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I suppose I should really update, jeez!


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  #1  
August 17th, 2009, 06:26 PM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Yep, I haven't been around much at all. I don't really know what to say...I feel a little better but I'm still not myself. I was fine for a little while after Phineas was born, but then I really went downhill. I got to the point where I was hardly sleeping, losing weight like CRAZY, not doing anything. Just sitting around watching TV all the time, couldn't clean my house or take care of my kids, I felt horrible I started my diaper making business and my store on HC, but I think I was starting to use it as an excuse to lock myself away and not spend any time with my family because I was just so overwhelmed. We just moved all my sewing stuff downstairs to the family area and I've been making a lot more effort to spend more time with the kids too.

I had a checkup with the OB clinic and the doctor there prescribed me Zoloft, and sent me to counseling at the social services place on base. It's actually helping a lot I think, I've just had a really rough year. The Marines are always getting me down, telling me what a crappy person I am and how I don't deserve my rank (because I can't run fast ), then my dad died and my mom is an idiot and we had all this family drama! And having a baby...I guess the stress of that just kind of put me over the edge, but I don't have post partum depression, I'm just messed up in general. I've been taking the Zoloft for 2 months now and I don't feel like I'm better, I'm still really angry and irritable all the time.

I saw a rheumatologist last week and he diagnosed me with Chronic Pain Syndrome. Unfortunately it sounds kind of fake (the marines think I make this crap up) but it really isn't. He said it has to do with low serotonin levels in your brain, too long to explain now. My whole body aches, all the time. It's horrible. Plus I have to work out and run ALL THE TIME because I'm in so much pain and I'm slow, so they make me work out more and it makes it worse. I have to take a CFT (combat fitness test) on wednesday and a PFT (physical fitness test) on Friday, and if I fail either of those I might be totally screwed.

I'm supposed to go on terminal leave in December because I've been saving all my leave, but I probably won't be able to if I don't pass my PFT. I'm so ready to be done with this whole thing. My job is boring and stupid, I don't even do anything anymore I just sit there and pretend because I don't care. Thankfully my friends from work are really cool and I've been able to go out once and a while to parties or to movies/girls night out.

I have another doctors appointment this Thursday, so I'm going to ask him about maybe updating my Zoloft dosage, and then see if I can get some heavier painkillers that I can take before I go to bed so I can sleep. The rheumatologist gave me 500mg tylenol tablets and said to take two of them every 6 hours, and I've been doing that for the past week, week and a half maybe and it doesn't even take the edge off. I can deal with the pain a lot better during the day, but I really need to do SOMETHING because I can't sleep, it takes me forever to fall asleep! I'm going to stop breastfeeding in December so I can start taking Elavil, because I've been on that before and I know for a fact that it will help. I just can't put Phinny on formula, I would feel really bad plus I don't want to spend the money. I'm stashing up my freezer so he will probably be able to have breastmilk for a good 6 months after I stop pumping though!

Oh, and I have decided to try the gluten free diet again. Last time I made it all of like a week and a half but I was asking on another forum and heard that it can take up to 3 months for your intestines to heal and you feel totally better. I have all the symptoms of Celiacs, and my blood test was negative but I guess they have a lot of false negatives. The only way to tell for sure is a biopsy. I think going gluten free helps a lot of people with auto immune disorders though, and I'm still convinced that I have an undiagnosed one.

The good news...I got a new car! It's a 2009 Honda CRV, it's white, it has a sunroof and tinted windows and nice tires...I'm in love with it! It's much easier to drive, my truck was a stick and it was really hard on my knee.

Phinny and Aden are doing great. Aden is talking up a storm and making up songs to sing, she's obsessed with bandaids for some reason Phin is super duper fat, I think he's about 20 lbs now. He's sitting up on his own, he just started crawling last weekend! He's so squishy and funny and just loveable. He's always babbling and smiling...until he gets cranky before bedtime.

Aaaand I know you all want pics!

Towel baby after bathtime!





Crawling through my shelves that I use for fabric




Fatty babies are the best


Big sister Aden!



