Need your opinions... WWYD?

LaLaRose3 · #1 July 17th, 2009, 11:56 AM

So.. what would you do in this situation? I am not going to include names.

What would you do if your husband left you at home with your, say, two young children, to go to a city five hours away to visit some friends? And let's say that these friends are all girls that you have not met. Not only that, but one of them is an ex-girlfriend who has in the past said some very mean things about you. Things like: you are a controlling B-word, he deserves better, you must have cheated on him and lied about the paternity of your child, etc. You have never before met these girls, and they have all said pretty catty things about you. Not only that, but your husband has not called all day, and didn't call the day he left until, say, one AM, and all you could hear were the girls screaming and laughing.

So, your husband is spending money you don't have, leaving you at home for four days, and hanging out with a mean ex, without anyone with him to be accountable to.

WWYD?

The characters in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

♥Ashley♥ · #2 July 17th, 2009, 11:59 AM

I dont want to say what I would do because im scared of who it is!

LisanAndy · #3 July 17th, 2009, 12:01 PM

I would be beyond livid. My husband may be a butt nugget sometimes but he would NEVER do that.

CandaceDianne · #4 July 17th, 2009, 12:02 PM

Hmmm, I would probably feel extremely uncomfortable. Not because of HIM, but I dont trust girls. We tend to go after what we want (I use we just in general, no one woman specifically) and will do whatever it takes, whether its men or a job. I would ask him to come home because that isnt a good environment for him to be in. Plus, i would ask he respect me by not hanging out with that b**** who called me a b****. That's just my opinion though,

♥Ashley♥ · #5 July 17th, 2009, 12:02 PM

Let just say I wouldnt even want a husband that would WANT to go hang out with girls that include his ex, much less actually GO! So im sure I would probably want out of the relationship, but thats just me and im harsh. I want a man who is all about me, if he even wants to hang around his exes I want nothing to do with that. Not to mention, if he actually WENT and did it and wasnt calling me/or calling really late at night I would be livid.

szczepanski · #6 July 17th, 2009, 12:04 PM

I'd sit him down and ask him whats more important - leaving me and our kids at home, spending outside our agreed upon budget to spend time with an ex-girlfriend who clearly has problems with me or being married to me and being apart of our family. If he doesn't want to be a part of this family, then he knows where the door is.

There is nothing wrong with going out with friends once in awhile but frivolously spending money we don't have and hanging out with people I wouldn't want him to, thats the part that would make me mad. He probably wouldn't like it if I went out and spent $$ on some new clothes and then spent time hanging out with an old boyfriend!

soImarriedAnerd · #7 July 17th, 2009, 12:06 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaLaRose3

So.. what would you do in this situation? I am not going to include names.

What would you do if your husband left you at home with your, say, two young children, to go to a city five hours away to visit some friends? And let's say that these friends are all girls that you have not met. Not only that, but one of them is an ex-girlfriend who has in the past said some very mean things about you. Things like: you are a controlling B-word, he deserves better, you must have cheated on him and lied about the paternity of your child, etc. You have never before met these girls, and they have all said pretty catty things about you. Not only that, but your husband has not called all day, and didn't call the day he left until, say, one AM, and all you could hear were the girls screaming and laughing. DEPENDS ON IF I TRUSTED HIM more than anything.

So, your husband is spending money you don't have, leaving you at home for four days, and hanging out with a mean ex, without anyone with him to be accountable to. The money issue would be a BIG issue with me. Leaving me at home--depends on how much I trust HIM.

WWYD?

The characters in this story are fictional. Any resemblance to anyone, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

see the bold

LaLaRose3 · #8 July 17th, 2009, 12:08 PM

What if he broke that trust a little bit? And what if you don't trust HER at ALL?

Thank you for the opinions ladies. Keep em coming!

#9 July 17th, 2009, 12:11 PM

One word. Unacceptable.

Frozendesire · #10 July 17th, 2009, 12:12 PM

Ya I'm with Ashley I would for sure NOT be with a guy that would even WANT to do that. My husband should be proud of me and my boys and want to bring us along to show us off (that's the way my hubby is), or invite them to our city. And he for sure would NOT be spending money we don't have. I would be down right mad. My husband would NOT put up with someone (girl, guy, family, ex friend, strangers) putting me or my boys down. That's a HUGE quality my man has to have.

