Kids in the delivery room

**Jenn** · #1 September 13th, 2009, 11:43 AM

Ian and I were talking about this the other day and were contemplating having Liam with us when the baby is born. He will be 4 by then and he absolutely adores babies and watches baby shows with me all the time so he's seen on TV babies being born, a lot. I will be back at the birth center so the room is much like a bedroom and not like a hospital room. Plus if he gets scared my Mom will be there and can take him out to watch TV in the living room or get him something to eat in the kitchen. I don't see him getting scared especially since I don't make any noise during labor. My only thing is he may distract me and keep me from focusing and relaxing like I need to be. So maybe only bring him in once the baby is ready to come out? I don't know, I'm torn right now. Obviously if I go into labor in the middle of the night like I did with both boys this will be a non issue because there's no way I'll wake him up to come with us.

There's no way I'd have Lochy there, he'll only be 2 1/2 and is all over the place and would just be underfoot and no know what is going on anyway.

~*Bethy*~ · #2 September 13th, 2009, 12:08 PM

I love the idea, but honestly, I would only bring him when your close to having the baby, and let him come in right after s/he is born. My son is really sensitive to how Im feeling and it would just be too much for him to see me in labor, even if I didnt make any noises. There is also a difference between the lady on TV giving birth, and mommy giving birth. I dunno, just my 2 cents.

LisanAndy · #3 September 13th, 2009, 01:25 PM

I think it's a neat idea but I know Taylor would be concerned if I allowed her in. If I got pregnant next August and was due May 2011 she'd be 3.5. I just think I'd be constantly worried about how she was feeling and if she was ok and it might impede my labor. I like it really calm and quiet anyway. Taylor LOVES watching baby shows with me too, it's funny you mentioned that. She always says "baby in tummy?" and when the laboring mommy is in the hospital she says "baby coming!" LoL. Once the baby's out she says "hiiiii babyyyy"... too cute

LadyGamer · #4 September 13th, 2009, 01:41 PM

I would be very concerned how he would handle seeing you in so much pain. It could be rather traumatizing, since he isn't old enough to understand quite that you'll be okay.

Frozendesire · #5 September 13th, 2009, 02:01 PM

There is no way I would let Curtis be in the room when I'm having a baby. He is way too sensitive to how people feel and he would be very worried and maybe even scared.

I think it does depend on the child but I don't know if I'd feel comfortable with any child in there with me under the age of like well I dunno but an older teen haha.

soImarriedAnerd · #6 September 13th, 2009, 02:29 PM

My nurse opinion: you need someone (other than your spouse) there also so if he gets out of control or can't handle it he needs someone who doesn't have to be in the room take him out....the nurses CAN NOT (I have had TONS of moms who expected the staff to kind of take care of the kid.

)
Also they need to be old enough and know NOT to mess with stuff in the room...I have had kids pull out internal monitors/rip out mom's ivs/push buttons on the monitors.

It comes down to the child needs to be in control while there and if not there needs to be someone to take care of them.
On a mom opinion: prepare them and talk to them and just ask them if they want to be there...if they say yes and you can find a responsible person to be there for THEM then go for it!

Resi · #7 September 14th, 2009, 06:04 AM

I think it's a neat idea. I think you know best how he would do and if he would like to be there to see the birth. Since you will be in a birthing center and your mom will be there I think that makes a big difference. If you really want him there and think he may want to be there talk to him about it and see what he says. If it ends up being too much for either of you your mom can take him out of the birthing room.

Alison81 · #8 September 14th, 2009, 02:45 PM

I wouldn't do it. Elsa will probably be 6 by the time Kylie is born, and I don't think she understands enough. It would be really scary to her, even if I didn't look like I was in pain. Just seeing the medical stuff, and blood, and fluids, it would be scary to her. She's going to be at home until I'm cleaned off, Kylie is cleaned off, and we're settled. I have seen some kids there with their moms during labor on tv shows, and they always seem fine, but it wouldn't be for me. I think it would make me anxious too.

Mars · #9 September 14th, 2009, 03:34 PM

I think it depends on the child and how he or she is emotionally. If the child has a "real" understanding of what's happening then perhaps but if he/she is sensitive/emotional then perhaps not.

**Jenn** · #10 September 15th, 2009, 11:37 AM

Thanks for all your responses. It's definitely food for thought and something we probably won't decide on until we get much closer.

He is a very well behaved little boy--knows not to run around or touch things that don't belong to him. And like I said, my Mom will be there to take care of him.

I'm not worried about him seeing me in "pain" because honestly I'm not in a lot of pain during labor. And when I do get uncomfortable, no one even knows. My Mom actually thought I was sleeping and that labor stalled when in fact I was in transition and Loch was born shortly after.

My thing is that if I go into labor during the day there won't be anyone here to watch the boys so we'll have to bring them with us and have my Mom and someone else meet us there to take them. So I figured if Liam has to come anyway, why not stay and be there for the baby to be born. He's so excited for this baby. And he's really become my little support/cheerleader during while I'm sick. He'll hear/see my throwing up and say "Sick again Mommy?" and I'll tell him, "Yes I am baby." and he'll say "Good job getting out the sick Mommy!" until I'm done. He's actually always been like that. Even when I was pregnant with Loch and horribly sick all the time, he was only a little over a year at the height of my HG and there was one time I was so weak and dizzy I could only crawl over to the bucket and lay in the middle of the floor puking. He sat right next to me the whole time rubbing my head. He is really such a sweet heart and I think after these two pregnancies I've desensitized him to bodily fluids. But, we'll see. Still in the discussion phase right now.

And I don't want to ask him about it because if I go into labor during the middle of the night I'm not waking him up to come and I don't want him to be disappointed then.

IamMom · #11 September 15th, 2009, 01:25 PM

I wish you luck with your decision Jenn....sounds like it might be tough. Personally I would never have another of my children in the room when I gave birth. Just not knowing exactly how they will react would scare me....I wouldn't want to think my child would be fine and then have them freak and be all feeling guilty for the rest of my life that I put them through that. I wouldn't even try it. I like birth to be a private experience between me and DH anyway - we didn't have one single other person with us at either birth (not even at the hospital waiting on us) because we liked it to be just us.

But I hope it all works out for you and if you do let Liam attend the birth that he does great with it!!!!