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  #2  
August 17th, 2009, 07:21 PM
*kyle*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Katie, I'm sorry you've had these struggles. However, it sounds like you're taking some good steps forward, both with the medication and counseling, as well as making some changes to your life to support a more positive direction. I hope you'll continue to take care of yourself as well as your precious kiddos. Remember that the Marines are temporary in your life and this chapter will be behind you someday soon. Then you'll be able to move onto a new career that's much more rewarding for you. Maybe full time cloth diaper maker?
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  #3  
August 17th, 2009, 07:44 PM
LisanAndy's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Gosh, I'm so sorry about everything you've been going through. Praying things start looking up for you soon. Your little ones are too adorable
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  #4  
August 17th, 2009, 07:52 PM
aBookasmommy
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Im sorry your having issues but you really seem like you see the light at the end of the tunnel now. Its great to hear from you!!!! Good luck with your tests sweetie, I really hope you pass. And tell the marines to shove it up there butt your doing your best!!

And OMG look at the rolls on him!! Hes soooooooo adorable!! And I cant believe how bigg Aden is!! You have two gorgeous kiddos!
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  #5  
August 17th, 2009, 09:53 PM
ScottishBrit's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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oh Katie, Im sorry!!! I hope things start getting better for you soon, I bet it feel's nice to get that off your chest....I can't believe how big Phin Is...OMG!!!! I want to squeeze him! I love that last pic of Aden, cuteness!!!
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  #6  
August 17th, 2009, 10:03 PM
JustBreathe
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Wow Katie, have you had a lot on your plate! I hope somehow you can get a medical discharge. Did the Dr. mention Chronic Fatigue, Fibromyalgia, or RSD? Take care!
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  #7  
August 18th, 2009, 01:59 AM
ETanny's Avatar Mamma 2 Moo & Pops
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Sorry your going through such a hard time!! I hope things ease up soon for you!!

The pics are wonderfull
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  #8  
August 18th, 2009, 03:19 AM
*Fiona*
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It's so nice to get an update from you. I messaged on FB yesterday or day before. I'm sorry you've been having such a crappy time, I hope things pick up for you real soon.

Are there not any other meds you could try whilst BFing other than Zoloft? I hosted the depression board here a while back and we used to get asked alot what could be taken during pregnancy and BFing and altho I can't remember the meds, there are definately more than just one. Another med might help you a lot.
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  #9  
August 18th, 2009, 05:58 AM
midnight_starr's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Sorry you are having a rough time.. I hope things get better for you soon!
Phin is getting huge and is so precious!! Thanks for the update!! We've missed you!
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  #10  
August 18th, 2009, 06:18 AM
Mars's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I'm so sorry about all the struggles you've been going through and I really hope that you pass your tests.

Aden and Phin are adorable and growing so well!!

I hope things start looking up for you.
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  #11  
August 18th, 2009, 07:38 AM
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Thanks for updating, even though your life has been a struggle! Good job getting counciling and medications too, even if they're not quite right yet. I hope your pain will lessen a lot and you start feeling better soon!
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  #12  
August 18th, 2009, 07:56 AM
♥Ashley♥'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Katie!!!!!!!!! Ive been thinking about you! Im so glad to see you around again! Im so so sorry for all youve been through and all your going through, I was going to ask the same thing that Michelle did, did the dr's mention fibromyalgia? My aunt was diagnosed a few years ago, after years and years of chronic pain and suffering. I hope things start to look up for you soon sweetie! It is so tough when your always in pain on top of all that you went through

I hope you stick around and keep us updated, we really missed you!!
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Cycle #10-11 - Met with first RE, diagnosed with heterzygeous MTHFR mutation & slightly low SA on all counts. -BFN, Cycle #12 - First IUI+Trigger - BFN, Cycle #13 - BFN
Cycle #14-15 - Met with new RE, diagnosed with a blocked right tube that previous RE completely overlooked or didnt care to mention. Soy (120mg) - BFN
Cycle #16 - Clomid (100mg) - BFN, Cycle #17 - Clomid (100mg)+Trigger+IUI - BFN
Cycle #18 - Acupuncture+Clomid (100mg) - BFN
Cycle #19-27 - 2 Soy (160mg) cycles, the rest all natural also 30lbs lost!! - BFN's
Cycle #28 - New RE is GREAT! Put on bcp 7/6/11, Lap surgery 8/1/11- Tubal cyst (5cm) found and removed, Uterine Septum removed, and Stage II-III endo removed. Cycle #29 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle #30 - All Natural - BFN, Cycle#31 - All Natural - BFN, DONE TTC FOR NOW




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  #13  
August 18th, 2009, 08:17 AM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Thanks ladies

I did ask the doctor what the difference is between what I have and fibromyalgia, and he said that I have Chronic Pain Syndrome because I have depression and sleep problems along with the pain and all the other symptoms. So I guess if I didn't have those problems it would be classified as Fibromyalgia...

