I realize that this board has had a very trying week. We lost a co-host, we've lost members, and I don't believe "tattoo-gate" was the real cause-- I think it was a symptom, and not the cause of the collapse of the board we once had.

I know many of you girls have become moms, many are pregnant, and some of us are still waiting to share the joy of motherhood.

I think at some point, many of us stopped listening to each other. We all used to be so close. Looking back at January's board, it looks nothing like the one we have now. I believe that many of us have had unkind thoughts, or said unkind things- and I'm calling myself out on it right now, admitting to not always being as nice or at least as supportive of people as I should have been. MANY of us have lost our thoughts and tempers with one another but have still come back stronger for the wear. We all can at least imagine how hard it must be to be pregnant {Even if never been there}, a new mom {even if we've never been there} and unable to conceive a child {even if we've never been there}. We've shared in each others personal ups and downs, but as "fights" have began, did we ever think, "Maybe there is a WAY deeper and VERY different cause for what's being said and going on right now?"

Last night, I decided I was "done" with this "message board". But really, this isn't just a message board-- it's a family, dysfunctional as it may have been at times. We have shared our most intimate thoughts, feelings, and emotions with one another. For all of the ill-will harboring that has been going on, I'm having a very tough time dealing with that aspect alone.

We are all different people, with very different backgrounds, hobbies, personalities, etc. That's what once made us so great when we were willing to be supportive. I now think that the common support has really been forgotten.

And you know what, it SUCKS.

[*krista*]

Not you too Michelle!

((((((Michelle)))))))

If I'm honest, I don't *really* know what's gone on and I haven't gone searching in order to understand. Maybe that makes me naive or insensitive, but as the saying goes, what you don't know wont hurt you.

I've never had cross words with anyone here and I to, am sad, that people have dwindled away in the past, not just this scenario, but over the years, for various reasons (devoting time to families, no internet, etc, etc).

[*krista*]

Oh... and might I add that the fight that is breaking up the board is incredibly silly IMO? I love you ladies, and I know many of you are very passionate about Twilight, but the way this fight came about is silly and not worth breaking up the board over. Michelle, you HAVE to be right, there are other reasons this is happening, and I don't think they have anything to do with Twilight.

[Resi]

I must live under a rock because before all this happened I thought everything was fine. I have noticed that it is slower and not as many post all the time. I thought that was because everyone is busy with life stuff. I know I don't have any bad feelings towards anyone and I plan on sticking around. I hope all the other regulars and vistors do so too. It would not be the same without a lot of you.

[Mars]

I understand what you're saying Michelle and it does suck! I hope you don't leave too.

[ANGWife]

Originally Posted by MichelleAnne

I now think that the common support has really been forgotten.

And you know what, it SUCKS.

This is not the same board as when it first started.

[niknok]

Well FWIW, I'm not going anywhere!

[midnight_starr]

This all just makes me very sad I don't plan on leaving though... I still hope that I will have the support and guidance of everyone here throughout my TTC process and once I get my BFP!

[♥Ashley♥]

This all just REALLY sucks. I love all of you girls, and I cant believe this is happening to this board. The WTTC grads are the closest knit girls and I cant believe what is happening. I had a friend from the wedding planning board all ready to update you guys on the day of my wedding and everything, but now im thinking that no one would even really care, or be here at that. This all just really sucks. I was the closest with all the girls here, more than anywhere else ....where is my "JM home" going to be now? Who do i share all my wedding/ttc/baby excitement with????

[*Anna*]

Im not going anywhere and hope it goes back to how it once was

[Resi]

Originally Posted by ♥Ashley♥

This all just REALLY sucks. I love all of you girls, and I cant believe this is happening to this board. The WTTC grads are the closest knit girls and I cant believe what is happening. I had a friend from the wedding planning board all ready to update you guys on the day of my wedding and everything, but now im thinking that no one would even really care, or be here at that. This all just really sucks. I was the closest with all the girls here, more than anywhere else ....where is my "JM home" going to be now? Who do i share all my wedding/ttc/baby excitement with????

Ash, I still want your updates from your wedding. I'm not going any where and this will always be my #1 home. I think a lot of girls still feel this way.

[Mjp121212]

Wow this happens everytime i stay gone for a little while, and I am left wondering huh?

