[Alison81]

I'm having such a hard time lately.

The dad of this baby and I started talking again, and everyone thought we would get back together. Then out of the blue he says I'm too old for him, and not his type at all, and I am making his life miserable by having a baby. He said his mom wanted to invite me to dinner, and he told her no because he never wanted to be with me like that. I think I have cried for 2 days straight. Why do I get stuck with the jerks who treat me like I'm nothing?

I'm feeling really lonely and vulnerable and emotional. I'm trying to hold it together, and be a good mom to Elsa. She's having a hard time because she left her preschool, teachers, and friends. So I have to be there for her, but I wish I had someone to talk to. I can't even talk to my best friend because her boyfriend is very controlling, and I can't talk to her without him there, and I don't care to hear his opinion most of the time. It would be nice to have someone sit with me at night, keep me company, instead of spending night after night being just Elsa and I. I am on vacation from work until september, so it's not like I talk to any adults during the day unless it's the dad of this baby, and considering how emotional I am, you can see the good that is doing me.

I wish I knew that it would get better, right now I feel like I am not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel at all. Please tell me all the things I have to look forward to, and that when she's born this will all be behind me, because right now I am so sick of being sad.

[alicenwonderland]

I'm so sorry. You deserve so much more. I'm so angry this guy is still jerking you around. I'm hoping that when Kylie is born, you'll be so busy and in love with her, that you'll be able to put all this nonsense behind you. *Hugs*

[alicenwonderland]

Do you know if there's a mom's of preschooler's or MOPS program in your area? Friends and relatives have found loads of support through their pregnancies from ladies they've met there.

[**jessie**]

First of all, I just wanted to tell you what a great mama you are to your two girls. I am so sorry you are going through all this stuff.

I hope you don't mind me posting. I have kept up with your posts even though I have not always responded. I personally think that if there is this much drama/bad feelings so early on in the relationship, it is a really bad sign. I know this man will have to be in your life forever in order to be there for his daughter, but it doesn't have to be more than that. Don't get yourself stuck in another relationship that makes you feel this way. You deserve someone SO much better! Maybe it's for the best to just cut ties with this one (other than involvement with his daughter).

((hugs))

[Trannyfromtheuk]

I agree a 150% with what Jessie has just said hun.

you seem like a strong woman and you will be fine x

It coulf be he knows what he is doing to you and because your so emotinal he can keep treating you this way! show him your stronger then that x

Im sorry hes treating you like that sweetie!! You deserve SOOOOOOOO much better and its not fair to you!

Do you have a social worker through your OBs office? You might I definitely think you should look into finding out. Mine was awesome with the whole loser Brandon situation and even found me a pregnancy support group!

[midnight_starr]

Everything will be ok! You are a strong person and you will get through this!! I am sorry these jerks keep coming along...

[freesiangel]

I'm so sorry you're having to go through this. (((hugs))) This guy is such a jerk.

Oh Allison, I am so sorry you are going through this Being a single mom is hard- one of the hardest things in the world, but I know you can do it. My mom was my rock growing up. You CAN shield your girls from what you are feeling. However, you do need adult support. Its a shame that you cant talk to your gf without her bf being there That is what gf's are for! I don't really have advice, other than to not keep what you are feeling bottled up...even if that means typing it out here, or writing in a journal. Try to get out of the house when you can, even if its just to window shop or go to the park. I know its hard to meet people, but you never know unless you try.

[ScottishBrit]

Ali you do deserve SOOOOOO much more!!! Im sorry he's an Idiot and as much as you want things to work with him I dont think it would be good for you and the girls in the future! You have everything you need right there with Elsa and the new baby coming. Does his mom want to have a relationship with you/the baby? Maybe you can do that with her so she's not left out of her grandchild's life. Maybe he'll come around when the baby's born.

[soImarriedAnerd]

It WILL get better....and it will be more wonderful then you could imagine!

[Chelnae6]

If I was living in NY I'd be your shoulder, but unfortunately I'm not . I can only imagine what you are going through as my DF and I are separating and although at this moment we have not officially separated I already feel alone and am preparing to face the reality that I'm probably going to be a single mother.

Ali! I know how it sucks to not have much contact with adults. With Mike and my friends working, I'm along most of the time and it stinks. Could you maybe call a couple of co-workers and see if they would like to have a "before school starts" get together? Maybe one of Elsa's Pre-K moms you like for a playdate?

As far as the FOB, I hope his attitude gets better. Seeing children often melts people's hearts. Could you inititate contact with his mom on your own?

You are a great person with a great heart, you will be an awesome mom with or without his support-- if all he has to offer is negativity, I'd say you could do less with that!!!

[Mars]

You deserve a lot better than this!! I understand that this is a difficult but I hope that you find the strength to cut whatever "romantic" ties you feel for this guy and move on because he seems like a real jerk and he's just stringing you along for the ride. That is a horrible thing to do to a person and even more so seeing that you are pregnant and that your little one feels what you feel. You need some strong, positive support and I hope that you can find someone to share with who can help you when you're feeling down.

I honestly think that you know deep down that things are not working out but you've been holding out a little hope. This guy is not the right guy for you and I'm sorry to say but I don't think he's shaping out to be a good father figure either. I can hold out hope with you that he changes somewhat when the baby is born but considering all that he's done, I'm not sure that he will.

I do believe that you have the strength to get through this and I know that you will. I'm really sorry about all that you've been through.

(((HUGS)))

[LisanAndy]

I can't imagine what you're going through right now. The dad sounds like a total jerk. I'm keeping you, Elsa, and Kylie in my prayers ((HUGS))

[~*sierra*~]

**hugs** you definitely have something amazing to look forward to! your beautiful new baby girl, not to mention raising two gorgeous children. a million zillion hugs to you and if you ever wanna talk PM me, my SIL (who is pg and lives with me) is going thru the same thing right now with the father of her baby.

[Alison81]

Thanks everyone, I am feeling a bit better today. I think the main thing I need to do is get over any hope that he will want to be with me in a relationship. It's hard though, because he gives me a lot of mixed signals, and he's her dad, of course I'd want us to be together. But I am trying to move on. I did spend some time with friends today, and that helped. I needed that. I live next door to my parents, but there's not anything I can talk to them about. We're not close.

Oh, and luckily I am friends with both his mom and his stepmom. His stepmom actually gives him the hardest time about the way he treats me, his dad too, and his mom has told me she wishes he would be with me. But either way, they are supportive and want to be in Kylie's life. They are really good people. That's why the way he is surprises me so much.