I think there might be a couple other depression meds I could take while breastfeeding, but Elavil is a tricyclic antidepressant and that's what I really need for the pain and sleeping problems and all that. I don't think there are any options that are usually used to treat chronic pain that you can take while breastfeeding.

I did get some good news today! They have changed their minds AGAIN, and decided that I don't have to take the PFT this Friday. I just have to pass the combat test this Wednesday, and then get weighed in next week and I'll be good. I know I can pass the CFT, and the weigh in should be no problem because I've lost all the baby weight several months ago actually. So that is really awesome! I think they realized that if they didn't let me go on terminal leave and I failed my PFT that it would just create more problems for them and be a huge pain in the butt.

I do still have to go work out 5x a week, but I can live with that. Especially if my doctor will give me some better pain meds when I see him on thursday.
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  #14  
August 18th, 2009, 08:24 AM
Resi's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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I had been wondering what happened to you. I'm sorry you have been having a hard time. Your kids are so cute.
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  #15  
August 18th, 2009, 04:56 PM
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I've been wondering where you ran off to!! Hi Katie!! I'm sorry things aren't going really well. Have the docs tried Lyrica? I had some chronic pain issues and Lyrica really helped. It also helps with my stepmom's chronic pain from multiple sclerosis. I don't know if it will help you, but it is worth a try if you haven't tried it yet. It is a lot better than pain pills because there aren't a lot of side affects.

I love the pics of your babies! Phin has gotten so big! He is soooooooo cute! And Aden is gorgeous as always.
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  #16  
August 18th, 2009, 07:58 PM
*Anna*'s Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Katie I've been thinking about you lately. Sorry for everything you are going through... I hope everything works out for you! You are so sweet and such a wonderful mommie Hope your CD business takes off big!!! How exciting! Your babies are just adorable!!

HUGS!!!
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  #17  
August 19th, 2009, 05:14 AM
bittersweet's Avatar Mega Super Mommy
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So good to hear from you!! I'm sorry things have been so rough. I cannot belive the Marines are being so intolerant (well actually I can believe it, i just think its horrible). You have a documented medical condition, if they continue to give you a hard time about I'd file a complaint with your IG. If you get pain with your exercises, why hasnt your Dr wrote you some kind of profile to modify your workouts? It just seems like you are being treated unfairly.

I really hope things get better soon.
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  #18  
August 19th, 2009, 04:14 PM
LaLaRose3's Avatar My brand of heroin.
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I have really missed you! If you need to talk, anytime, I am around. Your kiddos are so adorable!
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  #19  
August 19th, 2009, 04:29 PM
thepinkleprechaun's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Whew, I passed the CFT today! I'm reeeeally not excited about the remedial PT 5 days a week though. I saw the schedule in the office yesterday and there are several 5, 6 and 7 mile runs

They have been very unfair to me, after I had Aden they were always telling me that I was fat and my stomach was fat...etc, etc.

I have been on profiles before, usually they just ignore the medical advice. I have realized that it won't do any good anyways because the doctors have told me that there isn't anything left they can do for my knee and other injuries.

The other problem is that there are no options in the Marine Corps. In the Army/AF/Navy they have alternate PFTs that they can do where they bike or swim instead of running. For us it's just 3 miles, all or nothing. If you can't make it they kick you out. If you're overweight they kick you out, no exceptions.

I have done a medical board as well and they came back and said fit for full duty, so that was no help. At this point I'm just happy that I'm almost done with all of this!
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  #20  
August 20th, 2009, 11:40 AM
soImarriedAnerd's Avatar Platinum Supermommy
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Great to hear from you!!! Sorry your having such a hard time with things though, sounds like your doing everything you can to get better!
LOVE THE PICTURES!!!!
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