CandaceDianne · #11 July 17th, 2009, 12:12 PM

Then I would tell his *** to get back home or he can stay there and not bother coming home....ever! I know you should give people second chances, but he took a vow and broke it once. HE is putting HIMSELF in a baaaad situation. Hell no!

soImarriedAnerd · #12 July 17th, 2009, 12:20 PM

Broken trust-----if its still broken...then I would say "they" made sure that it stayed that way, I would be re-evaluating if they could fix it at that point. And if they couldn't..bye bye.

HopeWishWait · #13 July 17th, 2009, 12:27 PM

I completely agree with Bre, unacceptable. There is absolutely no way that would happen. If he wanted to have friends over to OUR house that I hadn't met before that were female, fine..no problem. But no way are you leaving me alone with our child for that length of time to spend it with other women who are clearly untrustworthy if you haven't been so deserving of trust either you know? I honestly do not know what I'd do...I'd be livid and probably scream my head off because that is just way out of line.

Mod-LadyCoconut · #14 July 17th, 2009, 12:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaLaRose3

So, your husband is spending money you don't have, leaving you at home for four days, and hanging out with a mean ex, without anyone with him to be accountable to.

WWYD?

My husband wouldn't do this. I don't mean for that to sound bgitchy, but it's hard to imagine a situation like that for us. Clearly the husband in this scenario doesn't respect his wife, his family, himself, etc. The fact that he doesn't care how his wife feels about all of this is the biggest red flag to me. That's not a marriage, or a partnership if he's only thinking of himself. He'd be gone. I'd imagine if it's this extreme now, it hasn't been all peachy in the past either... and I suspect it would only get worse from here.

amazing_love · #15 July 17th, 2009, 01:04 PM

I agree with Ashley. But more than anything i'd be 100% shocked if my DH even wanted to do that because it's completely unlike him. It seems very obvious to me that the situation is like Breanna said, unacceptable.

~*sierra*~ · #16 July 17th, 2009, 01:11 PM

coming from someone (me) who's dh spends the majority of his time with one of his ex-gf's, even i would be uncomfortable in this scenario. the prior cattyness to me just screams inappropriate. if my dh's ex had ever been disrespectful to me in any way i highly doubt he would have hired her in the first place. i'm not sure why this person's dh would want to hang out with someone who was disrespectful in that way, let alone a whole bunch of girls like that. i'd suggest she def go the talking to him route as mentioned in pp....if he gets defensive then i'd be even more suspicious.

#17 July 17th, 2009, 01:11 PM

TWO WORDS: COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE. Not for a man who took vows and has small children. Priorities priorities.

Even in manic periods, Mike would NEVER do that, so if MY husband did, he'd be asked to leave while we tried to work it out--- and I almost think that would be impossible! Wow!

ShannonMVT · #18 July 17th, 2009, 01:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LaLaRose3

So, your husband is spending money you don't have, leaving you at home for four days, and hanging out with a mean ex, without anyone with him to be accountable to.

Unaccetable on all counts. If this makes me controlling, so be it BUT I would not be okay with my Dh hanging out with an ex for several days, would not be okay with him going out and hanging out with a bunch of women in general (while I'm at home), not okay with him spending money on recreation if we don't have the money. The leaving me home for 4 days with small kids, I could only see that if it were a planned trip that we had agreed upon, like he was going on a hunting trip with buddies or the like.

♥Ashley♥ · #19 July 17th, 2009, 01:33 PM

I have to add, too, that my fiance would NEVER ever even think about this. Thats just not how a relationship should be. And i think this woman needs to start realizing that no woman deserves this kind of treatment and complete lack of respect for what a marriage is.

Lash · #20 July 17th, 2009, 01:36 PM

I guess the idea is that if a culture is established within a marriage in which actions like this are acceptable, then I'm not surprised this incident would happen. If its considered normal, common, allowable to act in this manner, this doesnt sound like the first incident of its kind and surely wont be the last.

I know tons of boyfriends and husbands and men that think its perfectly acceptable to "get away for the weekend", "blow off steam with the guys" and the fantastic "hang out with who ever I choose because I"m a grown *** man and can do what I want".

It just plain sounds selfish, even if the couple isnt married or has children