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I'm feeling kind of sad tonight. I just found out that one of my best friends that I've known since I was 9 is pregnant, but she just had a miscarriage 2 months ago (that she just told me about) and her family (mom and sister) has a history of recurrent miscarriages. Luckily, my friend is currently pregnant, but she is really nervous, and I'm nervous for her. Also, August would have been my sister's orginal due date. I thought for sure that she would be pregnant by now, but after complications with her D&C, she has been unable to get pregnant again. Also, one of my other best friends has been TTC for about 5 months and nothing yet. I was on the houseboat with her this weekend and she had just started AF and was really down in the dumps- just not herself.
*sigh* I just want good things for the people I care about and its hard to sit back and not be able to do anything. I'm kind of overly emotional about it tonight for some reason.
(((HUGS))) I totally feel you! I feel really bad every time I see a post here about someone who's having problems. In addition, I have a friend who just miscarried her babies and a cousin who's struggling to get pregnant as well. Then sometimes I see persons with kids and they're mistreating them and so many thoughts run through my head. It just seems unfair.
You're right to feel upset for them - life is unfair in this way. Your sensitivity to their situations is what sets you apart as a caring friend.
As someone who has gone through repeated m/c, and was surrounded by seemingly very fertile people at the time (people who were pregnant by surprise, on their first try, or already had a baby), I can tell you that it is easy to feel very alone and bitter.
Something that helped me was to get really regular phone calls, like every few days, where the first question was "how are you doing?" Sometimes I didn't want to talk about it, so I'd say "fine" and brush it off. Other times I'd keep my poor friends on the phone for an hour talking about it. It was just nice to know that I had people who would still persist in caring about me and wouldn't just let me wallow on my own.
One of my friends had a baby and she used to cheer me up a lot by just talking about him, the funny and frustrating things about parenting. It kind of snapped me out of my TTC and m/c fog and reminded me that there's an actual baby on the other side of all this. And it really helped me to remember that having a baby isn't all dreamy cuddle sessions, that every parent on earth wasn't just blissfully living "my dream" and that there were unpleasant aspects to that reality. Then she would always comment about how I would have my own someday to go through these things with, and how our babies would play together someday. So since you're in that same position as a mom with a baby and friends who are struggling, you could possibly reach out to those friends in this same way.
Bre I wish there were more people in the world like you! You are such an amazing friend for caring so much about what they are going through! I hope that they all realize how lucky they are to have someone that cares so much for them.
I'm sorry for your friend's and your sister, and hope their happiness comes soon. I am really sensitive to others struggling with fertility problems. Just so you know, I had complications from the D&E after I lost my baby in 2007. I had an infection, and had to stay overnight in a hospital. It just takes your body longer to recover, but I am sure your sister will get there. I was like Kyle too, it really helped to just be out and about with friends. One of my best friend's had a baby right before I lost my baby, and it helped holding him, and realizing it would be worth the wait.