Wdyt?

Mjp121212 · #1 July 20th, 2009, 06:18 AM

Ok, this is a discussion (disagreement) btwn my mother and I.

We have friends, the mom is her best friend and the daughter is just a friend of mine. She had a lil girl in dec after I had Brayden. she had a HUGE baby shower....we went.

Then about 2yrs later she was having ANOTHER girl and had ANOTHER babyshower. I didn't exactly agree to another baby shower for the same gender baby that close to the first, but she dubbed it a diaper party by then so I was like ok cool. And I was all for it. I think both babies should have been celebrated.

Now she is pg with a 3rd....a boy. There will be about 2yrs between all the births----give or take. Her oldest will be 4 in dec, and baby will be born before then. She will undoubtedly have another shower. I'm for that since it is a BOY and a different gender.

So.....I told me mom, in a fun excited tone, that with this one we will have to remember to invite them to the babyshower since we have gone to all of theirs. It will be fun, then invite dbfs family, and just my close family. I wouldn't need big stuff, but diapers and wipes and stuff would be nice and we could do dinner, yada yada and just have a baby sprinkle unless its a girl then I'd need clothes, etc....

She got furious! She said NO you don't do a shower with the 2nd....I said yeah, you do if its a different gender or years apart (nearly 5!) and she said np and not under these circumstances----me not being married. I disagree. I think each baby, no matter then circumstance, is a blessing and should be celebrated. Sure, I don't need a whole nursery or pack n plays and swings.....but I never said that. I said a sprinkle or diaper party like the other gal we know. I never intended an argument, just a joking and looking to the hopeful future kind of conversation. But my feelings were smashed!

Resi · #2 July 20th, 2009, 06:23 AM

I don't have a problem with a baby shower for each child born. I do like the idea of a baby sprinkle or a meet the baby party after baby is born. I know I would be excited to go if my friend was having a 2nd or 3rd shower.

Mjp121212 · #3 July 20th, 2009, 06:40 AM

I plan to show the responses to my mom as an I toldyou so LOL....at least make me feel better!

petalfuzz · #4 July 20th, 2009, 07:26 AM

Yes you deserve a shower! It's been years since the last one, so much stuff has been given away to charities, etc..... Plus it may be a girl and you'd need tons of cute girlie stuff!

JediRach · #5 July 20th, 2009, 08:00 AM

I think every kid should have a shower. People know enough that if you are having the same gender then you don't need the big stuff. I would have to say I definitely agree with you on this one.

Angelaosaurus-rex · #6 July 20th, 2009, 08:15 AM

I think every baby deserves a shower! I would tell my mom, "Well I'm sorry you feel that way I will be sure not to invite you." LOL!

♥Ashley♥ · #7 July 20th, 2009, 08:18 AM

I definitely agree that you should have one! ESPECIALLY if you have a girl! That is so weird she would say that after she has been to the other womans numerous showers! And to say its because your not married!? UGH! C'mon! Its 2009!

Angelaosaurus-rex · #8 July 20th, 2009, 08:51 AM

I think every baby deserves a shower! I would tell my mom, "Well I'm sorry you feel that way I will be sure not to invite you." LOL!

HopeWishWait · #9 July 20th, 2009, 08:56 AM

In my opinion just because it's not the first baby doesn't mean it's any less special of an experience...it's a new life!! You celebrate a birthday every time you have one right? And that happens every year! Nic and I weren't married when we conceived Conner and there was still no question that we would have a baby shower...even in my Christian based family. So you absolutely deserve to have one and you should just ignore her rude comments about it.

Frozendesire · #10 July 20th, 2009, 09:09 AM

I had a small baby shower with Curtis, just a couple friends (not many people could show up do to work schedules). I had ANOTHER baby shower with Dustin, where lots of family and friends came (We didn't live near them at the time I had Curtis). Both were meet and greet baby (I like that better as the attention goes to baby then hahaha).

I think having two, three, four, five, eight... baby showers is just FINE. Why not?? I NEVER understood why you wouldn't celebrate each childs life. The gifts can change from big items, to clothing, to diapers and wipes. But I think that's up to the guests.

I personally don't see a baby shower as a showering of gifts either. I think it's a get together to meet the new mommy or mommy to be and baby or whatever and if they want to bring gifts sure. With that mindset I think you should have one for each and every child

ANGWife · #11 July 20th, 2009, 10:21 AM

My mom has always said only the 1st baby gets a shower. But I think why not a baby shower for all babies? It's not like there needs to be some huge amount of presents to have additional showers. Some cake, party games, and some diapers... why not?

chellerenee · #12 July 20th, 2009, 10:29 AM

I definitely think you should have another shower! I register women at work all the time that have several children and they say they had a shower with each one! It's totally normal to have multiple showers these days. I'd tell her if she didn't want to come fine, but you are having one with or without her!

Mjp121212 · #13 July 20th, 2009, 12:34 PM

LOL I told her about this post and she said awe pooey lol. She didn't agree withthe other ladies either but she went. And that's what sparked the debate was me saying that I was trying to think of what to get.

I said geesh......I'm glad I didn't wait until the right time 7 months from now!

Mars · #14 July 20th, 2009, 04:20 PM

I don't see why you shouldn't have another shower. Every baby should be celebrated.

*kyle* · #15 July 20th, 2009, 08:28 PM

I have heard the same types of comments from my mom and dad. A friend of my family's daughter had a baby at 16 and my parents made some rude comments (not to her face) about going to that shower because the girl was so young and not married (please, like that means she needs LESS support

). Last year, at the age of 24 and with the SAME GUY she had a second child of the opposite gender (oldest is now 8!) and my parents again made comments about how you shouldn't have a shower for the second child. I think that their attitudes are rude and ridiculous, not to mention totally out of step with modern times.

I believe that in some situations like the one I just mentioned, having a full-on shower for the second baby makes total sense. Also, if the subsequent kids are closer in age and/or the same gender, then a baby meet-and-greet or a diaper party are completely appropriate IMO.