Anyway----:
We are all human. We all have different ideas, values, set of cultural and societal norms that we cherish, and vastly different perceptive point of views-----and the level of these characteristics can vary day by day. Body language is the largest part of our ability to communicate. With out it, our words or generally taken literally and at face value. I read michelle A. differently than I do Michelle S. I read Fifi different than I do Angela and those both different that I do Jennifer. It is because of those differences we fight, and because of those differences we are so close and do enjoy this board so much! Where else can you find an awesome new globetrotting mom, the best scottish mom on the planet, a newyorker, an arizona hottie, and a gorgeous army wife in Italy, and lil ol normal plain me all in one place sharing the same feelings?????? I have a sarcastic sense of humor----not everyone sees it as humor lol. I have a different way of dealing with ups and downs of life, that not everyone else has. I'm viewed in a different light than everyone else, and everyone else is viewed differently.

It is important to remember that it is that uniqueness, that charming difference that brings us together, and while it is a precarious thread to be sure-----it is our gift. To lose one member of our thread weakens it further. In Real Life when a friend ticks you off, you go to that friend and tell them, talk about it, and get on with your life----hopefully closer than before. I hope all involved in this situation can do the same.

Now as I said before, I have no idea what is going on, what went on, who is involved or anything else and I am sorry for that. Perhaps I could have helped.

[petalfuzz]

I can't give this board up! It's true that I don't post here as much anymore, but that doesn't mean you ladies don't have my support! It's because I haven't been a grad since early this year and I didn't want to confuse people by still posting all the time! But I'm due to be a grad again in a few months and I yearn to be able to post here and get support from all the great friends here!!

I was really upset about it this weekend! I considered switching to TTC 1+ years , but I don't wanna! So I'm sticking it out no matter what!

[midnight_starr]

Originally Posted by Resi

Ash, I still want your updates from your wedding. I'm not going any where and this will always be my #1 home. I think a lot of girls still feel this way.

I cant give this board up either, I think the fight is silly as well. We are all adults and no matter what we SHOULD be able to put whateve behind us and move forward..apparently thats not the case and Im sad that this is all going on. But I will never leave this board. WTTC has been my home for the 2 years that I have been on JM. And I love everyone!

We arent the same as we were those 2 years ago, but things change. I think this fight may even bring whose left closer than ever..at least I hope. And I hope in time those that we lost come back!

[*kyle*]

This board is what we collectively make it.

If we want to keep score about how many responses each thread gets, and who is or isn't posting, call it a clique, insult one another, harbor resentments, go behind each other's backs off the board, and flip our hair when we don't feel like we're getting the validation we want... then the board is going to be a catty and unfriendly place. If we develop an attitude that there are "sides" to be taken here, then there will be a split, and there will be sides. It's a self-fulfilling prophesy. If members bring negativity, then the board will be negative.

The way I see it, we each have a decision to make. 1. Am I going to remain on this board? And 2. If so - am I going to be a negative person, or am I going to be a positive person?

There is no point for any of us to stay on this board if we don't feel like we're getting support for where we're each at in our TTC/Mommy journeys. Every single one of us has another place we could go instead - one of several TTC boards, a DDC, a PR, or any number of specialized boards on JM. WTTC Grads only exists in the first place because there was a group of girls on the main WTTC board who spent a long time together and felt close enough to request that this area be specially made, and it was, but it could just as soon not exist and JM would not miss it. In other words... It only exists FOR US.

If we each decide that we want the board to be a positive and supportive place, then here's what you should do: post positive and supportive things. That's it. Pretty simple.

[JediRach]

Okay, so technically, I shouldn't even be on this board because I'm not a grad and that's why I never post. I don't know the people who hang out in the regular forum but I feel really stupid posting stuff here. And I feel like people don't want to read my posts because I'm in a different part of the TTC journey, the real legitimate waiting part. But I lurk everyday and I rejoice in BFP and cry when people don't get the results they want.

I miss the board how it used to be but I'm sticking it out. I think we can make it work. We have the best group of girls JM has to offer. I love you guys!

Originally Posted by JediRach

I think we can make it work. We have the best group of girls JM has to offer. I love you guys!

I whole heartly STRONGLY agree!!

Originally Posted by JediRach

Okay, so technically, I shouldn't even be on this board because I'm not a grad and that's why I never post.

I disagree. You're part of our board and therefore you should post! So get on with it