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I'm still alive....TMI post so open at own risk


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  #1  
August 9th, 2009, 05:56 PM
Mjp121212's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hi everyone. I am still alive.

I was passing some really nasty stuff....straw colored and sticky and just plain disgusting. Now its clear and bloody. No bad cramping....just like periodic AF cramps. I'm told if I experience severe pain to go to the ER or call the dr. So I hope that means it won't be too bad. I just wonder how long it will last
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  #2  
August 9th, 2009, 06:29 PM
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lovely! Im glad your feeling better and the cramps arnt bad!! Hang in there, keep us posted!
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  #3  
August 9th, 2009, 07:07 PM
*kyle*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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This is the worst of it... hang in there... you'll get through it soon.
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  #4  
August 10th, 2009, 06:31 AM
Mars's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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(((hugs)))
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  #5  
August 10th, 2009, 06:34 AM
Resi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Hugs.. I hope it does not get worse and you can start healing.
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  #6  
August 10th, 2009, 08:20 AM
Mjp121212's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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um are you sure this is the worst? It can't be. I've read/heard stories. I have had panic attacks the last 3 days worrying about the horrible severe pain I was giong to be in! This morning at 3am I had some mild cramping, up until now I had some clear discharge with red blood....went to the bathroom and a decent size clot with a tiny ball in the middle.....cramped (scale from 1-10 cramps ranged from 4-7) and then nothing. Very light bleeding, no clotting, no cramping. My mom says it is over. I say its not.....but I hope it is I am saving any clots though to place them in a box and bury them at my dad's grave. I know medically it is really just a clump of cells, and that is what I have been telling myself this whole entire time----no heart beat, no fetal parts, just a clump of cells----but the mommy in me knows it is a baby, no matter what. I have a call in the dr's nurse to see if they want any of it or if it is over or not or whatever. Thanks for all the support everyone, I really do appreciate it.
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  #7  
August 10th, 2009, 08:29 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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No, with 2 of my m/c's i had very very light cramps if any at all. The first one was a little bit more intense but it was only as bad as a regular AF for me. Hang in there, this very well could be the worst of it (from my experience at least).

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Cycle #1-9 - All Natural....5BFN's, 4BFP's (all ended in miscarriage)
Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #8  
August 10th, 2009, 08:37 AM
midnight_starr's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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((hugs))
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  #9  
August 10th, 2009, 08:46 AM
Mjp121212's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Nurse said that was it. All normal and all over. Sid I may bleed worse than I am now, and bleed longer than a period. But everything is over.

Now I am sad I KNOW I did the right thing with the shot. But I guess that little piece of hope I had in me is fighting me and tellingme I should have risked it and waited a week and insisted upon a 3rd ultrasound. But seriously----things were NOT progressing and I had ALL the signs of an ectopic---lower left sided cramping, brown/pink spotting, numbers only doubling every 7 days, a tiny gestational sac that wasn't growing in my uterus-----grew 1-2mm in 9 days, should have grown 9mm. It wasn't going to make any difference except to add to my pain. The gestational sac doesn't even appear until at least weeks. So on July 28th if they saw a gestational sac I had to be AT LEAST 4 weeks.....right? So then on Aug 6th when they saw the gestational sac I had to be AT LEAST 5 weeks. I was actually 4 weeks and like 3 or 4 days on july 28th, and 5 weeks+ on the 6th-----that should have been the time for a heartbeat. We saw the HB with Brayden at 5weeks and 4 days. Regardless the dr said he was on the phone with my OB for a long time and they both agreed that it would not progress and could in fact hurt me, especially since they really didn't know if I had one in my tube or not. If I had 2 ovaries then it would have been different, I could have waited. But I only have the one and I couldn't risk my ability to have more. But I still feel guilty like I should have waited----in my heart. In my head I know I did the right thing by choosing the injection. But I hope I never have to choose it again, and I pray none of you do either. I can't explain the feeling but I don't like it and I am sorry to talk about it. I'll hush now. Sorry.
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  #10  
August 10th, 2009, 09:06 AM
Mega Super Mommy
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I'm so sorry you had to make that decision! But you're right, it wasn't right, and you don't want to screw with your chances of having more. My t&p are with you, Missy!

P.S. please edit your siggy so noone gets confused
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  #11  
August 10th, 2009, 09:09 AM
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I cant even imagine what you must be going through sweetie, I think that you made the right choice though! We are all here for you! Hang in there!!
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  #12  
August 10th, 2009, 09:23 AM
*kyle*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You definitely made the right choice. You had to do what was necessary to save your tube. In the future, you may have a successful pregnancy and that baby will be possible because of this difficult choice. OK, I know that doesn't help with the hurt and grief you feel in your heart. But keep repeating it and it will slowly but surely sink in for you. With my first loss I had to choose to actively start the m/c. I literally ended up taking the "abortion pill." That was very traumatizing because of course there was that tiny bit of hope that a miracle baby could spring from the empty sac on the ultrasound. But I know now it was not possible, and the baby I'm growing today got his chance partly due to my decision then. I'm so sorry once again Missy.

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  #13  
August 10th, 2009, 09:58 AM
Mjp121212's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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As I was researching the shot, the only hits I was getting was on ectopics or elected abortions. I totally forgot about the siggy....I'll change it now. Thanks for the reminder. And thanks for everything else.
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  #14  
August 10th, 2009, 10:49 AM
Frozendesire's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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You are a very strong woman and I couldn't imagine being where you are right now. Huge hugs go to you. I'm glad you didn't go through much pain. I know my first m/c was extremely painful and I went to the ER because of it, but my second was like a normal heavier period. It's weird how it can be so different.
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  #15  
August 11th, 2009, 01:47 AM
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  #16  
August 11th, 2009, 12:23 PM
amazing_love's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so so sorry! I know how difficult it is to go through a m/c. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.
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