[ShannonMVT]

I don't know for some reason I just want to vent about this...

So there's this person I used to go to church with who is one of my facebook friends. She and her husband are undergoing fertility treatments.

So she posts a video link on facebook to a really horrific child abuse case and then says it amazes her that someone so fortunate to be blessed with a child could treat them like that and that she would give anything to have a child to love on, etc.

So I leave a comment saying that it was such a horrific, sad thing and so sad for the baby (who died). That I thought it was cruel that people like that can pop out babies and others who would cherish them struggle to have them. I also told her that her future baby was lucky because he/she will be loved before they ever came to be. And that that is the only "gift" infertility gave me, was to never take my child for granted.

Then this other person, whose profile pic is her with a baby (but she is older so possibly a grandchild) comes on and posts this:
This is one of the most saddest to see. These horrible parents need Jesus and that I can pray for. Through out the years I've learned that God's perfect timing is and has always been there even though we want things to happen "NOW". Be consistent with your prayers and let God work.
So glad to be your friend.

And okay, I am a Christian and I am honestly not sure what I believe about why things happen the way they do. Maybe it was God's timing that I got pregnant with Matthew when I did, the way I did. But ARGH it just rubs me the wrong way what this other woman said to her. Like oh well, just be patient because God's timing is perfect. I just feel like what she really needed was to have someone affirm that YES THIS SUCKS AND IT IS UNFAIR.

[*kyle*]

Yuck. I hate that line of reasoning too. It just strikes me as so cold and uncaring.

I'm maybe not the best person to comment on religious stuff since I'm not religious myself, but even those who wholeheartedly believe in religion don't need to be preached at about God's plan for them, when they're just clearly in pain. A sympathetic ear and a hug would go a lot farther.

[alicenwonderland]

I'm religious... but really starting to HATE that line, and people who use it. Just like "loss is God's way of taking care of babies that aren't forming properly." Grrrrrr. I'm with ya on this one.

[JediRach]

I'm not really religious so it rubs me the wrong way even more I think. Don't tell someone they don't have to baby they are desperately trying to have because God doesn't want them too. Ugh.

[IamMom]

I am religious and it doesn't rub me the wrong way cause I do believe in God's plan and God's timing. However I do believe in free will also, so I do believe that if God offers things to you like fertility treatments you should actively participate in His plan. It has taken me a while to trust in God's plan for my life but now that I have this line of reasoning does actually comfort me. Everybody is different and different things said affect people is all different ways....if someone had said that to me while I was dealing with anything trying I would have probably felt okay with it.

I hope your friend gets that baby she's longing for and I hope that if she did get hurt by this ladies comment that she can somehow find peace in the words of friends like you and others.

[petalfuzz]

I'm religious and her statement is odd to me because I think she is referring to the video of the abuse. I don't think it was God's will to have a baby die of abuse--and it's horrible and wrong to infer such an idea.

[*krista*]

I'm with you. I'm not religious either, so that really bugs me. My fav is when people attribute their children to god's blessings. I know that is just in some people's nature and they don't mean anything malicious by it at all, but to me that says they are in their god's favor moreso than others, which is why they have children and others don't.

Like I said, I know that's not what they mean, but I just can't help my mind from going there when I hear that.

[Mars]

I do believe in God's will but I do believe that there are cases where intervention may be necessary and that God has given us a mind to make decisions and choices for ourselves as well.

[soImarriedAnerd]

I'm not a big fan of that either.