work say "It's not like you're the ONLY one who's ever had a miscarriage." I mean.. I know! I'm just still grieving my own. And I'm terrified that it will take me another 10 months to concieve again. I can't even imagine the pain you've been through.

Thank you ladies for all the understanding comments.

LisanAndy · #15 July 10th, 2009, 04:15 AM

Big time hugs hun! People definitely can be so cruel. I don't care if the baby is full term or 4 weeks old, it's a BABY and it's a loss no matter what. I'm praying you find comfort soon and that it won't take you 10 months to conceive again. Hang in there hun!

bittersweet · #16 July 10th, 2009, 04:16 AM

Thats sounds like something my mother would say also Alice. She didnt believe you can find out your pregnant before you miss your period.

♥Ashley♥ · #17 July 10th, 2009, 06:44 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lash

People are very quick to brush off a short pregnancy with "oh it will happen again", "its not like it was that long, whats the big deal", and the best from a coworker- "well 30 years ago we didnt even have tests so if you hadnt been trying and all caught up in this pregnancy stuff, you wouldnt even have known, so dont you think you kinda brought this on yourself"

Mine was over 14 months ago. One pregnancy, one week and now over one year waiting for the next one. Its very easy to say that a chemical or early miscarriage "should" be pushed aside as if it means nothing if you havent been there, but you have now and you get it in a way that your family probably wont.

There is hope in 2 lines. 2 lines we all desire and long to see. The loss of that, no matter how long it was, is completely devastating. It was an end to a nightmare of TTC, and instead of ending with a dream baby, its just followed by another nightmare

to everything...I even had a certain family member telling me to get over it and it'll happen again. Everytime I acted sad or down or didnt talk to much she would tell me its time to get over it

CandaceDianne · #18 July 10th, 2009, 06:56 AM

*Mrs.J.2011* · #19 July 10th, 2009, 08:29 AM

I'm so sorry that everyone is trying to brush everything off. Like the other ladies said, those 2 lines change everything! It doesnt matter that you were pregnant for a short time, the fact is that you were pregnant. I am finding that I want to talk more about it than Chris is willing to listen to. I am so thankful for JM for this reason. If you need to talk let me know. We are going through this awful thing together, and no one understands like someone that has been through it or going through it.

#20 July 10th, 2009, 01:27 PM

I'm sorry for all of us that people. freaking. suck. You don't have to forget, and it IS OK to grieve. You knew, and that feeling in your heart will never go away. I don't know if you remember our conversation about me and the softballs. You don't have to forget, and I.strongly.dislike.people.right.now.